I'm going to get medieval on your arse - pt. 1 and a bit

Christchurch's ex Central Business District

I've been meaning to write a piece for a months now about the Fukushima earthquake and some of the more imaginative assertions which have appeared on the Internet about the how, why and who made (sic.) it happen

I'm still planning to get round to it, whenever I feel up to the shit I'll get for writing it

As part of a discussion of the theories about what happened to Fukushima I was going to mention how little coverage the alternative media has given to the earthquake that hit Christchurch just before Fukushima. No, make that three major earthquakes and 7,500 aftershocks that have pounded a city that had no recorded history of seismic activity until it started ringing like a bell a year ago



Anyway, I'm pre-empting what I want to write about Fukushima and Christchurch because there's a story brewing in the land of the Long White Cloud which will be of particular interest to those who believe that 'The Jews' have, courtesy of HAARP, now taken charge of all tectonic activity on the planet...

"LATEST: Prime Minister John Key has confirmed one of three Israelis killed in the Christchurch earthquake was carrying multiple passports but is refusing to go into further detail because it is not in the national interest.

The police national computer has been under scrutiny in the aftermath of the Christchurch earthquake in February because of fears Israeli agents loaded software into the system that would allow backdoor access to highly sensitive intelligence files.

The Security Intelligence Service ordered the checks as part of an urgent investigation of what one SIS officer described as the suspicious activities of several groups of Israelis during and immediately after the earthquake.

Three Israelis were among the 181 people who died when the earthquake destroyed most of Christchurch's central business district on February 22. One was found to be carrying at least five passports.

An unaccredited Israeli search and rescue squad was later confronted by armed New Zealand officers and removed from the sealed-off "red zone" of the central city. Key was asked repeatedly today to confirm details of an SIS investigation into whether the Israeli secret service had infiltrated the police national computer after three Israelis were killed and other Israeli citizens fled the country..."


All the old favourites are there - multiple passports, hacking of national computer systems, Chabad safe houses, Israeli humanitarian aid teams that are not anything of the sort...

But, for the life of me, I can't see how the Magic Jew Earthquake Machine fits into the story

Israel, of course, has form when it comes to ripping off Kiwi passports for use by its fearless, globe-trotting back-shooters - and this story from 2004 is particularly heart-warming; featuring as it does Israeli agents befriending a victim of cerebral palsy on the basis that he would have never needed a passport and no-one would notice if someone applied for one in his name

Of course, if the state of Israel behaved a little more like New Zealand its employees could use their own fucking passports

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2012 so on it's early?

'I can see your house from here'

Whilst I was living in Christchurch (NZ) I was struck by how relatively blasé the locals were about living on the Ring of Fire.

Admittedly, procedures were in place in the event of a geological hiccup and low-rise building is very much the norm. However, a heck of a lot of that building was on top of cliffs, underneath cliffs or on soft, easily liquified ground. A couple of locals who visited my home were thoughtful enough to take the piss out of the month's supply of tinned food I had sitting in a cupboard.

The thing is, whilst tsunamis were seen as being very much on the cards, few people believed that Christchurch would ever be hit by a major earthquake - what with the nearest seismic fault being 80 or so miles away

Only, as it turns out, Christchurch sits directly, and I mean directly, on top of a major, previously dormant, fault and it hasn't stopped rumbling since it kicked off all of a sudden last September

Being a curious soul I've been wondering ever since how it is that a significant rupture in the Earth's crust would burst into life after being quiet for at least thousands of years?

The answer could have been, and still could be, a stochastic 'shit just happens' explanation and what happened to Christchurch is a localised one-off event with no systemic implications for anywhere else

However, some on-line Earthquake buffs (e.g.) have been suggesting that there is a spike in global seismic activity which has been building up over the last 2-3 years. The problem with knowing if they're onto something or not is the risk that these doom-sayers could be indulging in the kind of subjective, dot-joining based activities that veteran conspiraloons know and love

And then this chap posted this vaguely-frantic video a couple of days ago...

