Friday, September 29, 2006

The great taste of Kbac!

Every now and again I get a note from a stranger who bumped into something I’ve posted on the Internet that they have taken exception to or, much more rarely, been inspired by and they drop me a line.

And my Dear Old Mum always told me that if someone takes the time to write to you it’s only fair that you should reply. But I’m kind of busy with real world issues at the moment and I’ve been putting the latest receipts to one side to be dealt with when I was kind of less busy.

Well, I’m still busy but I’ve been sitting on a few emails for almost two months now. Plus, all the pre release publicity (and publicity stunts) for the new Borat movie have reminded me of one email in particular that I haven’t yet responded to.

Look at the funny Kazakh man. This Kazakh man is
smiling because
he comes from a country with some of
the largest fuel and mineral
reserves in the world. And if
he's smiling now he's going to be pissing
himself in a
few years time. He also happens to be Muslim.
Aren't we clever

The email is about Kvas

Kvas is the national soft drink of Russia and, I suspect, quite a few other FSU republics.

It’s primary ingredient is stale bread soaked in water which is then fermented in old plastic Fanta bottles and flavoured with whatever comes to hand – raisins, tree bark, horseradish … let your imagination run wild!

I’ve described Kvas in far from flattering terms a couple of times on the web.

In my defence, my first Kvas experience took place as part of a bizarre afternoon spent on the banks of the River Don which culminated in a group of very, very drunk people (including me) dancing in the woods to the sound of Cossack folk music blasting out from a car stereo; each of us holding half a tomato in our hands.

You would have had to be there to understand.

Taken before tomatoes were handed out and the
dancing began
- Note Kvas in foreground.
And, yes, that chap on the far right is a Kazakh

The fact that Kvas is sometimes sold on roadsides from what appear to be ex-Red Army fuel bowsers doesn’t do its reputation as the drink of sophisticates any favours either

Anyway, I got this email from a guy called Vlad a couple of months ago

I thought you were kind of harsh on Kvass.

Before you dismiss my opinion and perceive my liking of Kvass as more evidence for your theory that only Russians like Kvass, you should understand that I had only lived in Russia in my childhood, up until I was 11 years old, at which point my family moved to Canada, and have been living here since then. I am now in my twenties, and am completely integrated into western culture. I have several Canadians friends whom I have offered Kvass, and I have never gotten a bad reaction from it.

As you say yourself, there are several ways of making Kvass, so perhaps your experiences with it are only negative due to a coincidence of drinking a version of kvass made from a shitty recipe? I've never tried kvass made with beets, as my family has always made it out of bread alone, and the street-vender kvass in Russia is made from bread alone as a standard. However, the stuff with beets in it does sound disgusting.

What I like about kvass is the contrast between in its taste which is mild, and yet its very strong and distinct at the same time. The semi-carbonation is a nice touch as well.

Give kvass another shot, or try a couple of different types. I'm not trying to say that your opinion is somehow wrong, but I just think that if locals here in Canada like it, your very strong words against kvass seem a little disproportional.



Vlad, I’m sorry I didn’t write back to you sooner. I apologise if what passes for my sense of humour caused any offence and, yes, I will give Kvas another try – this time without being drunk to the point of nausea first and most definitely without the half tomato.

Caption Contest result

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold...."

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Fans of bad movies and New Zealand rejoice!

The country that brought you landmine awareness tomato sauce sachets has done it again

looks like it could be pretty special...

Yes, a film that could end up making Snakes on a Plane look like Spartacus and, finally, a rival for Night of the Lepus!

PS the Other Half reliably informs me that the correct figure is nearer 70 million

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Video Schmideo pt1

I remember the days when this blog wasn’t almost exclusively devoted to posts about the War on Terror, the 'New Normal', hate, fear and death, stuff like that.

Maybe one day, I’ll get back to writing about how much I adore Richard Dawkins or how British Currency used to work before decimalization or how much smaller KFC Chicken Fillet burgers look in real life than in the ads.

But not today

A few days back I posted a plug for a new video about the gaps and inconsistencies in the Official Account of 7/7.

