Sunday, February 24, 2008


Sadly, I'm going to be deprived of an Internet connection for the next few days which means that I may miss the next exciting, well maybe exciting is the wrong word, sequel to the little, um, situation mentioned in my previous post :(

And, as usual, I will punctuate a posting hiatus by slapping up some links to assorted old tat sitting in my bookmarks folder…

Exhibit A - Max, 19, hits the road.

A fine example of the dead tree press harnessing the power of new media and the Internet to branch out into e-nepotism - to rapturous acclaim from a series of delighted and inventively abusive commentators (comments are now closed). Skip the article, read the abuse

(I must admit to some slight prejudice here as I'm a lot older than 19 and live on a reclaimed marsh in South London)

Exhibit B – Catholic Costumes for Children

"Aside from the obvious Catholic reasons, we are absolutely horrified at the costumes that are being offered this season. Want to dress your little girl like a street walker or jail bait? Perhaps you'd like to encourage pedophilia. This company has the solution."

As soon as they start doing a pre-teen Alexander VI costume my first order definitely goes in

And in fairness to Catholic Costumes for Children they do link to some pretty fucked up stuff available elsewhere – even Woolworths are getting in on the paedo-frenzy

See also: ‘Papist or Rapist’ - A photo quiz that's a lot harder than it should be which comes with the following disclaimer - 'This is all meant as a bit of fun and I did go to the trouble of researching these images, but I would hate to piss anyone off, so if you appear here as a sex offender, or worse still, if you appear as a member of the Roman Catholic church, then let me know and I will rectify the situation immediately. Likewise, if you look a bit dodgy and think that you should have been included for one of the categories and can substantiate your claim to either being a working member of the appropriate faith or a convicted sex offender then I will be happy to consider your application.'

Exhibit C – Flickr Photo streams which have caught my eye

This photo and it’s surrounding stream are interesting...

As is this stream...

But not this one...

Exhibit D – Most apathetic demonstrator ever?

Anti BNP demo today…

Exhibit E - Quizmania (No Legs Caller)

Er, that’s enough Exhibits for now

Intermission begins…


Saturday, February 23, 2008

Sue me!

A little update on a couple of earlier posts on the subject of TERROR!! consultant Peter Power

It would seem that Peter, or someone claiming to be Peter, is upset at some of the things people are writing about him and has left a comment under a post on LWTC247's blog.

Power's comment and LWTC247's reply
are worth a read...

"...If this modern economic/political and religious beast along with its apparatchiks take legal against me, even if it results in a custodial sentence then so be it. I have already recognised and accepted that it will take political sacrifice to bring about the removal of this dreadful rotten situation that lies before us today. I hope any action you take against me would inspire others to see the parts of this beast, and rally strongly against it. Even if it doesn’t, I have the eternal personal satisfaction and sense of pride that I stood up against that I believe is a serious malignancy in the human race today..."

Nicely put...

On one level this is a very courageous position to take. On another, if you believe that there is a logical extrapolation of the direction our society is being directed in, it is also the most rational option - better to make a stand now whilst there is still some semblance of freedom, rather than wait a few years and the very real prospect of a wet towel over your face and a nightstick up your arse.


Friday, February 22, 2008

The UK goes murder-crazy!!

...because 'necrophiliac' is just too darned difficult to spell

Still, a frenzied deathporn Friday makes an interesting change from all that boring Northern Rock stuff...

Bruce Forsyth is 80


Today's reading from The Good Book

Chapter. 35

"Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen, and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved as good as his word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words 'A Share' on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain that won the envy and admiration of virtually everyone who knew him."


I'm quite disappointed that someone more artistically gifted than me hasn't circulated a new look Northern Rock share certificate on the Internet yet - but the day is still young I suppose...


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Northern Crock - What Exactly Is Going On?

There's a fascinating discussion going on over at Housepricecrash Forum on the subject of the nationalisation of all the crap in Northern Rock's balance sheet, whilst most of anything that's worth anything has already been spoken for by a...

