Thursday, May 29, 2008


There now follows a short-ish intermission - more than enough time to complete the following 'Spot the Twunt' challenge...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Snoozy Bo-bos

There was a hell of a racket today as a convoy of fuel protesters' lorries, horns blaring, trundled through my neck of the woods heading towards Westminister...

Loud they might have been but not loud enough to wake up the two blokes who parked outside my front door in a officially authorised clamperwagon for a refreshing little nap...

hmmm, taking on a horde of hairy out of town truckers or snoozy bo-bos?

tough call


and, in other London transport related news, is it just me or is there the faint whiff of goatse about this new Tube poster...


Something for the planespotters out there

Thanks to Lord Patel for pointing my nose towards a potentially very interesting, um, slip up in Belgium this weekend

A 747 freight carrier belonging to Kalitta Air, en route to Bahrain, slid off the runway at Brussels airport and broke its back on Sunday

Modern airliners with broken backs are thankfully a rare sight so this collection of pics of the unfortunate 747 is worth a gander

The most obvious, if somewhat unlikely cause, for such an unusual occurrence is that the load shifted on take-off

It would be interesting to know what the 76 ton load actually consisted of. The only details which have been reported are that 40 tons of it was ‘diplomatic mail’

40 tons of diplomatic mail

Kalitta Air is, of course, the charter air freight company which did such sterling work illegally shipping arms through the UK in a frantic race against time in 2006 - final destination the pre-cease fire open spaces of Lebanon

The amusing question for Kalitta Air today is one raised by Lord Patel…

‘How do you unload a broken backed immovable 747 in full view of the highway / train track?’


IT'S OFFICIAL!! Mainstream Media ‘Silly Season’ now extends from January through to December

Some personally selected highlights from the characteristically level-headed, objective and fact-packed mainstream media coverage of the chilling exploits of the Bacofoil Bomber…

The Daily Mail

“Police suspect the terrorists who built the bomb, and two similar devices found at the scene, thought they would have been powerful enough to blow out the front of the restaurant - causing untold death and injury”

= an absolute classic IMHO and worth re-reading and thinking about a couple of times

“One friend, 17-year- old Alli Turner, said: 'When the Twin Towers happened he would constantly watch it on repeat.”

That would be when Bacofoil Boy was fifteen – and five years before his conversion

The Telegraph

"If it had gone up it would certainly have caused a huge fireball and the idea that this was happening in a family restaurant packed with children is awful."

AKA ‘Ah well, until the next real bomb goes off we’ll just have do the terrorists work for them by imagining and writing whatever baby-strewn carnage-scenarios we can come up with

"Detectives believe Mr Reilly planned to commit suicide and allegedly had help in constructing three "rudimentary but viable" bombs that had never been seen in Britain before. They were constructed from sodium hydroxide, aluminium foil strips and an essential oil, combined with kerosene.”

An intriguing Americanism there - later reports/ stories have started referring to paraffin

The scent of TERROR!! - specially formulated for people who want their bombs to smell nice

The Press Association – via Yahoo

“Investigators suspect the place where Reilly tried to set off the bomb, a backroom toilet, was chosen to maximise the impact of the device and two others found nearby.”

Some loons might think that a backroom toilet would be the last place someone would choose to 'maximise the impact of the device' – but the chillingly devastating results speak for themselves

The Guardian/ Observer

“Rafiq said the grooming of vulnerable people for suicide missions was well documented in the Middle East and claimed that there had been cases of terrorist organisations hacking patient health records to identify the vulnerable.”

Would that be ‘terrorist organisations’ like this bunch?

“But there is incredulity that such tactics could possibly be employed in one of the sleepier parts of the UK. More worrying is that the threat of terrorism appears to be spreading across the UK. 'The government has been focusing on major cities, so it makes sense for extremists to move into other regions,' Rafiq said.”

A virtually infinite number of possible scenarios make sense – it doesn’t mean that they happen though.

For example, it would also make sense for terrorists to get jobs working in mainstream journalism writing hysterical speculative stories designed to scare the crap out of people.

Of course, that would be just loon talk.

Unlike speculation that highly-trained jihadists are hiding out in the Shires – that’s rational

...the almost perfect hiding place for hordes of brown-skinned terror bastards

And top marks too for all the subliminal passing references to rucksacks, the Evil Internet, travelling on buses, potential suspects slipping through poor old MI5’s under-funded fingers and other chilling parallels with 7/7 which have featured in virtually all of the articles published thus far


Even if you were to discount any speculation of possible flaws and inconsistencies in the official narratives of 7/7, or even 9/11, the fact that our mainstream press, shamelessly stoked up by politicians and the security establishment, wets its pants in its eagerness to overstate and exaggerated the capabilities of the shadowy Legions of TERROR just screams out that the objectives of the terrorists and the establishment are exactly the fucking same


Friday, May 23, 2008

Exeter Bomb 'Not Scary Enough' Brown tells MI5

Fans of this now classic
Daily Mash headline...

may detect certain parallels with yesterday's/ today's mainstream news choices...