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Ooooooh the irony #326

I'm not currently in New Zealand at the moment but I have lived in Christchurch on and off for the last year or two

So, it goes without saying, that I was concerned to learn that the Garden City has been hit by a biggish earthquake

Concerned but not surprised

And, once I found out that the casualty list is going to be relatively low, I allowed myself the guilty pleasure of wondering what the kind of eco-loons described in this article... .

100%, 24 carat AGW-hyping bollocks

.. who I have had the pleasure of meeeting in 'Godszone', are going to make of the growing realisation that they've fled the entirely hypothetical threat of man made climate change in Britain and have settled down on a group of islands which sit directly over the meeting point of two fucking great tectonic plates

Personally, I was a totally up for it and about five minutes after arriving had secured enough supplies and equipment to see me through anything but a direct hit, along with suitable camera equipment to record the ghastly and hopefully highly photogenic aftermath

But to move down there because you think it would be some kind of safe haven from environmental catastrophe?

That says an awful lot about the level of ignorance of one subset of the AGW crowd .

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Well, it could have happened...

Went to see the All Blacks play Italy last night

The high point of the night happened before the match actually started, when spectators were treated to an authentic and fascinating exploration of what might have happened if the Romans had ever invaded New Zealand...



The Italians lost 27-6

Next time, I suggest the visitors bring plenty of infected blankets and fire water

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Well, *I* think it's a bit strange...

It's a central tenet of 9/11 Conspiranaut Mythology that all of the debris from the WTC site was whisked off with suspicious haste and scrapped in China before any independent investigators could subject it to forensic examination

Well, except the five tonnes of the stuff someone has dumped in a quiet part Christchurch...




next to the unfortunately named Kilmore Street Bridge of all places



The pile of sacred scrap is positioned in a shady corner which is a bugger to photograph in the contrasty Kiwi light but it looks something like this...



Erected barely a year after 9/11, in a location with biff all connection with New York and its firefighters as far as I can tell, there's very possibly an interesting back story to this sculpture but I haven't the faintest idea what it is...

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And the Crazy Old Loons shall inherit the Earth...

I just got this in an email from the Mrs over at the other side of the world...

"Met an old work friend of dad's for coffee this afternoon, with dad. He has taken NZ$40,000 out of the bank and buried it in his green house. He was wondering what would happen to the banks in the UK if all the rock stars wanted to get their millions out..."

Hehe, the insane old bastard

What's he doing burying cash when he should have got his hands on some GOLD!!

You're indestructibleeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 GBP = 1.0996 1.0972 1.0953 1.0942 1.0879 1.0777 EUR and falling...

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Nowhere to run to baby. Nowhere to hide... pt .47

I've already posted a link to the following story via a comment in a previous post. I think it's worth linking to because it illustrates a couple of things...

- The assault on personal freedoms being made in the name of the bullshit 'War on Terror' is truly global

- If there aren't any Muslims on hand to justify the establishment of a police state framework virtually anyone else will do. And if they're not scary enough they're encouraged to be a bit scarier


Anti-terror squad spies on protest groups
By NICKY HAGER and ANTHONY HUBBARD
Sunday Star Times | Sunday, 14 December 2008

Police teams set up to identify terrorism threats and risks to national security are spying on protest and community groups, including Greenpeace, animal rights and climate change campaigners, and Iraq war protesters.

Police officers from the Special Investigation Group (SIG) have carried out surveillance and used a paid informer to gather information not just about planned protests but the personal lives and sexual relationships of group members.

The police informer, Christchurch man Rob Gilchrist, whose activities are revealed in today's Sunday Star-Times, was a key member of various community groups during the past decade.

He helped arrange protests and was close friends with leading campaigners, and advocated radical and illegal activities by the groups.