Reaction to the video can be roughly grouped under three headings
  • People who loved it
  • People who hated it
  • At least two people who are not too sure what to make of it. That would be me and someone else

Scepticism can, and I would argue, should cut both ways. It’s all very well and good doubting and questioning material that doesn’t fit in your worldview. That’s easy. The tricky part is not swallowing stuff just because it appears to agree with your take on things. Most commercial rat poison is c.1% poison, 99% filler. Most mousetraps are baited with jibneh.

As stated before, my issue with Ludicrous Diversion is that it emphasises just how big and powerful the Establishment (for want of a better word) is. Whereas the truth is quite the reverse. There’s only a handful of Them and an awful lot of Us. That’s why they have to tell pork pies so often.

The real problem lies with the bulk of ‘Us’ who are either too brainwashed or too busy paying their mortgages to spend much time on ‘political’ issues unless they are directly and personally involved with them.

By which time, of course, it is too late.

The issue in question doesn’t have to be Civil Liberty or War on Terror related. Take a bread and butter subject like personal debt, money supply and that big motherloving housing crunch that’s going to happen sooner or later. Bankers and politicians have been lining us all for a damned good rogering for years now. Is the average Joe on the street as concerned about what is probably going to happen as he should be?

Bollocks is he.

There’s a character called Alex Jones over in the US who has made a pile of videos in the style of Ludicrous Diversion, all of which are targeted at people who are concerned about some of the bigger issues and are actively seeking out an alternative account of what is going on in the world. They get that. They also get told that there’s biff all they can do about it.

I refer to stuff like Alex Jones’ work as ‘fear porn’. You watch but you don’t do.

That’s pretty much all bases covered. The bulk of people aren’t interested and read tabloids, and of those who are interested most are given disinformation handjobs in the ‘serious’ press and the handful who are left over are reminded via the Internet that they are powerless.


Having said all that Ludicrous Diversion does present many of the key questions about 7/7 and is well produced, so I’m happy to refer people to it – with a couple of caveats.

So, no, I don’t hate it. Far from it.

Of the people who hated Ludicrous Diversion enough to leave a comment about it on Google Video I particularly enjoyed a contribution made by someone calling him/herself July 7 survivor. Connoisseurs of Internet shills and on-line Lobbyists will spot many old favourite ruses here…

Ludicrous Diversion is indeed a good term. I am complaining about this to the site owners. There are so many mistakes in this I can't even start to list them. This is an insult to the dead.

This is full of lies - and distortions. The last thing we need is for people to deny that suicide bombing exists in the UK. It is a disgrace that this bull sh*t should be pedalled.

What a c^nt. I’m not sure if invoking the memory of the dead or the line ‘there are so many mistakes in this I can’t even start to list them’ is my favourite. I’ll call it a tie.

My second favourite comment came from someone who is no stranger to Internet discussions about 7/7…

Oh God, more conspiracy theory videos. If we had an independent inquiry into tje 7/7 bombings all this hysterical nonsense wouldn't fly around the internet. Conspiracy theorist - someone who disbelives everything they watch on the news but mysteriously believe everything they find on the internet.

Give me strength. I can see that this has upset someone who was there, I wouldn't go so far as to say it should be banned, though. Leave it & laugh.

I'll refrain from insulting this person because that's their game. I will, however, point out that they are plain wrong in their assertion.

I probably qualify as a conspiracy theorist.

However, I do not mysteriously believe everything I find on the Internet; especially confession videos from dead, CIA-funded terrorist leaders

or one of their seemingly countless 'Number Twos'

And I do believe much of what I read in the newspapers; especially any stories about dead, CIA-funded terrorist leaders wanting to kidnap and marry Whitney Houston

… as found on a bench in, of all places, Finsbury Park underground station on 11th September. Full story here …

I believe every word of it

Say Jibneh!

In my defence the bloke who sent me this is a Muslim living in the Middle East so if anyone should know better it's him not me

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The smallest policeman in the world

I've just read The Antagonist's post about that tiny but devoted band of 'radicalised' British Islamicists who turn up right on cue to spout inflammatory horseshit whenever the government needs them to. Even though Antagonist has failed to pick up on the crucial link between the domestic war on terror and Gerry Andersen produced puppet TV series, one line did tickle me in particular

Following his outburst, Izzadeen (Trevor) was ejected from the venue by the world's smallest policeman, but not before being allowed to utter some choice words in front of the assembled crowd, cameras and microphones, thereby making sure that everyone received the full weight of the not-quite-so subliminal messages being conveyed.