No doubt, Devon and the entire South Coast of Britain narrowly avoided complete vaporisation by the merest fluke of good chance. This is yet another vindication for the kind of changes which need to be made to the liberty-security balance of our society by a very reluctant government and security establishment

It's also worth noting that this latest loser, mentalist, recent convert to Islamofascism is...
  • White
  • Described by people who know him as being not the kind of person they'd expect to commit a terrorist act
  • Very keen on computers
sounds like anyone you know?

The sooner these white, computer loving, apparently non-violent types are deported back to Pakistan the better

and if anyone does have any important information, especially any pictures, from the Exeter attack please get in touch with the BBC immediately so that your material, and maybe you, can be properly dealt with...


Our arse is grass

When I was a kid I remember reading a book by that grumpy climate change 'denier' Nigel Calder which included an insight that struck me as being quite clever at the time

Calder argued that if you were viewing the Earth from space the dominant life form on our planet would appear to be grass

Rice, wheat, corn, it’s all grass

And that grass is so fiendishly clever it has contrived to enslave billions of the most sentient creatures on this planet into its service

Humanity has torn down woodlands, scoured the earth for natural resources and utilised some its most advanced science in the service of its insatiable Green Master

And it would be fair to say that our continued existence is a lot more dependent on grass than the level of reliance grass is placing upon us


The reason why we have allowed ourselves to be enslaved in this way is that, with the exception of a few perverse loners who like hanging around hydrothermal vents, all living things on this planet are solar powered

Grass rules because grass enables us to eat starlight

Grass also enables us to eat oil

Humanity has come up with some fabulously elaborate and energy-inefficient ways of turning oil into grass

But oil itself is nothing more than stored sunlight (assuming you believe all that stuff about oil being fossilised fish goo) so the 'all living things are solar powered' generalisation stands


I am a geological sciences graduate and old enough to have studied the subject before it became heavily politicised

And back then, as a general rule of thumb, one of the conclusions you could draw from studying past epochs was that…

Warm Global Climate = Good

Cold Global Climate = Not so good

which is one of the reasons why I am one of those people who blows off the Man Made Global Warming thing. Historically speaking, a little warmer has generally been better for living things than a little cooler and, given that the Earth doesn't keep a rigidly constant temperature anyway, I'd personally rather be alive during one of the upswings than one of the downswings

I'm also one of those climate change 'deniers' who places more store in trivial stuff like how far our planet is away from the Sun, or how active the Sun is at any given point in time, as being just a teensy wee bit more important than the Man Made Global Warming Lobby currently gives it credit for

And, as it happens, it's a lot easier for a beautifully self-balancing system such as our Earth to shed and deal with a little excess solar radiation than to try and whisk up some extra heat if the Sun cools off a bit

With all that in mind, and with the knowledge that low Sun spot activity can be directly correlated with a cold global climate, pictures like this taken of the Sun today concern me in a way that no amount of the global warming poop we've been subjected to thus far ever could...

A spot free Sun - maybe some other stars will go out with it now

Of course, the most reliable way to find out what the global climate is going to be like in five or ten years time would be to phone up a bookmakers and ask for some odds. Unlike lobbyists, scientific or political, bookies only make money when they get things right


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Gary Kasparov vs. UFO

Now that's what I call serious political dialog


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Global problems call for Global Reach-Around!!

I've only just found out about an 'inspirational moment' due to take place in London later this week...

"On Thursday 22nd May, we will mount a unique creative event through the streets of central London - a 3-mile-long "human chain handshake" from the Dalai Lama to the Chinese Embassy.

"Give Peace A Hand" will send a positive global message for meaningful Chinese-Tibetan dialogue before the Olympics. The Metropolitan Police has given it the green light. It'll be an inspirational moment.

But we can't do it without you"

Oooh, the Shadowy Overlords of Finance Capital must be quaking in their boots

Sadly, this three mile long reach-around is now fully booked.