Last week he said he was embarrassed and sorry for what he did. The people he spied on were not security threats. "I know they are good people trying to make a better world."

Wellington human rights lawyer Michael Bott said the surveillance of peaceful groups was repugnant and "has shades of Big Brother and Soviet Russia". Surveillance of the personal lives of members of peaceful groups meant the basic right to privacy was being eroded. "It just appears fundamentally abusive and wrong."

Gilchrist was unmasked recently when his animal rights and Labour Party activist girlfriend Rochelle Rees was helping him fix his computer. She stumbled across signs of him passing information about protest groups to an anonymous email address.

This address has since been traced to two SIG officers based at the Christchurch central police station, Detective Peter Gilroy and Detective Sergeant John Sjoberg. Gilchrist privately referred to them as "Uncle Pete" and "Uncle John".

Melbourne newspaper The Age reported a similar case three months ago, where an undercover police officer had infiltrated community groups. He worked in Animal Liberation Victoria, taking part in a midnight raid on a battery hen farm, and helped organise anti-Iraq war demonstrations.

He worked for Australia's similarly named Security Intelligence Group, which is also officially focused on terrorism...


There is, of course, just a little bit of irony about state operatives monitoring NZ Greenpeace for terrorist tendencies when you recall that Greenpeace itself was the victim of state sponsored terrorism when French government agents blew up the Rainbow Warrior twenty years ago




Not that states, especially western democracies, ever actually sponsor terrorism and even if they did we'd know all about every single terrorist act they ever sponsored because we'd read about it in the newspapers. Definitely

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Political Puppets ...now available in Black

Back again

After a couple of weeks away in the Boondocks I returned home to discover that billions of people around the world appear to be gripped by post-election euphoria...

Key triumphant as Clark era ends

The astute voters of New Zealand can now look forward to a future of glittering prosperity, packed with the kind of economic 'reforms' much beloved by the likes of the IMF and the World Bank, delivered by an ex.(?) employee of the Federal Reserve

There really is nowhere to run to

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Meanwhile, in the wake of a only slightly less globally significant election, quite a few people appear to be whacking off deliriously at the prospect of America's first Blackish President

President-Elect Barack Obama

Yay!

Presumably, the people who think that Obama's election is going to change anything are the same kind of fucknuts who thought that the election of Margaret Thatcher 30 years ago heralded a new era in gender equality or who didn't feel like vomiting when exposed to the 'Things Can Only Get Better' mediawankfest that accompanied the 1997 General Election

As it happens, clips of people dancing in the Millennium Dome to 'Things Can Only Get Better' in 1997 are thin on the Internet - I suspect eternal, irredeemable shame has got something to do with it - and I've only been able to locate this partial record put up by a Labour Party droid...





One comment underneath that clip's page on Youtube really did bring out the misanthrope in me. Does any species capable of supporting even a solitary individual as stupid as this really deserve to survive...

"The Conservatives may be leading in the polls at the moment, however, would David Cameron be able to take on the world banking system like Gordon Brown has? I think not..."


Fast forward back to 2008 and anyone who expects true change for the good from a President-elect who surrounds himself with psychos like Emanuel, Volcker or Brzezinski truly is an uttter, utter fucknut

One comment I saw over at Lord P.'s blog sums up my own feelings about the US Presidential Election nicely...

"What happens when you replace a sociopathic lunatic with an eloquent, sane man who espouses the exact same policies?