Small copper. Big Mullet

Comedy-sized policemen are becoming a fairly common sight on the streets of London. I originally thought they were employed because they were handy in tunnels and inserting into one bedroom flats packed to the ceiling with dozens of underage Moldovan sex slaves (quite common hereabouts) but now that I think about it they can also provide a useful scaling option when trying to provide Bert and Ernie style visual comparisons between the Power of the State and the Muslim Menace

State smaaaaaall. Muslim Terror threat biiiiiiig.
Ernie like cookies. Ernie want rubby duckie...

Mind you, as everyone already knows, Bert was radicalized years ago...

And is it just me or did the Home Secretary before last sound just like Elmo?

Charles 'Tickle Me' Clarke


If you are open to their message, classic children's TV puppet shows can teach you a lot more about a Life than any current affairs programming. Watch more, especially Oliver Postgate's stuff

Stand by for radicalization

I’ve got some serious issues with a word that is being bandied around a lot right now. Everyone in the media seems to be using it. Not many people seem to be defining or explaining it…


There’s the obvious issue that using a word like that, in the context it is being used, is the hallmark of an intellectually lazy, dumb fuckhead who finds it easier to recycle trite, meaningless, fantasy-gobshite cliches rather than discuss an issue in the manner of someone who approximates to some form of sentient being.

That sort of behaviour is to be expected.

After all, we have a long and noble tradition of writing-off anyone who is pissed off with the way our leaders behave as being an ideologically fanatical robot. It’s virtually a prerequisite for a successful war.

That kind of thinking makes it much easier to kill people (well, it’s not like they’re normal is it?) and also takes the pressure off having to worry about any minor inconsistencies in your own world view.

Anyway, I’m sure that abuse of the word ‘radicalise’ is being done to death in blogs all over the place.

I would, however, like to know more about the actual mechanics of this radicalisation of British Muslims that’s apparently going on all over the place. For some reason I’ve got this mental image of laser beams shooting out of some bearded cleric’s eyes. Or maybe they have a special headset that does it. The news coverage seems to be hinting at some irresistible, industrial-scale process but, tantalisingly, there’s no detail.

It’s a bit of a tease really.

But my biggest question about the radicalization process is

If so many British Muslims have been radicalized how come it's always the same couple of wallies who appear on tele and the papers every time radical Muslims are mentioned, time and time again?

People like Trevor

and his mate, that other wally

In fact, the British mainstream media, especially the BBC, seem to be suffering from a serious case of Stingray Syndrome.

I mean the 1960’s TV puppet series not the fish

Unlike the fish, the 1960's TV puppet series promised a lot more than it delivered and didn’t pack much of a punch. The opening music was pretty damned exciting, a demented voice would scream out lines like ‘Stand by for Action!!!’ and ‘Anything can happen in the next half hour!!!’ whilst it was playing, and there were lots of short clips of things exploding and then, once the show started properly …

not very much happened at all

Even though I stood by for the specified 30 minutes I was, more often than not, cruelly disappointed.

The problem was that Stingray’s budget could only stretch to half a dozen puppets. So, the total cast for each episode consisted of the four regular characters plus two puppet extras who played the bad guys every week.

Hence lines like ‘We are a scouting party for the mighty Aquaphibian empire. Just behind us there are thousands of Aquaphibians coming to destroy you but right now you have to get by with just the two of us

Sometimes they would wear different helmets

Even as a five year old I soon cottoned onto what was going on, got bored and started watching Star Trek and its vastly superior production values instead.

Whether or not the two bad guy puppets from Stingray, as opposed to Newsnight, were subject to any form of Islamic radicalization before turning up on set was never made clear

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Work will set you free

According to the Daily Mail a couple of days ago…

Working 'makes us happy', an expert has claimed. He found being unemployed could be as dangerous as smoking 400 cigarettes a day.

Statistically, the health risks of being out of work for six months or more are equivalent to smoking 20 packet of cigarettes a day, said a professor at Cardiff University.

He said doctors should be concerned about getting people back to work rather than writing sicknotes because being out of work could be more risky that working on an oil platform or as a safari guide.

What a marvellous story.

It’s bollocks obviously and a nice reminder that quite a few scientists are mental. An observation that’s worth bearing in mind every time a sensationlist global warming or epidemic story gets into the papers.