"not incompetent cartel of banks making a killing from the whole thing"

The discussion starts off with a summary of the Northern Rock scam and then, if you have a financial turn of mind, gets funnier and funnier as one of the commentators goes off and roots around the financial statements of a series of mortally wounded banks and returns to the forum with a list of dodgy securitisation vehicles used by each of those banks to fuck you and me

Remember, boys and girls, no-one in the banks, regulators or government saw a banking crisis coming; it's the Hidden Hand of the market at work and no-one is to blame

Non-conspiracy theorists - I shit on them


A cautionary tale for anyone using Blogger...


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Illustrated Adventures of Vince Cable - redux

Cheers to anon for pointing me towards this

edit: Lord P. waxing lyrical on Vince's adventures


Tubby F*cker

A photo of one of the woodies which hang around the back of my place doing a very passable Alisher Usmanov impression...

I think I might lay off leaving out kitchen scraps for a while


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Official Press Release from the Conspiraloon™ Alliance

The text of an official press release issued by the Conspiraloon™ Alliance earlier today...

"It is with a heavy heart that we at the Conspiraloon™ Alliance feel the need to issue a public announcement distancing ourselves from recent statements made by honorary Alliance member Mohamed Al-Fayed

Whilst giving evidence at London's Royal Courts of Justice at the inquest into the death of his son Dodi and Diana, Princess of Wales, Mr Al-Fayed made a series of allegations identifying a number of senior public figures; including Prince Philip and former Prime Minister Tony Blair, as being murdering Nazi scum involved in a gigantic Establishment conspiracy. Outside the court, Mr Al Fayed did not halt his invective. Asked by the BBC's royal correspondent Peter Hunt whether he was lying, the Harrods owner shot back: "You work for MI6, you idiot!

Mr Al-Fayed, stricken by grief at the loss of his son, has clearly boarded the last train to Funkytown and is no longer able to distinguish between fact and fantasy

BBC royal correspondents work for MI5

We wish Mr Al-Fayed a speedy recovery and the swift return of all his faculties"

Unlike Mr Al-Fayed I personally have every confidence in the objectivity and outcomes of Official British Inquiries and my only regret is that this all-too short inquest simply didn't have enough time to get to the bottom of the peculiar, and illegal, collapse of Paul Burrell's trial or end the rumours about an exceptionally dodgy (and missing) dossier Princess Diana had compiled on her beloved husband's hobbies which even my dear old mum, someone who has never connected to the Internet in her life, has heard about

Best Royal Portrait ever?


Saturday, February 16, 2008

Your most magnificent toy ever, unleashed amongst women with a vengeance

And whilst on the subject of individuals subverting Internet institutions, the subject of Jane Standley came up in a comment underneath my last post

Jane Standley is, of course, one of the BBC’s new breed of psychic-journalists who reported the collapse of WTC7 on 9/11 on live television half an hour before WTC7 fell down…

…and the only reason why we can’t see WTC7 collapse behind Jane is that her signal was abruptly, and fortuitously, cut a few seconds before the building actually dropped

All familiar stuff

What did amuse me today was noticing this suggested link on Youtube after watching a video of a prank call someone made to BBC Radio…

Yup, someone calling him/herself ‘
FreePornForEveryone’ has uploaded Jane’s video with the caption ‘Funny Clip!! Must See!!’ into Yahoo’s ‘Entertainment’ section. FPfE’s tagging is also a joy to behold, including as it does reference to Axxo (the most prolific, and most revered, movie pirate in Torrentland), lonelygirl15 and shit loads, and I mean shit loads, of other search engine bait in the video’s description…