However, given the organisers' solid track record for focusing peoples' minds and efforts on the Real
issues behind impending climate catastrophe, clashes of civilisation and global poverty - without any distractive globalist bullshit - I'm sure they'll be coming up with plenty more handjobs in the future


Monday, May 19, 2008

I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids

It struck me recently that, considering that this is a ‘conspiraloon’’s blog, this site is far too light on UFO-related posts

...because, as we are constantly reminded, belief in UFOs and undead Elvises (Elvi?) follows disbelief in official terrorism narratives as sure as night follows day

My problem is that I've approached the subject of alien space friend visitations with as open a mind as possible in the past but have personally concluded that the evidence available to support the belief in little green/ grey/ purple visitors is on the, um, thin side

And I am amused by the fact that there are quite a few ‘rationalist’, conspiracy theory debunker types out there who are actually sympathetic to the alien UFO thing - off the back of the same Law of (apparently) Very Large Numbers which is used to make Neo-Darwinism look like it adds up.

My opinion is that the really intriguing UFO sightings which appear to have a basis in genuinely unusual events are consistent with covert testing programs and associated disinformation campaigns

The kinds of pre-historic strangeness which have been extensively, and creatively, documented by the likes of Daniken and Hancock do not require hypothetical alien intervention and are consistent with our ancestors being a lot cleverer than we have given them credit for. A misconception
possibly aided by some pre-historic wipe-out event

...all very testable/ researchable imho and not an indication of any kind of lunacy, even if subsequently disproved

What's interesting is that, until relatively recently, very little consideration has been given by UFO buffs and debunkers alike to the possibility that many genuinely unusual sightings may have been of test vehicles

The fact that many of the most interesting UFO sightings have taken place near to military test sites really should have been a bit of a give away

Scooby Doo fans will have a head start in comprehending the possibility that much UFOlogy is actually a deliberate distraction from more terrestrial considerations by simply performing the following substitutions..

Secret gold mine –> Lockheed Martin test facility

Holographic ghost projection device –> Cattle Mutilations

Suspicious looking caretaker seen at the start of every show –> National Security Agency

which is why I'm also of the firm opinion that serious consideration should be given to the possibility that the current global economic crisis might be the work
of ghost pirates and not the banking elite


The reason why I’m raising the subject of UFOs now is that there was some coverage in
the papers and the television last week about declassified British UFO sightings. We also learned that BBC’s Newsnight has a ‘UFO Editor’…

One of the declassified reports, in particular, caught my eye as it mentioned strange sightings over Waterloo Bridge

Years ago, back in the 80's, I used to walk across Waterloo Bridge most nights on the way to work. Occasionally, I would see a vaguely saucer-shaped grouping of coloured flashing lights hovering and moving around in a peculiar fashion over the Thames.

Because it was dark there were very few clues as to how far away or how big the collection of the lights was.

One night I spotted the source of these mysterious sightings... Some bloke standing in an alcove by the Festival Hall, working his highly-customised kite, pissing himself with glee


Two Wings of the same Bird

I've just got back from picking up a few things at my local Tescos. One recent change which has been made to the shop layout caught my eye. The entrance to the supermarket is now flanked by mounds of big boxes of items on special, discount store style; tins of budget baked beans, canned hot dog sausages and Haribo all being sold '2 for one'

Hmmm, sacharine sweetened beans, mechanically recovered pigs’ lips in brine and artificially flavoured gelatine; all available at half price, yum yum

Tescos' highly trained food technicians had obviously put a lot of thought into providing the ingredients for a perfectly balanced, cost-effective, two course meal in these difficult times of high food inflation.

It’s little things like this which give a clue as to how shit life is becoming for people who were already stretched before their food and energy bills started leaping up by 20, 30, 40%


But fret not, our governing political party understands the concerns of its electorate.

To see just how focused the Labour Party is on the real issues I recommend a quick peek at staunch working class warrior Moyra Tamsin Dunwoody-Kneafsey’s campaign page for this week’s Crewe and Nantwich by-election

…where you can see that, in its attempt to turn the local parliamentary seat into an inherited fiefdom, the Labour Party is taking a strong stand against legal immigrants and underclass 'yobs' and demonising people it doesn’t like on the basis of their origins/ accidents of birth

It’s getting quite difficult now, even after exercising all the insight and empathy that I can muster, to understand why anyone still votes for this bunch of hypocritical c**ts


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Ruthlesss Real Estate Marketing - Kiwi Style

I just heard the Mrs laughing hysterically in another room whilst surfing for property in New Zealand

The reason for the laughter was a series of pictures underneath the title 'Nan and Pop are moving on' found on an estate agent's website....

(Oblongs of Anonymity added by Yours Truly)

something tells me that these people are really keen on selling their place


and whilst on the subject of property sales, a subject painfully close to my heart at the moment, a quick maths lesson for the prime minister and journalists...
  • If a £100,000 property increases in value by 180% that property becomes worth £280,000
  • To fall back in value to £100,000 that £280,000 property only has to lose 64% in value

That's the funny thing about percentages - the bigger the number you apply them to the bigger the result.