Mind you, if I were unemployed, as I currently am, and spending £37,000 on 146,000 fags every year, which I don’t, yes, I reckon I wouldn’t be very happy whether I smoked them or not. And, if you think about it, smoking 50 cigarettes a minute, eight hours a day, would start to seem like a job after a while anyway.

Actually, the first thing I thought about when I read this story was a rather disturbing business park currently being built near to the Piccadilly Line on the way out to Heathrow

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to grab a photograph of the site (must do, must) but it

  • looks like a camp
  • is surrounded by a fence
  • is conveniently located next to a railway line
  • and has a huge banner with the words ‘Enjoy Work’ over one of the gates

You get the idea

If I've said it once I've said it three or four times, when reality looks like it does today parody becomes pointless.

My second thought was my mate Ian’s favourite work-related quote taken from Bridge Over the River Kwai

If you work hard,
you will be treated well.
But if you do not work hard...
you will be punished!
A word to you about escape.
There is no barbed wire...
no stockade...
no watchtower.
They are not necessary.
We are an island in the jungle.
Escape is impossible.
You would die.
Today you rest.
Tomorrow you will begin.
Let me remind you
of General Yamashita's motto:
Be happy in your work.

I f*cking love that film

Hands up anyone who remembers all those articles in the mainstream media not so long ago about that 'leisure bonus' we were all supposed to be receiving as the result of new technology? That vision of the future seems to have died on its arse in double-quick time doesn’t it.


And I’m going to stick this photo taken in Woolwich the other day here because I can’t think of anywhere else to put it

All together now:

Any time you're Woolwich way,
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all
Doin' the Hiroshima Walk. Oi!

Have your say

Sunday, September 17, 2006

On this day in history

Not many people know this but September 17th is a cracking date for nerdy global conspiracy buffs.

… because on this day in 1939 Communist Russia invaded Poland.

… because the Communist Russians were best mates with the Nazis

And I mean really, really best mates. The bestest mates ever.

Throughout the 1920s and early 30s the Russians provided safe haven and facilities for Germans to develop fun stuff like their U-Boats, Panzers and fighter planes. Before Hitler took over, after Hitler took over. Fuck it, it didn’t matter. Stalin also happily supplied the Nazis with oil and ore right up to the German invasion of Russia in 1941.

And between the occupation of Poland in 1939 and the German attack in 1941 Stalin merrily occupied himself by rounding up virtually everyone in Poland who could read and liquidating them in all sorts of interesting and cost effective ways.

Fun guy. Fun times.

Though we never heard too much about them in this country, then or now, because Stalin was, apparently, on our side.

As, of course, were the Poles.

Hmm, tricky...

This period of history and mainstream accounts of what happened have always bugged me (and quite a few Poles, Czechs, Rumanians, Bulgarians, Hungarians, Estonians, Lithuanians and Latvians) and present a fair few unanswered questions. Questions like…

  • If we declared war on Germany for invading Poland on 1st September 1939 why didn’t we declare war on Russia for invading (the same) Poland a couple of weeks later?
  • If we joined the Second World War to save Poland and other Eastern European countries from occupation by a brutal genocidal regime in 1939 how come we declared WW2 over in 1945 when considerably more European countries, including Poland, were occupied by a brutal, genocidal regime?
  • Why did Stalin unstintingly help rearm, virtually from scratch, a country led by a man who enjoyed nothing more than making speeches about eastward expansion, the destruction of Bolshevism and the total subjugation of all Slavs?
  • How come Stalin, not exactly one of history’s most trusting individuals, and a man who had created the most effective intelligence service in the world, was absolutely certain he wasn’t going to be attacked by the Germans even though everyone, except the Germans, was telling him otherwise? German tank crews were revving up their engines, taking the covers off their guns and waving cheerfully at their Russian counterparts across the border and Stalin was still dead certain his bestest buddies weren’t going to attack. Why?

If anyone has come up with a non-conspiratorial explanation of how this all makes sense I’ve yet to read it.

Pwoar! What a carve-up!

And if you start digging deeper and rummaging around the bios of the people and organisations who bankrolled and supported the Russian and German regimes the story becomes more and more peculiar. Even George W. Bush’s grandpappy gets in on the act; though Armand Hammer is my favourite of the bunch – Holder of the Order of Lenin and a staunch Republican?