hamasaki utada hikaru movement revolution revolt spanish inquisition fallacy community communist revolver gun shotgun hunting deer bear dick cheney condoleeza late nite early morning hell retribution heaven free hacks cracks hax hax0r glitched glitches tricks cheats cheater cheated unfair code codes programming language languages tongue eye heart ear foot toe medical medicene doctor hand finger leg arm shoulder elbow wrist knee cap bone pelvis skull brain nose cartilage mortality mortal coil spring object everyday lord king savior emperor story segue van automobile automatic country hick redneck hillbillie hillbilly stockton sacramento dallas san francisco diego jose puto taco bell border patrol mcdonalds KFC kentucky fried chicken trans fat saturated monounsaturated polyunsaturated unsaturated peanuts food network oils cooking vine garden peaches fruits apples pears grapes banana infamous murderer killer victim historian history historical account yes no maybe so i dont know homo homosexual immigrant irrigated irrigation pipe sewer mutation ninja chemical waste plant grow shrink sun light darkness scene the cd chip micro mini macro quantum warp space drive disk star trek pizza hut dominos ecoli everybody starlet diva awards faggotz red yellow orange black blue white green purple violet ultra spectrum speculum plug one two three four five six seven eight nine weather cast crew depressing rollerskates tits vagina sex nude boobs britney spears paris hilton jordan capri honeymoon hollywood lindsey lohan girl woman lady sexy man hot stud slut fuck ass bitch nigger chink gook cracker beaner asshole shit feces death murder maim kill rape hurt pain cartoon anime naruto bleach dragonball DBZ eyeshield21 niggers nig faggot fag gay lesbian porn pornography video game hate love xbox360 PS3 PSX playstation sony microsoft nintendo wii ebay note adobe final cut apple premiere news bush republican o'reilly reilly spin factor liberal clinton iraq iran war news topless bottomless tits boobs cunt pussy titney cats dogs mice rats crocodile hunter australia japan tokyo america new york old 9/11 trade world center grand theft auto halo 1 2 3 episode 10 100 50 clitoris sexual fight boxing basketball baseball soccer tennis sports NBA NFL ESPN horror comedy drama romance ninja shinobi cosplay hentai titties boobies breasts bouncing beach bitches bikini a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z hi bye rachel amanda sarah tony dad mom aunt uncle grandma grandpa college film production drums singing american idol lost heroes discover animal planet furry yiff tupac rap rock jazz punk emo fall out boy in door panic at the disco sugar sweet pop piss christina anal blowjob bj family guy simpsons fox news online outkast birds bees christian athiest movies demonstration japanese eyes world record book yugioh detective conan case closed combo glitch maple story gunbound population global warming al gore politicians political white house jesus god war bomb nuke osama saddam k.fed fed chicken popozao po po zao concert guitar hero music cds cd method man men group jay-z ashanti myspace google aliens UFO conspiracy government denial explosion mission impossible tom cruise scientology re: reply jefferson lincoln logs ren stimpy chinese korean electric computer stopmotion stop motion go traffic cars chevy ford california south dakota texas florida michigan canada mexico mexican spanish translated games parties party drunk makeout kissing religious scandal truth real fake reality tv television game show blooper accident tag team wrestling WWE WWF NWO hulk hogan pamela anderson king of the hill david letterman jay leno late nite show dance revolution bemani drummania beatmania maniac 70s 80s 90s 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 70's 80's 90's
60's 60s 50's 50s 40's 40 pearl harbor tsunami
enron money cash bling seal cat dog bird
parakeet editing edited editor world

this method of internet subversion is one of my favourites and precisely the sort of thing our young people should be spending their time doing. I approve wholeheartedly

and, just for completeness’ sake, the BBC clip I was originally watching was this…

…a total waste of time for anyone who doesn’t have a grasp of British idiom and sense of humour less developed than a 14 year old schoolboy's

I thought it was funny

And whilst I am getting as much scat out of my system as possible, a few weeks ago I started to notice a higher than usual level of spam emails on the subject of pen15 enlargement getting through to my inbox. Naturally enough, I assumed this was part of the build-up to Valentine’s Day but I’ve continued receiving loads since then (the Mrs is trying to convince me that’s because she wrote a bulk email to a few hundred thousand random people in Central America and West Africa last month complaining about the size of my D1ck). Here’s a small sample of my favourites…


Friday, February 15, 2008


A few days ago I wrote a post about bullshit terror pundits in response to the July 7th Truth Campaign publishing some information they have uncovered about a possible gap in the official biography one of the UK's leading terror pundits, Peter Power

An anonymous commentator under my post was thoughtful enough to update Power's entry on Wikipedia

which didn't go down too well with someone over in WikiLand...