Most of the media coverage given to recent house price movements seems to be unaware of that little fact

...and it's also worth bearing in mind that a 2.5% fall in a month is equivalent to a 30% fall in a year

This may not come as a surprise to some but our Prime Minister is either innumerate, delusional or a deceitful sack of crap

Another interesting number quirk to bear in mind is that no-one in their right mind, unless they are in desperate need, is going to pay the current market price for a house or any other commodity if they think it is going to fall in value as soon as they've bought it. People are only going to be prepared to pay what they think the eventual bottom price is going to be, less a little bit more to be on the safe side. They are going to be aiming straight for the bottom price and not pissing around gradually paying a little less month on month

The upshot is that when commodity prices collapse, particularly prices driven up by insane levels of speculation, they collapse big and they collapse fast

...and any financial journo-whore who wrote over the last five years about the probability that houses prices would level off and 'plateau' should be given the boot - which would be pretty much all of them

...and as for the media whores parroting the new line which is now being spun, that house price falls are actually a good thing - as they make homes more affordable for first time buyers and reduce 'upgrade' costs for people already on the property ladder, they also need a damned good slapping

The consequence of a house price fall for anyone who has bought a home in the last five to ten years is that they owe a shit load of money to the banks which they'll be paying off for the next 20+ years for which they effectively received nothing in return

First time buyers are still going be locked out of the market by banks refusing them loans and preferring to punt all that public money the government has given them on the commodity and forex markets; effectively driving up the price of everything else except for houses. Potential first time buyers' jobs are also going to be at risk and their costs are also going to rise as a result of people who actually bought homes going to the wall and the impact that will have on the rest of us 'fortunate' enough not to go completely under

Everyone loses

Well, not quite everyone


Essential Tools for Urban Terrorism #47 - A Robot Arm

The nature of the 'evidence' being presented at the 7/7 Conspiracy show trial is now so ridiculous that we are starting to move coverage/ commentary over to the Conspiraloon Alliance blog with all the other dingbat nonsense we post there...

The latest chilling news is that top government scienticians were able, with the aid of a robot arm, to construct an authentic fantamentolist bomb so powerful that it could knock over some plastic boards propped up against a wall...

A 'devastating impact' indeed

The shocking/ devastating/ chilling footage of the infernal device in action is available here


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Voluntary Human Extinction - You Know It Makes Sense

A cheery little video I just stumbled across courtesy of The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement...

Human beings might not be the only species that kills for sport (an ignorant cliche from the same stable as 'religion is the cause of all wars') but it certainly is the only species that is self-aware enough and hates itself enough to contemplate its own eradication


Monday, May 12, 2008

Vote for UK plc - because every little helps

Almost two years ago now I wrote a couple of posts advocating that Tescos either became a political party eligible for national government or that the entire UK, including its population, was incorporated as a public limited company and sold onto Tescos

"Despite being the middle class of Oceanian society, the Outer Party's standard of living is very poor. Foodstuffs are low quality or synthetic; the main alcoholic beverage — Victory Gin — is industrial-grade; Outer Party Victory Cigarettes aren't manufactured properly"

As well as paving the way for exciting new developments in the delivery of essential public services – such as ’Be Good to Yourself’, ‘Standard’ and ‘Value Range’ choices in the provision of health care, education, policing and illegal warfare, a Tesco run administration would also be able to make the wretched national identity card scheme work.

Based on their existing loyalty card scheme, a Tesco National ID card could incorporate a points based reward system which would enable good citizens to earn valuable credits through worthwhile acts which they could subsequently redeem to gain admission into hospitals which won’t kill them or enable them to use their rubbish bins or taps without fear of being tasered. Well, maybe just a little bit

So, naturally enough, I am gratified to read this article in the Daily Telegraph which confirms, yet again, that Conspiraloons such as your truly, are well ahead of the curve when it comes to truly radical and progressive thinking…

Thanks to anon for pointing me towards this article and especially the truly inspirational torrent of foamy-mouthed Conspiraloonatic abuse directed at the political and economic elites in the comments section underneath

Maybe we aren’t the only people who can see after all

If I've said it once I've said it four or five times, once you've tasted Loon there's no going back and our numbers are growing every day


What staring at tits for over 30 years can teach us about climate change

And whilst on the subject of pathological thinking, there’s a recent article in New Scientist which a couple of people have sent me the link to largely, I suspect, because of its excellent title…