Admittedly, unless you’re a history buff this is dry and dusty stuff but all this dry and dusty stuff has taught me a couple of things

  • Even our ‘good’ wars haven’t been all that good – unless you’re an arms manufacturer or a banker. In which case they were not just good they were fucking excellent
  • Just because two regimes pretend they don’t like each other very much that doesn’t mean that it is so. And, by the same token, two regimes can appear to be bestest buddies but sometimes all it takes is a phone call from a special someone to change the nature of their relationship quite markedly

The second point may be vaguely pertinent when it comes to the current broohaha about Iran being a very naughty country with very naughty thoughts on its mind. That would be the same despotic Islamofascist Iran the Americans and Israelis were more than happy to supply arms to throughout the 1980s and maybe beyond. And the same despotic Islamofascist Iran we’ve done a big favour for by chopping Saddam’s Iraq into three bite-sized pieces; including one almost entirely occupied and controlled by Iran-friendly Shias.

And those sophisticated 'Iranian-produced' missilies Hezbollah was lobbing around Lebanon last month? Chinese made, based on US technology sourced via Israel...

Well, maybe the US, UK and Israel are just being sporting and buncing up the Iranians for a fairer fight than would otherwise be the case.

The moral of this tale?

Take Australasia first, work your way up through Asia

Friday, September 15, 2006

Ludicrous Diversions

Home made ‘Truth Seeker’ videos seem to be all the rage at the moment.

This is partly due to the proliferation of broadband but also, I suspect, a lot to do with people being fucked off with the mainstream media and its virtual abandonment of investigative journalism.

Flip on BBC’s Newsnight tonight, or any other night, and see if you can spot any independent journalism amongst all the regurgitated spin, misinformation and repackaged Video News Releases.

But don’t hold your breath whilst you’re doing it.

The Daddie, in terms of circulation anyway, of DIY Truth Seeker video mashups is Loose Change and its take on what happened on 9/11. Personally, I’m not that big a fan. It’s derivative and contains little, if any, original material and it’s so slickly put together I kind of doubt its true DIY cred. Someone coughed up a fair bit of money for its production and distribution and that sets off all sorts of alarm bells ringing in the old noggin.

I mention all of this because I’ve just watched a much more British example of the genre

Ludicrous Diversion – London Bombings Documentary

Which is much more like it.

It’s not badly put together but not as slick as Loose Change

I’ve only played Ludicrous Diversion through once and know biff all about its provenance but nevertheless I’d still recommend it as viable alternative way to spend half an hour rather than watching Newsnight.

Its good points are

  • It covers a fair selection of the salient causes for doubt about the Official Narrative of 7/7
  • Style-wise, it does a very passable impression of an Adam Curtis produced/ narrated documentary, which is always a good thing
  • Unlike the comparable Mind the Gap it doesn’t have ‘former’ intelligence operative David Shayler doing the voice over – once a spook always a spook, eh David?

(cough) Bullshit!

Its not so good points are

  • The producers of all these videos seem to think there’s some kind of prerequisite to rip off or mimick the soundtracks from John Carpenter horror flicks like Halloween or The Thing. Techno Menace appears to be the order of the day. I reckon the soundtrack from Lock Stock would sound a lot trendier
  • I’m not sure that there is very much in the way of a call to action. It’s all very well and good pointing out the inconsistencies of the day and how impotent we all are to do anything about it but what should we do about it. Which, as criticisms go, is pretty rich coming from me
  • There’s way too much in the way of hyperbole, non sequiturs and presentation of opinion as fact which leaves the video way open to a damned good Fisking. There's reference to the ‘murder’ of Jean Charles de Menezes for example. The JCdM business undoubtedly stinks to high heaven but is there evidence of murder? Why not use a term like ‘execution’, which has the same narrative sting but much less open to accusations of misrepresentation?

Preaching to the converted does have its attractions but if your presentation cannot stand up to robust criticism, and features sloppy language that an establishment-supporting pedant would cream his jeans over, it’s not going to win many new converts is it?

Whatever its weaknesses, Ludicrous Diversion is still better than my own attempt at a 7/7 Truth Video; if by virtue of no other fact that it has actually been made.

... and, unlike the output of the mainstream media which is just crafted for passive absorption, it might actually stimulate some critical thought.