"I and a few others, watch out for hostile groups trying to hijack Wikipedia features to promote themselves. It is known from other websites that you have a very hostile vendetta against Power. Your organisation should express its views in another article. I gather you believe that the 7 July 2005 London bombing tragedy was played by actors pretending to be injured, or missing the point that there have been 22 bombs on the London underground since 1885? The ‘Julyseventh’ group who inserted the previous last sentence in the article about Peter Power have been inaccurate and malicious in their intent, as opposed to just informative. Their addition has therefore been removed.You are adding nothing of value to this article, expect to suit your purposes that I and others consider malicious. You are part of the 'julyseventh'campaign has a very hostile vendetta against Power (see many other websites) and you clearly seek to use Wikipedia to further this by adding valueless/malicious additions. Please stop doing this--Martinfud (talk) 17:28, 14 February 2008 (UTC)..."

There's been plenty more Power-related goings on behind the scenes at Wikipedia, including a fair old slab of probable sock puppetry

What is clear from reading the exchanges is that the burden of proof demanded from people who dissent against officially sanctioned viewpoints, theories and, um, biographies is a lot higher than that demanded of pundits who are given free-rein to push fascistic fear-mongering nonsense on national TV

I mention these goings-on just on the offchance that 'anon' doesn't realise that he's started a small WikiWar™ and would like to take the opportunity to put the record straight about J7T NOT being the originators of the original edit, as they have been accused of being by someone with their hand up a sock's arse

An actor depicting what Peter Power might look like if he or a friend of his were editing a Wikipedia entry

As for the accusation that vendettas are being waged...

I can't speak for J7T or anon but there are only two reasons why I am interested in Peter Power...

1. He's on TV a lot selling what I believe to be a bullshit War on Terror paradigm which is steadily diminishing those freedoms he and his kind claim to be protecting. The supposed credibility of what he is selling derives largely from his reported professional history. That professional history is therefore clearly a matter of public interest

2. He went on radio on the day of the London bombings and claimed that his firm was carrying out a terrorism response drill at
exactly the same time and in exactly the same stations as the 7/7 bombs. This, I believe, means that either a hugely improbable fluke took place, Power's firm had some prior knowledge of the planned attacks on London, or he is a bullshitter who was plugging his firm whilst the bodies of the victims of 7/7 were still warm. I don't pretend to know what the answer is but anyone concerned with 7/7 and its repercussions would probably like see Power's claims investigated, by the police or the mainstream media. So far, they appear not to have been and matey continues to crop up on the State Broadcasting Company banging away about the 'New Normal' uncontested

This isn't the first time an anonymous commentator on this blog has posted something a little contentious on Wikipedia. A while back someone (I'm guessing the same someone who posted the Power edit) created a Wikipedia entry for that other bunch of creepy nutsacks
Common Purpose. It's heartening to note that the folks over at
Common Purpose have been offended by some of the things Internet Conspiraloons have been saying about them and they recently posted a rebuttal which makes some vague hints about legal action without going so far as to announcing they are going to take any. More on CP and other fun Nu-World 'opinion shaping' outfits such as Editorial Intelligence another time

In the meantime, nice one(s) 'anon' but please be aware that there are folks out there keen to rip into J7T whenever it puts a foot wrong or can be misrepresented as having put a foot wrong - if you read through the discussion over at Wiki I think you'll understand what I mean


Tuesday, February 12, 2008


My posting ability is somewhat restricted by having my hands permanently covered in paint and polyfilla at the moment (yes, I know it's supposed to go on the walls) and apologies to folks who've written to me recently and haven't had a reply, yet. In the meantime, here's a clip of Anthea Turner being blown up, posted here for no good reason at all - aside from the fact that it's funny in a mean-spirited kind of way, obviously...