Putting aside the fact that average global temperature appears to be currently falling, I have been enjoying the sight of a couple of pairs of tits bouncing around my back yard for the last month or so and, yes, they do seem to be doing well

Apparently, scientists who have been staring at tits for over 30 years have discovered that tits have the uncanny ability to eat their favourite food if it becomes readily available earlier in the year

One would also suspect that tits also have the remarkable ability of eating less of their favourite food if it is not readily available

All of which proves, er, not very much at all

The New Scientist article includes a link to similar high grade research carried out on squirrels…

...which proves that when faced with abundant food supplies squirrels ‘evolve’ in less than four generations into… fat squirrels

This is pseudo-scientific bollocks of the highest quality; combining, as it does, both climate change bollocks and neo-Darwinist bollocks in one seamless, grant application-friendly package

"Because climate change is happening so fast, the perceived wisdom is that mammals won't be able to undergo evolution to keep up with that. But this work offers a little glimmer of hope, at least for some species."

And, as with so much of what passes for rational orthodoxy in the new normal of our post 9/11 world, I keep asking myself did so much of what passes for science these days turn into politicised nonsense recently or has it always been this shite?


Sunday, May 11, 2008

We can’t be the only people who can see

One of the reasons why I keep this blog up, aside from using it as a tool to organise my own thoughts, is to fulfill a basic need to call out to other people and say 'No, you're really not the only person who has doubts about certain things. Hang on in there, you're not alone'

Pre Internet, it was starting to get very easy to think that you were on your own. The newspapers and television decided what was, or wasn't, fair game for questioning and ridicule. And, as the ownership and control of the newspaper and media fell under the influence of a smaller and smaller number of interests, the scope for questioning and ridicule became correspondingly smaller and smaller

Sooner or later, probably sooner, the Internet is going to have be dealt with but for a while anyway something approximating to free speech reins. The fascinating thing is just how sensitive and paranoid the mainstream press is about not so lone voices calling out to each other.

The numbers of people involved are relatively small, certainly peanuts in comparison with a mainstream TV news broadcast but what interesting and potentially troublesome people they sometimes are


One of the most obvious and pressing examples of limits being imposed on what is ridiculed and questioned is the establishment narrative on the war on terror. Virtually no-one, even on the net, is daring to call out...

'hang on a minute, this is bollocks isn't it?'

Anyone who has been following the recent UK terror show trials and taken even just a little time out to look at the source material, rather than rely on the headlines and the deceptive copy underneath those headlines, runs the very real risk of concluding that there is something seriously wrong with the picture which is being painted

Taking a BBC report of the current 7/7 Conspiracy trial for example...

"In a separate conversation with police, Mohammed Shakil said that he had been friends with Mohammed Siddique Khan through his twenties when the pair had drunk alcohol and smoked cannabis together. Mr Shakil told Detective Constable David McIntyre that he "could not think in his wildest dreams" why his friend had gone on to become a suicide bomber. Khan had expressed resentment about the situation in Pakistan and Iraq, but not in an extreme manner, said Mr Shakil. The Leeds man said that Khan had not been a particularly devout Muslim. In contrast, he considered himself a practising Muslim who denounced suicide bombings..."

"Neil Flewitt QC, prosecuting, told the jury that Waheed Ali and Mohammed Shakil were making plans to travel to Pakistan, including buying equipment from camping or outdoor shops. Items included a Swiss Army knife, water purification tablets and secure body wallets, described by the observing police officer as a covert body pouch.

When police officers stopped Mr Ali near a shop in the departures terminal, he replied: "I was only going to get some chocolate."

The case continues"

The viciously-named Victorinox 'Picknicker' pocket WMD - complete with twirly bit perfect for mixing up energetic compounds.

The press is constantly full of stuff like this, to the exclusion of anything that corresponds to objectivity or a sense of proportion or common sense. Our mainstream media is Institutionally Dissonant and apparently has no problem whatsoever in reporting tales of...

  • Dead suicide fanatics who don't appear to have been fanatics, or suicidal

  • Dead Al Qaeda supporting suicide fanatics who appear to have believed that Al Qaeda is sponsored by the CIA

  • Endless talk of well-funded sophisticated international terror networks who seem to only employ incompetent losers in bedsits and MI5/MI6 connected gasbags

  • Endless talk of well-funded sophisticated international terror networks being close to securing atom bombs and killer robots but which are making do with Lucozade and Chapatti flour in the meantime

and so on and so on

And it's all reported/ repeated with a straight face, without the slightest suggestion of a reality check and usually with the word 'chilling' stuck at the front for good measure

It's not chilling. It's bollocks

What is scary is that, unlike some of the really hardcore conspira-lunatics out there, I'm not convinced that the majority of journalists, policemen, terror consultants and politicians pushing this hyped-up bullshit are consciously part of a huge establishment conspiracy