No doubt I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and realise that Ludicrous Diversion is just a clever piece of MI5–produced spin and wish I’d never written this post at all.

Ah, the sweet, sweet caress of paranoia. How I love it so.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Claire Short gets it - finally

So, Claire Short has managed to twig onto what’s been happening for the last ten years and, more importantly, what's on the cards for the next ten years.

Late again, eh Claire?

You had your chance back in March 2003 and you blew it love

Clare Short: I'm standing down so I can speak the truth

I am profoundly ashamed of the Government. The Labour Party has lost its way

The Independent, 14 September 2006

I have been thinking long and hard about whether to contest the next election as a Labour candidate and decided that I will not. For me it is a big decision. I have given my adult life to the Labour Party as the best way I could see of increasing social justice at home and abroad. I have enjoyed the 23 years' service to my constituents, my work in the House of Commons to resist the destructive policies of the Thatcher years, which hurt so many people. I served for 10 years on the National Executive Committee, working with Neil Kinnock and then John Smith, to ready the party for power. I was deeply honoured to serve as the Secretary of State for International Development which demonstrates how extra money, clarity of purpose and high morale can lead to excellence in public service, and to work with my officials to establish the new Department for International Development.

There are many good things that New Labour has done since 1997, mostly things Labour committed itself to before the New Labour coup, but I have reached a stage where I am profoundly ashamed of the Government. Blair's craven support for the extremism of US neoconservative foreign policy has exacerbated the danger of terrorism and the instability and suffering of the Middle East. He has dishonoured the UK, undermined the UN and international law and helped to make the world a more dangerous place. The erosion of the rule of law and civil liberties has weakened our democracy and increased Muslim alienation.

Gordon Brown's commitment to a replacement of Trident, in one throwaway sentence, is an insult to democracy. The approach of New Labour to public sector reform has demeaned the precious value of public services. And in addition to the arrogance and lack of principle of New Labour, there is an incredible incompetence. Policy is announced from Number 10 to grab media attention and nothing is properly thought through.

Cabinet government has gone, the House of Commons - with guillotines on all business - is weak and ineffective, and the rise of the third party means our electoral system is ever-more distorted. The vote in 2005 of 9.54 million was the second-lowest Labour vote in post-war Britain. With the support of only 22 per cent of the electorate, we see power more concentrated in a Number 10 that consults no one, engages in deceit over matters of profound importance and is not held to account by Cabinet, parliamentary party or the wider party. The Prime Minister's powers of patronage turn too many MPs into obedient ciphers who await the call to ministerial office or quiet elders who await the House of Lords.

The Labour Party has lost its way, our constitutional arrangements are broken and the gap between the political elite and the country grows ever wider. At the same time, Britain has become more unequal, violent and unhappy. And the world is in desperate trouble. The situation in the Middle East will get worse, and global warming threatens massive disruption.

There are answers to these enormous challenges, but not on the path we are on. To improve the quality of life in the UK, we need to look to the Scandinavian model. On foreign policy, we need to try to work with the EU and others so that the world is capable of reaching agreement to face the challenge of global warming, population growth and environmental strain.

Stay and fight, some argue. But there is no discussion of policy any more. The challenge to Blair and discussions of a new leadership are confined to personalities and all commit to continue the Blair errors.

My conclusion is that the key to the change we need is a hung parliament which will bring in electoral reform. Then we would have a second election. Labour - with existing levels of support - would have one-third of the seats in the Commons, the Tories something similar, and we would be likely to see some Greens and others added, creating a plurality of voices and power centres in the Commons. British politics would then change profoundly. Parliament, and in turn the people, would have to be listened to, Cabinet government would return, the error-prone arrogance of Number 10 would end, and we would have a chance of creating a new politics, a more civilised country and a more honourable role in the world.

The Chief Whip has warned me that I cannot recommend a hung parliament because it would mean Labour MPs losing their seats. I am standing down so that I can speak my truth and support the changes that are needed. Sad to say, it is now almost impossible to do this as a Labour MP.

The writer is Labour MP for Birmingham, Ladywood

The Joys of Lambeth pt227

Here's one I inadvertently missed from my Lambeth Life postcard collection -


A website with substantially even less traffic than this one

not forgetting its sister site

which, curiously, seems to be coming up as a 404 in my browser

OK, maybe it's not that curious

As it happens, I too set up my own humble attempt at a Tony Blair appreciation page; several years ago and pre Blogger. I think it's still out there somewhere but I can't remember where I hosted it. I did, however, keep screen dumps of its most original and erudite content...