The Daily Mash

A very good question imho. One we're about to find the answer to

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All not well in Middle Earth

♫ Shiny Happy People ♫

There's a distinct possibility that I'll be moving to New Zealand in a few months

It's not the easiest of countries to get a visa for as they're very picky about who they'll let in. You have to prove you don't have criminal record, prove that you have no serious chronic medical conditions and prove that you'll be able to support yourself. Oh yes, and it costs money. Lots and lots of filthy, lovely money

There is, of course, also the outside possibility that the person checking your visa application plugs your name into Google to see what they find. So I'd better be careful what I write

Imagine an anthropologist with a twisted sense of humour kidnapping the population of a fair-sized Northern English town and marooning them on a remote island in the middle of the South Pacific for 150 years ... New Zealand

Fair enough, most people say. New Zealand is after all a paradise on Earth. A completely undeveloped island(s) packed with cheery, colourful native folk, where no-one works in an office or lives in a tedious, soul-crushing suburb and everyone spends their time engaged in extreme sports and swimming with whales. A land of harmony and prosperity which has turned its back on US-led militarism and where the grass really is greener

Houses apparently cost about the same as a small family car

The Force is indeed strong in the New Zealand Tourist Board

Christchurch city centre

However, every now and again a friend will send me a link to something on the web which indicates that all is not well in the Land of the Long White Cloud

Here's an extract from today's latest arrival...


"Looks like it's as bad as London down there now!!!!! You may be interested in today's most emailed stories from Stuff.Co.NZ:

1. Blaze residents fire up at media

2. Tetraplegic man's body found in river

3. Korean tourist's body exhumed from water-logged grave

4. Company fined over $100,000 for ditch death

5. Bail for two charged with Tauranga stabbing

6. Ex-St John manager guilty of child porn charges

7. Police woman quits over assault allegation

8. Name suppression refused for sex offender

9. Two die after suspected norovirus outbreak

10. Parents tell of gentle son killed in 'heinous' attack



In the immortal words of Martha and the Vandellas, there's nowhere to run to baby, nowhere to hide...

Come to think of it, let's have that on video




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Ruthlesss Real Estate Marketing - Kiwi Style

I just heard the Mrs laughing hysterically in another room whilst surfing for property in New Zealand

The reason for the laughter was a series of pictures underneath the title 'Nan and Pop are moving on' found on an estate agent's website....

(Oblongs of Anonymity added by Yours Truly)

something tells me that these people are really keen on selling their place

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and whilst on the subject of property sales, a subject painfully close to my heart at the moment, a quick maths lesson for the prime minister and journalists...

• If a £100,000 property increases in value by 180% that property becomes worth £280,000

• To fall back in value to £100,000 that £280,000 property only has to lose 64% in value

That's the funny thing about percentages - the bigger the number you apply them to the bigger the result.

Most of the media coverage given to recent house price movements seems to be unaware of that little fact

...and it's also worth bearing in mind that a 2.5% fall in a month is equivalent to a 30% fall in a year

This may not come as a surprise to some but our Prime Minister is either innumerate, delusional or a deceitful sack of crap

Another interesting number quirk to bear in mind is that no-one in their right mind, unless they are in desperate need, is going to pay the current market price for a house or any other commodity if they think it is going to fall in value as soon as they've bought it. People are only going to be prepared to pay what they think the eventual bottom price is going to be, less a little bit more to be on the safe side. They are going to be aiming straight for the bottom price and not pissing around gradually paying a little less month on month

The upshot is that when commodity prices collapse, particularly prices driven up by insane levels of speculation, they collapse big and they collapse fast

...and any financial journo-whore who wrote over the last five years about the probability that houses prices would level off and 'plateau' should be given the boot - which would be pretty much all of them

...and as for the media whores parroting the new line which is now being spun, that house price falls are actually a good thing - as they make homes more affordable for first time buyers and reduce 'upgrade' costs for people already on the property ladder, they also need a damned good slapping

The consequence of a house price fall for anyone who has bought a home in the last five to ten years is that they owe a shit load of money to the banks which they'll be paying off for the next 20+ years for which they effectively received nothing in return

First time buyers are still going be locked out of the market by banks refusing them loans and preferring to punt all that public money the government has given them on the commodity and forex markets; effectively driving up the price of everything else except for houses. Potential first time buyers' jobs are also going to be at risk and their costs are also going to rise as a result of people who actually bought homes going to the wall and the impact that will have on the rest of us 'fortunate' enough not to go completely under

Everyone loses

Well, not quite everyone




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International War on Terror News Roundup - New Zealand edition

The News Zealand press - even faster with the news that matters than the BBC

A recent story from the New Zealand Herald...