For a starters, it really would be impossible to keep such a huge network secret

For seconds, if there was a huge establishment network consciously manufacturing the war on terror myth it would be doing a much better job of it and wouldn't have to make do with so much bollocks

We'd see some
really damning video footage, real bombs and guns would be displayed in court as evidence, there would be records of really incriminating financial transactions, discovery of real domestic terror camps; masses of material which would silence the handful of sceptics once and for all

but there ain't

In the same way that some real WMDs weren't planted in Iraq after the invasion, there are limits to what kinds of evidence can or can't be, um, 'introduced' into the public domain. The limits are present due to the fact that, surprising as it may sound, the vast majority of people, even those who work in the security services or media are probably, more or less, honest - very probably duped but not willfully wicked.

It's one thing to have someone disappear a few embarrassing CCTV tapes, it's an altogether riskier exercise to start whisking up some fake tapes of your own

Whilst personally I have little doubt that conscious conspiracy does lie at the heart of the war on terror paradigm I don't believe for a second that the majority of people playing along with that paradigm know that it is a lie.

I remember chatting with one of the most analytically capable, well with numbers anyway, guys I've ever met shortly after the 9/11 attacks. He was repeating a story he'd read about some of the alleged 9/11 hijackers drinking in the 'Pink Pony' lap dance bar shortly before 9/11 and even going so far as to leave a copy of the Koran in the bar behind them.

The guy telling me this story bought the official 9/11 narrative. I didn't. I asked him if he thought that fanatical Muslims who were about to commit suicide for Islam really would spend one of their last few nights on Earth getting drunk in a titty bar and disrespecting their sacred book.

His answer, delivered in a very smug, patronising manner, was '
Ah, but what you don't understand is that these men are trained to blend in with Western society'

It was then, very early on in the post 9/11 world, that I realised that people, even people who could pass off as being very clever people, are capable of believing any old shit provided you've softened their brains up adequately beforehand

To have any realistic chance of duping large numbers of people into buying into a myth that myth is going to made up of no more than 5% conspiracy and 95%+ pathology.

And if you are really clever, and control enough of the media, that myth will take on a life of its own


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The Conspiraloon Manifesto

And whilst on the subject of Troof Seekers and Conspiraloonery, last week’s defeats for our governing political party gave rise to multiple threads/ discussions all over the InterTut asking just why it is the Labour Party received such a kicking

Amusingly, if you read you'll find yourself thinking that the number one reason was the recent smoking ban. A lot of working class Labour supporters were really f**ked off about that one

Personally, I think we’re witnessing something slightly more significant than a smokers’ revolt at work here

What we’re witnessing is the expiry of a long-outdated political fairy tale which cannot even pretend to explain how the world works any more

The fairy tale in question is the nonsense that people can be roughly split into two carefully, pre-prepared political belief systems called ‘Left’ and ‘Right’ and that all the really big stuff that goes on in the world happens more or less by accident

And, sooner, or later if you do keep pretending that stuff like the price of food or botched occupations of other peoples’ countries are essentially the product of mistakes, accidents and uncontrollable forces you come to a point where you have to shrug your shoulders and admit that you understand, and therefore can do, fuck all about fuck all

Conspiraloons on the other hand, whilst not blind to the hand of the Earth Mother and stochastic forces, do believe that a fair old bit of the shit inflicted on us is either deliberate wickedness or a by-product of deliberate wickedness; usually on the part of people who have accumulated so much money and power that they are plain bonkers

The thing is, if you are a Conspiraloon who believes that the world is being deliberately moulded to serve the interests of finance capital and The Few and that threats such as terrorism and global warming are being hyped up to assist that moulding process, you can easily knock-out an enormous manifesto of positive change that could be implemented to make the world a better place for 99.99% of us

And crucially, much, if not all of that manifesto could be formulated in a way that totally ignored Left vs. Right, divide and rule bullshit

A few examples off the top of my head…
  • Cease the creation of hyper-inflationary quantities of worthless money
  • Legislate against speculators fucking around with the prices of essential commodities, especially food, by implementing a simple requirement that anyone buying food, or oil, or whatever forward is actually in the food, or oil, or whatever, business.

