Monday, May 12, 2008

Vote for UK plc - because every little helps

Almost two years ago now I wrote a couple of posts advocating that Tescos either became a political party eligible for national government or that the entire UK, including its population, was incorporated as a public limited company and sold onto Tescos

"Despite being the middle class of Oceanian society, the Outer Party's standard of living is very poor. Foodstuffs are low quality or synthetic; the main alcoholic beverage — Victory Gin — is industrial-grade; Outer Party Victory Cigarettes aren't manufactured properly"

As well as paving the way for exciting new developments in the delivery of essential public services – such as ’Be Good to Yourself’, ‘Standard’ and ‘Value Range’ choices in the provision of health care, education, policing and illegal warfare, a Tesco run administration would also be able to make the wretched national identity card scheme work.

Based on their existing loyalty card scheme, a Tesco National ID card could incorporate a points based reward system which would enable good citizens to earn valuable credits through worthwhile acts which they could subsequently redeem to gain admission into hospitals which won’t kill them or enable them to use their rubbish bins or taps without fear of being tasered. Well, maybe just a little bit

So, naturally enough, I am gratified to read this article in the Daily Telegraph which confirms, yet again, that Conspiraloons such as your truly, are well ahead of the curve when it comes to truly radical and progressive thinking…

Thanks to anon for pointing me towards this article and especially the truly inspirational torrent of foamy-mouthed Conspiraloonatic abuse directed at the political and economic elites in the comments section underneath

Maybe we aren’t the only people who can see after all

If I've said it once I've said it four or five times, once you've tasted Loon there's no going back and our numbers are growing every day



Anonymous said...

Editorial intelligence must be understaffed today - only a couple of positive comments on there!

Particularly like the concentration camps stuff.

Stef said...

Methinks the pulsating brains behind the New Commentariat have their hands a tad full in the wake of Mr Fawkes giving them a bit of an outing

rumbled They be

Stef said...

btw It's always worth remembering not to confuse Editorial Intelligence and 'The New Commentariat' with Common Purpose

they're totally different


Anonymous said...

The problem I have with guido is, yeah he's got a blog and he's quite outspoken, but ultimetly he's just another party political hack fighting the same old battles.

Still, if there's one thing that can unite all good people, its the pleasure of seeing Polly Toynbee flay into irrelevence.

Stef said...

yes, yes he is

plus a large proportion of his commentators are just a teensy wee bit bigoted and, amongst other gems, subscribe to that Protocols of the Elders of Islam crap about there being a plot to impose Sharia law on the entire Western World

When I start seeing a few Islamo Fantamentolists running the banks, the newspapers, the security forces and all the other arms of the establishment or even actually hear some actual Muslims, rather than some Whiteboy faux Liberals, calling for the abolition of Christmas I might start giving that notion some consideration. In the meantime, it's racist bollocks

Guido does however irritate the shit out of the droids who insist on supporting the Labour government regardless of its crimes and he therefore can make for excellent spectator sport

plus some of his regular commentators are staunch Loons who rise above the party political con game

Tony said...

I once heard a proverb that went something like this: "The common people think wrong but feel right"

Anonymous said...

Some more quality conspiraloonery on here -

All this was planned. Just as the 1907 "depression" was staged so as to bring on the Federal Reserve and Income Tax (1913).

The Depression was planned as well. The banks KNEW 10% margin on stocks would drive the prices. They, the "banks", cut off the credit, but only AFTER they sold out. JP Morgan went into the Depression with 100% cash. How did they know?

The depression was to destroy any non-Federal Reserve bank and to get gold out of the hands of the public.

What is happening now is to establish the One World Currency. You can't tell me these "economists" and "bankers" didn't know that 1% and 2% home mortgage rates would not drive up asset prices? They didn't know that 100% and even 120% Loan-to-Value loans wouldn't cause this mess? IT WAS INTENTIONAL.

The cry is going to come from the bankers for a single world currency (owned and printed by them). Just wait. This is all so obvious.

Anonymous said...

Whenever I go to Tesco, I get a feeling of stepping into Pasolini's Salò - people being forced to eat their own excrement and such.

(Much weirdness surrounds Pasolini. His continuing relevance, his murder, his murderer's recent retraction).

Anonymous said...

Looks like I've had a spot of cryptomnesia (sp?), 'cos, "The coprophagia scenes in Salò were described by him as being a comment on the processed food industry."

(I must've read this before).

Apologies for the thicky-pedia link but academic papers are enclosed by copyright.

Stef said...

cheers for the pointer to Pasolini - I'd forgotten about him

Pasolini generated heated public discussion with controversial analyses of public affairs. For instance, during the disorders of 1969, when the autonomist university students were carrying on a guerrilla-like uprising against the police in the streets of Rome and all the leftist forces declared their complete support for the students, describing the disorders as a civil fight of proletariat against the System, Pasolini, alone among the communists, declared that he was with the police; or, more precisely, with the policemen. He considered them true proletariat, sent to fight for a poor salary and for reasons which they could not understand, against pampered boys of their same age, because they had not had the fortune of being able to study, referring to poliziotti figli di proletari meridionali picchiati da figli di papà in vena di bravate, lit. policemen, sons of proletarian southerners, beaten up by arrogant daddy's boys)...

Stef said...

...I know a few guys who did national service in the Carabinieri in the late 60s/ early 70s and they maintain that it was official policy to station southern conscripts in the north and vice versa.

The idea being, obviously, to ensure that the police and the people they were policing had as little in common as possible

Antipholus Papps said...

They say you get more right wing as you get older, but recently I've been reading the Telegraph letters page and saying to myself: "yes, that's absolutely right". This is terrifying. Sure, I tell myself it's all for the sake of laughing at Major Widdrington of Tunbridge Wells and his lament about how the MCC allowing blue uniforms surely signifies the collapse of Judeo-Christian civilisation as we know it, but it seems as if the Telegraph comments board is the best recruiting ground for the revolution. I feel less ashamed of my country when I read Major Widdrington saying "it's V for Vendetta time!"