Friday, February 08, 2008


In a previous life I spent some time working with a small currency trading company

And because it was small the marketing budget was miniscule

Fortunately, one of the guys in the company was a media-designated foreign currency ‘expert’

...a media-designated expert being someone willing and able to take a couple of hours out of their busy working day to be hauled over to a television studio to talk bollocks at short notice and, most importantly, for free

Needless to say, media-designated experts do not do this sort of thing for altruistic, public service reasons. They are all selling something – a company, a product, an idea, themselves

And it’s not all that difficult to become a media-designated expert. Pick a suitably specialist subject, create a consultancy or a pressure group out of thin air, whack off a few press releases with your name on, indicate that you’re willing to appear on television at some stupid time in the morning, and let the insatiable demands of 24 hour news culture do the rest.

At any one point in time there are dozens or cars shuttling back and forth around London delivering a steady stream of pundits to television and radio studios to talk utter bollocks; round the clock, 24 hours a day, seven days a week

And if a pundit’s driver gets interviewed instead of the pundit by mistake so fucking what…

A curious thing about media-designated pundits is that the more trivial the subject the more likely it is the pundit you see on screen knows what he’s talking about. The British public wouldn’t put up with someone they’ve never heard of, introduced as a ‘Sports Expert’, commenting on a football match but when it comes to stuff like money, war and death, fuck it, why not?

And the worst of the media-designated pundit breed; the shadiest, most self-serving and the most unreliable, are, of course, the Terror!! Pundits

Bullshit Terror Punditry is a huge field of study in itself but one ‘Terror Expert’ in particular is of special interest to people who are dissatisfied with the Official Narrative of the 7/7 London Bombings

Heeeeeeeeeere’s Peter…

Peter Power is, of course, the man who claimed on live radio on 7/7 that his company had been running a terrorism response training exercise at the very same time and in the very same stations that were bombed that morning.

Personally, I just assumed that Peter was talking shit as usual and thought no more of it but a lot of people interested in researching 7/7 have been distracted by Power’s claims ever since

And since then Power has been a regular feature on television, talking about the ‘New Normal’ and how every public body and company in the land has to spunk billions on the kind of specialist consultancy services experts like him are uniquely qualified to offer

Even if I believed in Power’s ‘New Normal’ I’d still argue that him and his kind are self-serving spare parts. The Nazis locked down Occupied Europe and Russia pretty tightly, carried out wholesale collective punishments and they still couldn’t stop poorly equipped but determined/ fanatical people blowing stuff up

Anyway, I only mention all this because J7T has just uncovered an intriguing little morsel about Peter Power's past which may be of interest to Power fans

Normally I am not a fan of ad hominems but in Peter’s case I’m more than willing to make an exception


Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Michael Parenti is annoyed

I’m currently part way through a spot of painting and decorating. Not my cup of tea really but it has enabled me to catch up on the Michael Parenti back catalogue – though I have noticed that I have to go back to bits I paint when Michael is sounding really, really angry.

Parenti’s three most important qualities as a public speaker are…

  1. He’s just a teensy wee bit Marxist

  2. On the other hand, he’s also a Conspiraloon (well, sort of, sometimes)

  3. He’s annoyed

And if you haven’t seen Mr P. in action before, and you are a bit of a Conspiraloon, this talk, entitled ‘The Gangster Nature of the State’ is worth a spin...

Parenti starts the talk a bit shouty and then moves onto a discussion about Lee Harvey Oswald and the JFK assassination which sounds almost like a stand-up comedy routine in places (not to be confused with this JFK assassination stand-up comedy routine). Parenti closes with an explanation of why there is absolutely no contradiction in believing that human agency (‘conspiracy’) has a significant influence on human affairs as well as following the kind of ‘structural’ analysis Leftist gatekeepers such as Chomsky and Cockburn are employed to confuse and bore the arse off people with.