    (There are plenty of operators in commodity markets who are driving future prices up but who always sell-on their holdings before they have to accept physical delivery. It really would be amusing to see someone delivering 10,000 tons of grain or rice outside the head office of a London or New York based hedge fund every once in a while)
  • Withdraw forces from Iraq – the argument that we have a moral obligation to stay until things somehow get better is profoundly flawed. No-one would advocate that a wife-beater should continue living with his Mrs until they work things out. Well, no-one I know anyway
  • End private monopolies over essential utilities such as water
  • End public subsidy of private monopolies
  • Bring in legislation and a tax regime which favours creation of mutual financial institutions
  • Apply the same ludicrously low burden of proof and high sentencing to political and corporate corruption as is currently applied to terror suspects
  • Make honesty pay. Create financial incentives for the investigation and conviction of political and corporate corruption - in the same way that people who investigate low-level benefit and tax fraud are given incentives
  • Open up a few dozen new coal mines, quickly
  • Apply and grant public access to the same level of surveillance and data mining applied to politicians and corporations as is applied to ordinary, law abiding citizens. Scrap any system or law which does not apply equally to citizenry and establishment
  • Inclusion of ‘None of the Above’ as a candidate in all elections. Election of ‘NotA’ would automatically trigger a new election from which all previous candidates are barred
  • For every new law made, scrap at least two

You could carry on all day. It would practically write itself

Alternatively, you could stick with non-Loon views and keep supporting the current political paradigm and politicians who when faced with widespread public concern about crippling inflation, the gradual meltdown of our financial system, the costly consequences of pre-emptive wars of aggression and the seemingly endless erosion of civil liberties come up with this blinding solution to all those concerns…

Sounds like the mother of all election winners to me


Kneel before Zod!!

'Truth' mashup videos are two a penny on the Internet these days and I find myself grazing through an awful lot of them

Many of the vids aren't that well made and betray the lack of experience and judgment of their producers whose average age is, I suspect, about 15

Still, it's truly heartening to know that at least some kids aren't spending
all their time fiddling with themselves and playing GTA. An 80:20 Self-Abuse to Truth Video production ratio seems like a reasonable and sustainable balance to aim for

OK, maybe 90:10

And even though the genre is relatively young, many Truth mashup videos already tend towards cliche and seem to be made on the understanding that inclusion of All Seeing Eyes, Pyramids and clips from old Sci-Fi movies is mandatory

I love ASEs, hierarchical symbolism and John Carpenter flicks as much as the next Loon and understand why people refer to them but the problem is that by doing so those people line themselves for the accusation that they have trouble confusing reality, whatever th f**k that is, with movies

Does a video which seeks to communicate the fact that every US President and British Prime Minister of the last few years has had a hard-on for the expression 'New World Order' communicate its message any better because it includes clips from Superman which also refer to a NWO?

Unless those clips are being used as part of a parody, I'm not sure that it does

It's infotaining enough though, particularly if you throw in a New (World) Order backing track...


Sunday, May 04, 2008

Boris Johnson - quaking in his Nikes

Remember, this guy is an idiot, just like other idiots such as George Bush and Tony Blair. Everything this guy will do in office will be because he is an idiot and not because it is part of any coherent portfolio of elitist objectives.
Do not forget that, ever

There's a point I've tried to develop in a couple of posts about the recent London mayorial election which goes something like this...

Now that it is likely some Tories are going to get re-elected to high office, all sorts of allegedly Left Wing, Liberal, Libertarian and Progressive types are going to start noticing all sorts of disgraceful things which have been in plain view for the better part of 10 years or more

... not that this crowd is any better equipped to comprehend these disgraceful things than when these things were 'invisible'

Anyone who would like to participate in this magical discovery of disgraceful things which will become visible now that the Tories will start to administer them could do a lot worse than starting with this new site...

...inspired presumably by the phenomenally successful Blair Watch site which managed to reduce war criminal Tony Blair's tenure as Prime Minister to a humiliatingly short ten years; through a carefully crafted strategy of effectively supporting the Nu Labour party, regardless

For their sakes I hope that the people who will comment on Boris Watch can manage to avoid espousing any thoughts or observations which sound like conspiracy theories (i.e. anything based on the premise that extremely rich people sometimes get together to fuck over less rich people) otherwise they'll end up accusing each other of being mental


People believe the most peculiar things

A couple of points arising during and as a result of an exchange of fire underneath my recent post about the current '7/7' show trial...

We all know, because we are repeatedly reminded, that everyone who doubts Official Narratives is a bit mental and open to believing the most inconsistent, contradictory and irrational bollocks going if that is a quality which is solely restricted to people who are sceptical of establishment narratives

I spent several years auditing and preparing financial accounts for publicly quoted companies and it still amazes me that people are deluded enough use them as a measure to decide where to invest their life savings

but there you go, tee hee, that's people for you

anyhoo, here's a comment I made underneath my last 7/7 trial post and another that I could have made...


