The Conspiraloon Manifesto

And whilst on the subject of Troof Seekers and Conspiraloonery, last week’s defeats for our governing political party gave rise to multiple threads/ discussions all over the InterTut asking just why it is the Labour Party received such a kicking




Amusingly, if you read Labour.org you'll find yourself thinking that the number one reason was the recent smoking ban. A lot of working class Labour supporters were really f**ked off about that one

Personally, I think we’re witnessing something slightly more significant than a smokers’ revolt at work here

What we’re witnessing is the expiry of a long-outdated political fairy tale which cannot even pretend to explain how the world works any more

The fairy tale in question is the nonsense that people can be roughly split into two carefully, pre-prepared political belief systems called ‘Left’ and ‘Right’ and that all the really big stuff that goes on in the world happens more or less by accident

And, sooner, or later if you do keep pretending that stuff like the price of food or botched occupations of other peoples’ countries are essentially the product of mistakes, accidents and uncontrollable forces you come to a point where you have to shrug your shoulders and admit that you understand, and therefore can do, fuck all about fuck all

Conspiraloons on the other hand, whilst not blind to the hand of the Earth Mother and stochastic forces, do believe that a fair old bit of the shit inflicted on us is either deliberate wickedness or a by-product of deliberate wickedness; usually on the part of people who have accumulated so much money and power that they are plain bonkers




The thing is, if you are a Conspiraloon who believes that the world is being deliberately moulded to serve the interests of finance capital and The Few and that threats such as terrorism and global warming are being hyped up to assist that moulding process, you can easily knock-out an enormous manifesto of positive change that could be implemented to make the world a better place for 99.99% of us

And crucially, much, if not all of that manifesto could be formulated in a way that totally ignored Left vs. Right, divide and rule bullshit

A few examples off the top of my head…

• Cease the creation of hyper-inflationary quantities of worthless money

• Legislate against speculators fucking around with the prices of essential commodities, especially food, by implementing a simple requirement that anyone buying food, or oil, or whatever forward is actually in the food, or oil, or whatever, business.
  
  (There are plenty of operators in commodity markets who are driving future prices up but who always sell-on their holdings before they have to accept physical delivery. It really would be amusing to see someone delivering 10,000 tons of grain or rice outside the head office of a London or New York based hedge fund every once in a while)

• Withdraw forces from Iraq – the argument that we have a moral obligation to stay until things somehow get better is profoundly flawed. No-one would advocate that a wife-beater should continue living with his Mrs until they work things out. Well, no-one I know anyway

• End private monopolies over essential utilities such as water

• End public subsidy of private monopolies

• Bring in legislation and a tax regime which favours creation of mutual financial institutions
  

• Apply the same ludicrously low burden of proof and high sentencing to political and corporate corruption as is currently applied to terror suspects

• Make honesty pay. Create financial incentives for the investigation and conviction of political and corporate corruption - in the same way that people who investigate low-level benefit and tax fraud are given incentives

• Open up a few dozen new coal mines, quickly

• Apply and grant public access to the same level of surveillance and data mining applied to politicians and corporations as is applied to ordinary, law abiding citizens. Scrap any system or law which does not apply equally to citizenry and establishment

• Inclusion of ‘None of the Above’ as a candidate in all elections. Election of ‘NotA’ would automatically trigger a new election from which all previous candidates are barred

• For every new law made, scrap at least two

You could carry on all day. It would practically write itself

Alternatively, you could stick with non-Loon views and keep supporting the current political paradigm and politicians who when faced with widespread public concern about crippling inflation, the gradual meltdown of our financial system, the costly consequences of pre-emptive wars of aggression and the seemingly endless erosion of civil liberties come up with this blinding solution to all those concerns…



Sounds like the mother of all election winners to me

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