That's the thing about classic design. It never goes out of fashion

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Stef's stock tips

"If your pictures aren't good enough, you're not close enough"

And this year’s Robert Capa Golden Claymore award for the most sensitive spam share tip must go to this quality email forwarded to me by a chum…

W_A T_C_H O U T! Here comes the big one! All signs show that AETR is going to Explode!

ALLIANCE ENTERPRISE (AETR) Current Price 0.80 Add this gem to your watch list, and watch it trad closely!



MILL VALLEY, CALIFORNIA August 25, 2006 - The Alliance Enterprise Corporation announced today a breakthr0ugh in developing an Aerial Landmine System aimed at locating, detecting and mapping deadly landmines.

More than 100 million landmines in 83 countries are holding international communities and industries hostage, preventing the investment in and development of productive lands and the re-building of infrastructure. A broad variety of landmines have been scattered over productive areas effectively crippling the economy and disabling thousands of children and adults. There are no reliable records that accurately show where these devastating landmines lie in wait for their victims.

With the present day costs to clear a single land mine ranging between $1,000 to $1,500, solving the problem of de-mining lands will reach billions of dollars. TaeCorp has developed a technology based, cost effective solution to this problem using its three tiered approach to scanning, mapping and removing landmines. TaeCorp's System will provide many social and economic benefits to countries and their industries including oil and gas, mining, agriculture, roads and infrastructure development.

About TaeCorp.

TaeCorp's vision is to be the recognized leader in providing Aerial Detection Systems including global de-mining, clearing a path to a safer planet for all humankind.

TaeCorp's mission is to reclaim lands around the globe embedded with landmines that victimize countries and their stakeholders.

Conclusion: The Examples Above Show The Awesome, Earning Potential of Little Known Companies That Explode Onto Investor's Radar Screens; Many of You Are Already Familiar with This. Is AETR Poised and Positioned to Do that For You? Then You May Feel the Time Has Come to Act... And Please Watch this One Trade tomorrow! Go AETR.

As the old saying goes - No pain. No gain

Say what you want about the Nazis no woman has ever had a fantasy about being tied up and beaten by a man dressed as a liberal

Well, it looks like I’ve already fallen foul of the new offence of looking at torture porn on the Internet

It’s amazing what they’ll print in Vogue these days.

There are some nice high-res scans of the full set here. Alternatively, Vogue have put them all together in a tasteful flash animation; including some loud police siren noises and feet hovering up and down above models’ necks.

Serious social commentary or the manifestation of a fucked-up superficial mindset taken straight out of Zoolander?

Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.

Truly we live in an age where parody is virtually obsolete

And let’s face it, the fashion industry does have a track record for this sort of thing. Ever thought that those black SS uniforms looked kind of cool? Well, you can thank Hugo Boss for that.

Whatever the thinking behind the Vogue photographs, it’s all very peculiar … and strangely arousing.

Shoot a Brazilian and win a prize

‘One of the senior officers in charge on the day Jean Charles de Menezes was shot dead by police is to be promoted.

Commander Cressida Dick is to become a deputy assistant commissioner, the Metropolitan Police Authority (MPA) announced on Tuesday.’

I know! Why don't we shoot him in the face!

The best quote of the day on the promotion came from our beloved Mayor Ken Livingstone

"I am particularly pleased to note the appointment of two women to the position of deputy assistant commissioner which sends out a very powerful positive signal about the development of the Met as a modern police service."

The positive signal being that it’s OK to execute an innocent man and be promoted as long as you’re a woman?

I’m all for female empowerment but this seems a trifle excessive.

Obviously the members of the Metropolitan Police Authority are big fans of the principles set out in such scholarly works as Catch 22 and LA Confidential. As in, when faced with a really embarrassing fuck up give the bozo responsible a medal or promote them and pretend they did something really clever.

It’s a winner.

"I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence
to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job

Or maybe the MPA are Judge Dredd fans

Which is also more than possible.

‘Dredd is a law enforcement officer in a violent city of the future where uniformed Judges combine the powers of police, judiciary and government. Dredd and his fellow Judges are empowered to arrest, sentence and even execute criminals on the spot.’