Corrections boss defends 'Zaoui and Bain' lookalikes
12:00PM Saturday January 05, 2008

The Corrections Department has defended the actions of two staff members who attended a work Christmas function dressed as former prison inmates Ahmed Zouai and David Bain.

The staff members turned up as asylum seeker (and alleged terrorist) Zouai and accused murderer Bain for a themed party where head office staff dressed up as their favourite notable New Zealanders.

National Party Corrections spokesman Simon Power said the workers' choice of dress was irresponsible given their role in a government justice organisation.

However, Corrections acting chief executive Phil McCarthy told the Dominion Post newspaper the pair were juniors and not directly involved in managing offenders, even though most staff went as sportspeople.

"In the context of a staff Christmas party, I don't think it matters a jot."

It would be different if the two workers were employed as probation officers or warders, or had had contact with the former inmates, he said.

However "they're as likely to have been a clerk or information officer".

The pair were simply masquerading in costume -- "in David Bain's case it involved no more than a rather large cardigan", Mr McCarthy said.

He said he did not know how Ahmed Zaoui had dressed but said "a certain physical resemblance" was thought to have been the biggest motivation for the costumes.

New Zealand's foremost alleged familicidal murderer and leisureware icon David Bain

and for anyone not up to speed with fascinating story of David Bain you can either check out his Wikipedia entry here or, alternatively, a blog post which attempts to collate every sick joke about Bain ever cracked in New Zealand

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and commiserations to my Kiwi friends over the tragic news of the recent death of that great New Zealander and leading exponent of the national haircut - Sir Edmund Hillary



Truly the end of an era, and a reminder of more innocent times when leaving someone to die on a mountainside because you were in a bit of a hurry wasn't a prerequisite for having a movie made about your climbing exploits

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NB Connoisseurs of ballsed-up and gratuitous anti-terror raids and nonsense items labeled by police as terrorist equipment may enjoy this story which was reported in the aftermath of the truly epic series of ballsed-up and gratuitous anti-terror raids in New Zealand last year (all completely justified by the appalling toll taken by terrorists in New Zealand in recent years)...


Pensioner feels violated by police raid
5:00AM Thursday October 18, 2007

A Tauranga pensioner feels "violated" after armed police stormed his home, "trashed" the place, and left with three jackets and an air rifle.

Clive Martin, 67, said he learned from neighbours that the armed offenders squad had raided his property on Tuesday afternoon while he was out.

His home is one of dozens police are searching as part of a massive operation after the discovery of alleged weapons training camps in the Bay of Plenty.

Police have so far made 17 arrests.

Mr Martin's Redmond St home was left with a smashed window, a broken window latch and a mess in his shed after the raid. He said he was upset when he found a 20-page search warrant sitting on his table stating there "is reasonable ground for believing" there were items inside which were an offence relating to either "participating in a terrorist group", or the unlawful possession of firearms or restricted weapons.

The warrant stated the home could contain clothing from "camps" in January and June this year, which Mr Martin said he had no involvement in.

Other items suspected of being at the property are detailed on the warrant's four-page list of military-style equipment, some of which has appeared on the internet auction website Trade Me.

Mr Martin said he had no idea why his home was searched and was "gutted" police had linked him to people potentially involved in terrorist crimes.

"It is a big mystery and I feel violated. As far as I'm concerned, I've been violated," he said. "They've trashed my house. I just vacuumed it out - there's dirty mud all over the floor. They've trashed my shed, they've trashed my linen cupboard."

Police took an old oilskin jacket, a raincoat, a polarfleece jacket and magnets that he used to hold loose change. They also took an air rifle...