I don't pretend know where the bombs were but even the authorities now admit that they weren't attached to the alleged bombers

this is no small thing as suicide bombers ordinarily adopt suicidal tactics because they are the only means open to them to deliver their bombs

clearly this wasn't the case on 7/7 - the bombers could have walked away

on top of that, how many people are going to seriously buy into the idea that the alleged 7/7 bombers went around tossing their ID all over the carriages before setting off their devices?

total f**king nonsense


Per the Official 7/7 Narrative - Point 41...

"As yet little material has been found directly from the others expressing their motivation. There is some evidence that Tanweer was motivated particularly by a desire for martyrdom. As described earlier, there are reports of Hussain and Lindsay expressing extreme views at school. Conspiracy theories also abounded, at least some of the bombers seem to have expressed the view that the 9/11 attacks were a plot by the US."

The moral of Point 41 being...
  • People who believe in conspiracies are likely to perpetrate them

  • People who believe the US Government carried out 911, and therefore mistrust Al Qaeda and bin Laden, will praise Al Qaeda and ObL and carry out attacks in their name

Anyone who believes this guff and can manage to hold it in their head without suffering a really bad migraine can kiss my hairy sceptical arse


Saturday, May 03, 2008

Hooray for Bojo!

So, Johnson it is then

Excellent news

Maybe now, after ten long years of having their heads up their arses, alleged Left Wingers might start to recognize fascism when they see it

Because, apparently, if the Labour party embroils this country in hegemonistic wars, turns over essential pubic services to corrupt private contractors, kisses criminal oligarch arse, trashes centuries old rights and liberties and tapes CCTV cameras to our grannies that is NOT fascism

So, maybe if the Tories take over responsibility for administering all this stuff maybe a few more people will f**king well wake up

The members of the political class, from either side of the fake divide, have a lot more in common with each other than with the people they supposedly represent but there are still are plenty of Muppets out there who still don't get it

Johnson is a Tory alright, through and through, and he is clever, ambitious and, I suspect, capable of ruthlessness

So, who are the buffoons? Johnson or the people who thought that repeatedly accusing him of being an idiot was a winning strategy?


Best Wikipedia entry ever!?

just like the Fortean Times but cheaper...

I'll be plundering this for months

Japanese Toilet Bidet


Friday, May 02, 2008

Ciao Ken, it's been wonderful

Immediately after the 7/7 bombings Ken Livingstone made a speech which, aside from the usual egocentric self-promotion, veered dangerously towards the statesmanlike and the humane...

"I want to say one thing specifically to the world today. This was not a terrorist attack against the mighty and the powerful. It was not aimed at Presidents or Prime Ministers. It was aimed at ordinary, working-class Londoners, black and white, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Jew, young and old. It was an indiscriminate attempt to slaughter, irrespective of any considerations for age, for class, for religion, or whatever.

That isn't an ideology, it isn't even a perverted faith - it is just an indiscriminate attempt at mass murder and we know what the objective is. They seek to divide Londoners. They seek to turn Londoners against each other."

I almost respected him for a moment

but aside from that it's been business as usual under cuddly Ken...
  • money spunked on monstrously crooked public-private 'partnerships'

  • that fraudulent Olympic bid

  • the ridiculous congestion charge which has achieved very little aside from lining contractors' pockets and making the roads a little less congested for the rich

  • outright graft and corruption, not least the supremely dodgy Brixton Base project. I can, wait for it (reaches for camera), see the now empty 'Base' out of my front window and I believe that, twat that he is, Andrew Gilligan sussed it out pretty fair and square

The Brixton money pit

  • and, above all, the pure and simple arrogance of power. Anyone who has watched the contempt with which Livingstone has treated the elected assembly to which he should have been accountable should have been appalled at his behaviour

I can honestly say the time I took out of my day to vote against Livingstone yesterday was one of the most rewarding ways I have found to spend fifteen minutes of my life

even my local (Labour) MP thinks Ken's a twunt

this 'at least Labour's better than the Tories' crap doesn't wash any more, even if it ever did, which I doubt very much.

In many, many ways, the current shower of bastards have managed to outshine even Thatchler

The Labour party died and was resurrected as a zombie puppet fifteen or more years ago and it's about time a few more people realised that

Bye bye Ken. It's looking like (fingers crossed) you're unemployed now but something tells me that you won't be short of a bob or two


and in related news, here's that clip of Richard Littlejohn bitchslapping that most supremely annoying of Champagne Socialists/ Limousine Liberals Polly Toynbee - as great an enemy of ordinary people as any Tory grandee or fascistic rabble rouser...

When it comes to a toss-up between the likes of Littlejohn or Toynbee I definitely choose neither