I can remember back to a time when the Dredd comic strip was a fantasy parody of fascism. It seems more like serious mainstream journalism today.

Which is kind of ironic, given that most serious mainstream journalism today reads like a fantasy parody of fascism.

I can also remember confusing Judge Dredd with Judge Dread, the chubby white reggae star who spent his entire career singing about how very big his willy was and who, to my knowledge, didn’t execute anybody as part of his act.

But I digress

All together now

Shave your beard if you're brown and you best salute the crown
Or they’ll do you like Brazillians and shoot your ass down

Monday, September 11, 2006

Link pimping


Every man and his dog is writing about 9/11 today so I’ll pass on that one. This piece on the Rense site sums up my feelings on the subject pretty well anyway...

911 – A Modern Fairy Tale

This, by no means, constitutes an endorsement of Rense’s site BTW. Sites like his do an excellent job of conflating serious political ‘truth seeking’ with moonbat nonsense about space aliens and remote viewing. Whether by accident or design, that kind of behaviour serves the ends of only one group of people I can think of, and I’m not part of it.

They hate us for our freedoms

Fortunately, in spite of 9/11,7/7 et al, our leaders have managed to prevent Islamic Terrorists from changing our sacred way of life because they hate it so

well, mostly

Dave Gorman, King of London-based Rock Balancers, has shared a little story via Flickr about how he was stopped and questioned under anti terror legislation whilst taking pictures of Battersea Power Station.

Well, he could have been planning an attack on an uninhabited building site and, let’s face it, pictures of Battersea Power station are pretty hard to come by

I can’t wait to hear about what happens to the person behind this blog…

Little People Blogspot

… on their first contact with the police

Policeman:Excuse me sir, can I ask you what you’re doing?’

LPB person: ‘Taking pictures of tiny little plastic people acting out scenes of London life in public places’

Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that one

Um, what other Freedom!!! related links are there lurking on my desktop …

Oh yes

The Young Explorer’s Biometric Recognition Set – because it’s fun to be scanned

'The Young Explorer's Full Body Cavity Search Kit' can only be just around the corner, so to speak.


Air passengers could have their conversations and movements monitored as work intensifies to design the terrorist-proof aeroplane

After all, just because something is impossible there’s no harm in spunking away millions and establishing police state style surveillence trying to make it happen.

Is there?

Nor is there any harm in the State Broadcasting Service censoring and editing people’s comment in the ‘Have Your Say’ section of its website


Actually, it is kind of fun seeing what the unseen censors decide to take out.

The headline that never was

Can you just imagine the anguish in newspaper offices up and down the land when faced by the temptations presented by the victim's name in this undeniably tragic news story

Boy ‘executed’ in city shooting

Someone’s bound to crack eventually


Without going into the full back story now, I for one am not entirely convinced by the global warming thing and detect a far from subtle stench of globalist manipulation behind the entire climate change circus. I can still remember back to the late 1970s and early 1980s when the same types who are pushing the pollution and global warming story were farting on about resource depletion and global cooling. Only this time round they’ve got some serious backing.

World climate does change, sure enough, it always has, but my money is on global cooling in the near future and unless we can figure out a way to control the heat output of the Sun or change the Earth’s orbit there’s fuck all we can do about it…

Russian Scientists Forecast Global Cooling in 6–9 years

We’d all be better off thinking about ways to deal with the changes that will undoubtedly happen rather than doing the Canute thing but right now there’s no money in that line of thinking so no one can be bothered.

On the bright side, I’ve just popped my postcode into the Environment Agency’s post-Katrina interactive London flood map and the good news is that if London is swamped by rising sea levels most of Lambeth will become the New Atlantis (the only difference with the old one being that no one will spend any time looking for it), leaving my flat as a desirable beach side property. Best start building that marina in my back yard now.


  • Official website of a pub with vaguely obscene name, conveniently located only five miles from Hawes, here

(connossieurs of 1970s politically incorrect schoolboy humour will note that this comes dangerously close to the classic - Lawrence Lykes, The Cockwell Inn, Tillit, Herts - that I still use regularly when signing onto mandatory on-line registration forms)

  • Harry the Hamster’s dating agency video here – not especially funny, just plain obscene (248,000+ views and counting) ... and the Scottish version