Part of the Polartec TerrorFleece™ range - absolutely lethal in trained and desperate hands
(though, obviously, still not a patch on the ultimate WMD that is the awesome Delta 6250 - aka 'Satan's lunchbox')

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Yes!!

"They were funny at first. But then they got out of hand and then I started to get scared"

A gang of about 50 rampaging students dressed as Santa have run amok at a cinema complex in New Zealand.

Staff said the Santas, who were apparently drunk, damaged property and frightened film-goers at the Hoyts Cinema complex in Christchurch by shouting and swearing.

Manager Derek Rive said the "hooligans" abused patrons, chanted obscenities, ripped down posters and knocked over cardboard figures advertising films.

Cinema patron Kate Gorman, 35, was waiting to see the movie "Enchanted" with her two children when the group arrived.

"They just caused absolute chaos. They kicked over the signs, kicked over the Christmas tree," she said.

Her children, Gabriella, 6, and Jackson, 7, had been confused by the incident.

"Jackson said to me 'are those Santa's helpers gone crazy, mum?' I said 'no, they're just idiots, basically," said Mrs Gorman.

"They were funny at first. But then they got out of hand and then I started to get scared," said her son Jackson.

Security cameras caught the action, but Mr Rive said with their hats, white beards and suits, the rampaging Santas cannot be identified.

He said he has no objections to the group coming back but only if they obey the rules.

"Apparently they were drunk or intoxicated. If they want to come back, they're welcome to. But they have to abide by the house rules like all our patrons do," he said.

As they left, the Santas triggered a fire alarm, forcing several hundred patrons to evacuate the complex for half an hour.

© Independent Television News Limited 2007. All rights reserved.


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Getting away from it all...

One of the reasons why the output of this blog has tailed off a little recently is that I’m pre-occupied with preparing myself for a much-delayed move out of the UK in the first half of the New Year sometime.

All being well, I'm hoping to be able to get into New Zealand

I have personal reasons for trying to get in there but an awful lot of my fellow countrymen, part of the Exodus of British nationals now leaving the UK, have already made the move to New Zealand over the last few years

And if comments left under on-line newspaper articles are anything to go by, Brits moving to New Zealand and elsewhere can be broadly divided into those who are leaving because they believe Britain is filling up with ghastly foreign terrorist immigrants and those who are leaving Britain because they believe it is becoming some kind of fascist Dystopian police state.

I suspect both groups are in for a bit of a disappointment, as the signs are that the shit that’s been going down in the UK is going to be rolled out all over the developed world sooner rather than later

We’re just a little bit ahead of the curve. That’s all

Taking the financial system in New Zealand for example; personal debt, house prices and trade deficits have been pushed to extreme limits by the same bankers’ games that have been played here in the UK, the US, Spain and elsewhere. The end result will be greater social inequality and establishment of a form of neo-feudalism where the essentials of Life – food, water, housing - will be under the monopolistic control of the Few. Ten years ago I would have written off such ideas as Loontalk™. Now, all I have to do is look around

Or how about the War on Terror and the creation of a police state thing? Surely, a small little country like New Zealand would be immune? OK, New Zealand has been a handy source for Mossad operatives looking to obtain fake passports by impersonating severely disabled people...

Mossad agents pretending to be nationals from another country!!? Unthinkable...

...but, aside from that and the occasional exploding Greenpeace vessel (state-sponsored terrorism so that's OK), what does the Land of the Long White Cloud have to do with the Global War on Terror? Would such an out of the way place need to get involved and start rolling out all sorts of new anti-terror legislation?

After all, people keep telling me how really, really quiet it is there...

But apparently New Zealand does need new anti-terror laws, and hundreds of police officers devoted to waging the eternal, and somewhat loosely defined, War on Scariness…

New Zealand activists held after terror raid

A terrorist training camp was uncovered in New Zealand yesterday after police made a series of raids targeted on Maori extremists.