Parenti is not without his flaws. He’s a polemicist who can play fast and loose with the facts and when he is talking about causes and movements he holds dear any semblance of objectivity flies out of the window. However, he is eloquent, his heart appears to be in the right place and he’s much more interesting to listen to than daytime radio when painting a staircase

Highly recommended


Monday, February 04, 2008

Pictures I wish I'd used in earlier posts #328

For some inexplicable reason, today is the first time I'd ever seen this heart-warming image (thx Tony. No, not that Tony, the other Tony)...

And, for the life of me, I can't quite figure out how I managed to overlook this potential lead when slapping up all those pictures of possible Maddy abduction suspects...

edit: and I'm still not sure why it has taken me so long to notice the suspicious similarity between comedy used car salesman Swiss Toni and UK Defence Secretary Des Browne - that cheap stick-on moustache ain't fooling anybody...

Des Browne

Swiss Toni


Saturday, February 02, 2008

Ratio of Fake vs Real Guns in South London now at alarming levels!! Authorities to take action!

Herbie also recommends this tremendously important grass roots campaign...

brought to you in conjunction with the
Campaign for Real Handguns and the No Child Left Unarmed Trust

Pressed into the armed service of a brutal, drug-dealing, third world gangster government before his balls have even dropped - it isn't much better on the other side of the Thames either...


Herbie the Hedgehog's Book of the Month

This month Herbie, the Conspiracy Hedgehog, recommends...

Not as good as the real thing but at the current rate of, er, accidental cable breaks it'll be all we have in a few days time


Friday, February 01, 2008

What's a Creationist's Favourite Sandwich?

The mysterious origins of Life - as illustrated by a large banana smeared with warm, dripping peanut butter

As I've posted on this blog, once or twice, I'm not a big fan of Darwinism. For many reasons, which I'm not going to go into here, I'm about as sure that it doesn't stack up as I can be about anything

I am also equally sure that mainstream scientific orthodoxy on the closely-related, though not the same, subject of abiogenesis - the spontaneous generation of Life from inanimate matter is also pretty ropey

It's not a question about abiogenesis being hugely improbable. As things stand, within the restrictions of our current level of knowledge, abiogenesis is flat out impossibile. There is nothing like a viable theory to explain how something as simple as a single-celled organism (not simple at all) can spring into existence out of its constituents chemical parts. And as for actually replicating that process in a lab, forget it.

Put simply, the notion that life spontaneously sprang out of nothing is currently a faith based belief; anchored on two extremely sophisticated scientific principles which only someone with a brain as large as Richard Dawkins' can comprehend...

  1. Life must have come from somewhere

  2. There's no fucking way I'm bringing God or Space Aliens into it

And if anyone bumping into this post thinks they can pull me up on this; without reverting to Dawkins-style bullshit and deceit, I'd genuinely love to hear from them (False-choice, 'you're either with us or against us', proofs that people who believe in Jesus are wrong about the origins of Life and therefore Dawkins must be right definitely don't count)

Over the years I've seen several thoughtful, intelligent attempts to communicate the deficiencies in mainstream science's attempts to grapple with abiogenesis

This is not one of them...

Peanut Butter, The Atheist's Nightmare!

I originally posted a link to that video on the Conspiraloon Alliance blog and wasn't going to bother replicating the post here

However, someone posted a link to another Masterpiece of Food-based Creationist PR in a comment underneath...

The atheist's nightmare: the banana

Where this Creationist obsession with high-calorie sandwich fillings comes from God(?) only knows, though it does apparently have its limits. Follow-up searches for titles such as 'Why Secular Humanists Fear Spreadable Marshmallow' and 'Jam - The Agnostic's Nemesis' on Google/ Youtube have, so far, stubbornly refused to yield any positive results :(