Tame Iti, a key activist in the fight for Maori independence, was arrested

More than 300 officers took part in the operation, arresting 17 people. A variety of weapons was seized, including firearms.

The most high profile arrest was that of Tame Iti, a Maori radical from the Tuhoe tribe, who comes from the thickly forested Urewera mountains of North Island where the camp was found. Mr Iti, 55, who advocates full Maori independence, appeared in court charged with possession of a firearm and petrol bombs.

A paramilitary group calling itself the Freedom Fighters had been training at the camp. Some reports suggested that their presence was disclosed when they tested napalm, a deadly petrol-based concoction used by US forces during the Vietnam War...

Napalm-spurting Maori radical, Tame Iti

not to be confused with Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond...

and, yes, in a fashion now traditional in the UK it subsequently turned out that much of the story was bollocks and those charges which are going to be pressed will be under the terms of legislation that existed long before New Zealand’s new anti-terror laws

The point is that it doesn’t matter who the terrorists are; Muslim or Maori, animal libbers or eco-freaks, or whether they represent a credible threat which genuinely warrants legislating rights away from the entire population. The point is that all over the developed world governments are grasping at any opportunity to put new draconian laws on their books. Laws which are being implemented in such a manner and often on the basis of such flimsy pretexts that it’s not so incredible to start thinking that there may be a degree of co-ordination involved

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As luck would have it a few days after the arrests in New Zealand a guy called John Key was making a presentation to a group of ex-patriot New Zealand professionals living in London

Key is the leader of the New Zealand National Party and is effectively the Leader of the Opposition in New Zealand

Billed as being a ‘Self-Made Man’ in the kind of mould that Kiwis respect, Key’s ‘Self-Made’ his fortune in the banking industry and sat on the New York Federal Reserve bank prior to his return home in 2001 to pursue a political career

Hmmm, the Federal Reserve ...my favourite

My Other Half was in attendance at Key's talk and without going into too much detail Key devoted much of his presentation to extolling the virtues of the kind of government policies, relating to private sector provision of public services and increased labour 'flexibility', that have become familiar fare to us in the UK plc. He also buys into the War on Terror paradigm big time and is prone to kissing US Neocon arse

If anyone in New Zealand politics is the globalist-anointed future leader of that country Key appears to be that man

At the end of his presentation he received questions from the audience. One guy nervously put up his hand and said something like…

‘I’m returning home soon and the big concern that I have is that New Zealand is looking like it’s going the same way as the UK with a lot more surveillance and assaults on civil rights. What’s your take on that?’

Key didn’t seem particularly keen on answering but was spared the effort by several dozen people in the audience laughing at the guy who asked the question as if he were a nutter...

My Mrs was still feeling guilty when she came back home hours later for not having approached the guy afterwards to let him know that he wasn't alone and that she didn't think he was mental

All things considered, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a possible move to NZ whatsoever

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(On the plus side it was heartening to read this story recently…

“NZ women most promiscuous: survey”

New Zealand women have the most sexual partners in the world, according to a global sex survey reported on Saturday...

though seeing this clip of New Zealand’s hottest new weather forecasters in action took the edge off the news slightly…

The Weather Angels - New Zealand's fiendish scheme to deter reactionary bastards planning to flee deteriorating social standards in the UK

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Who will save us now?

Tupperware fans around the world will be stunned to discover that New Scotland Yard Anti-Terrorism Superhero DAC Peter Clarke Kent has just announced his retirement…


However, given that Clarke is only a fresh-faced 52 years old, it is likely that his razor sharp intellect and ace anti-terror skillz will be much sought after and put to good use in the private sector

It seems only fair that Peter collects a reward for his part in fighting the Eternal War on Terror

The awesome 'Delta 6250' aka Satan's Lunchbox - (with lid)

Peter has shared much of his wisdom and sage philosophy with us over the years, including this favourite quote which I think encapsulates so much about the way the Eternal War on Terror is being fought on our streets…

"It is no exaggeration to say that at the time of the arrest there was not one shred of admissible evidence against Barot. The arrest was perfectly lawful - there were more than sufficient grounds, but in terms of evidence to put before a court, there was nothing. There then began the race against time to retrieve evidence from the mass of computers and other IT equipment that we seized. It was only at the very end of the permitted period of detention that sufficient evidence was found to justify charges. I know that some in the media were sharpening their pencils, and that if we had been unable to bring charges in that case, there would have been a wave of criticism about the arrests. Barot himself of course eventually pleaded guilty last year and received a 40-year sentence."

Finding a replacement of equal calibre to Peter Clarke is going to be a nigh impossible task but if we want to continue preserving Western Civilisation by handing out life sentences to the mentally ill and people with suspicious kitchenware collections that successor has to be found




As an anonymous commentator opined by way of verse elsewhere…


Lines on the Retirement of DAC Peter Clarke

So. Farewell
Then Deputy Assistant Commissioner Peter Clarke.

You were
In charge of protecting Royalty when
Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997.

You were
In charge on July 7, 2005 when
bombs killed 52 people in the rush hour on the public transport system.

You were
In charge on July 22, 2005 when
An innocent Brazilian was killed,
With eleven shots spaced three seconds apart,
He was shot seven times in the back of the head
With bullets that left his face unmarked,
And once in the shoulder. The other three shots missed.

"Not on my watch",
That was your
Catchphrase.

My money
Is on Cressida Dick.

(E.J. Thribb 77 and a half)

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and whilst on the subject of tWoTs and suspicious things in the kitchen, imagine my slight confusion the other day when browsing the Internet in search of a reasonably priced (i.e. cheap) bottle of plonk to order for someone in New Zealand and coming across this...



"In Australia, cleanskin wine is a term for bottled wine that does not carry a label or any other identifying marks. Cleanskin wines are sold in sealed cartons of six or twelve bottles and the carton must display a label that meets the minimum legal requirements as defined by Australian law.

Cleanskin wines have been sold in Australia since at least the early 1960's but are generally only popular during periods of imbalance in the Australian domestic wine market. Wineries will sell cleanskins to dump excess or unwanted wine stocks and do so to avoid the negative consequences of discounting their existing brands. This form of dumping often has very little to do with the quality of the wine and consumers can benefit greatly however there is always an element of risk when purchasing cleanskins.

In recent times, "cleanskins" have become equated with Australian terroir. Cleanskins are often sold based on region of origin rather than by winemaker or brand. Retailers will charge a premium for certain varietals from certain regions such as Riesling from the Clare Valley or Shiraz from the Barossa Valley"

Faceless Terroir Wine

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Peculiar entry requirements

Yesterday the Mrs was doing a little surfing on my behalf, checking up on the New Zealand visa application process.

The Kiwi embassy in London is located in the inventively titled 'New Zealand House'.

- as is, she discovered, a speciality Bed and Breakfast in Fort Lauderdale, Florida...

New Zealand House

I particularly recommend their 'rates' page, complete with a totally baffling picture of a hairy naked man standing behind a bush




Cruising through the New Zealand House site brought back amusing memories of a very entertaining couple of days in Key West where a similar dress code is in force.

It's worth noting in passing that, as well as being home to an unfeasibly large number of Ernest Hemingway look-alikes and a gay scene that leaves San Francisco looking limp-wristed in comparison, Key West is also home to that international ambassador for brotherly love and understanding David Irving (a man whose many lifetime achievements do not include being granted a New Zealand visa).

That fact that Irving chose to make a home in Key West of all places totally blows out of the water the old myth that Nazis are repressed homosexuals whose denial of their own nature has sent them insane.

Not Gay

There is no moral to this tale. Other than the fact that hairy naked men standing behind bushes are a lot funnier than invading Poland

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