The Smallest Policeman in the World - The Sequel

Small Copper, Big Mullet

A week or so ago there was a spurt of outraged tutting about the story of a British street photographer arrested in Kent under Section 44 of the Terrorism Act

What interested me in particular was the photographer's account of comments made by one of the police officers who arrested him...

"For a further 5-10 minutes I stood in the street in full view of passers by handcuffed and accompanied and intermittently spoken to by officers xxxxx and xxxxx. Whilst sharing their views about the threat of terrorism officer xxxxx stated she had felt threatened by me when I took her picture. I cannot recall exactly what she said but I do recall her referring to my size and inferring she found it intimidating at the time (I am 5ft 11in and weigh about 12 stone)"

...which reminded me of something that happened to me a couple of years ago when I was photographing a demonstration in Whitehall (as per a longish post I made at the time here).

Cutting a long story short I was on the receiving end of a totally unlawful bout of harassment from an under-sized WPC who kept closing in on my personal space, under the watchful eye of half a dozen over-sized police officers not too far away.

It got to the point where I had to repeatedly back-off with my hands in the air, just on the outside, maybe not that outside, chance that I was accused of assault and had the crap kicked out of me; as I had already seen happen to another unfortunate half an hour before

All in the course of protecting the public from evil doers and trouble-makers, no doubt

My potential victim clearly knew what she was doing, as did I

These two stories, in turn, reminded me of the adventures of the Smallest Policeman in the World (actually, I've seen a couple, not just one) who gets wheeled out at select demonstrations and staged photo-opportunities featuring large, scary Muslims - especially recent converts with intriguing CVs




Does the Met have a conscious policy of using short-arses and women to make radical IslaMI5ts look scarier and photographers or other persons of interest look like dangerous thugs ?

Fucked if I know

But, speaking as someone who's been on the receiving end of some seriously dodgy behaviour, I have my concerns. The Metropolitan Police started losing my trust with this kind of provocation, plus the occasional public execution, long ago

Be warned

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Zeitgeist

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First they came for the smokers...

I went for a long walk around North Central London today - Islington, Hackney, Tower Hamlets

And I saw dozens and dozens of the same poster plastered all over phone boxes and bus stops

This poster...



there's also a link to a related wesbite

www.dirtypig.org

Last night I got involved in an extended, extended by me anyway, chat with someone in the comments under one of my posts on the subject of big government vs small government

I maintained that the relative size of government is an irrelevance and a distraction from more significant concerns

I would, however, argue that when government starts spunking money taken off people under threat of imprisonment (i.e. tax) on expensive cross-media marketing campaigns which tell those same people that they are dirty pigs then, yes, the people employed doing that are probably better employed in a private sector sweatshop - preferably somewhere nasty .

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This 21st Century Marketing is a very sophisticated business

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What do you think you are? Some kind of a comedian?

'Austrian Clown' Arrested

Austrian artist Christian Eisenberger (1978) was arrested on Monday by the Metropolitan Police on the corner of Bishopsgate and New Street in the City of London. After a brief interrogation he was released, carrying parts of his outfit in a plastic bag.

Eisenberger, who is well known in Austria for his sculptures and performances in public spaces as well as for performances in the middle of nature, was walking on Bishopsgate, wearing a clown's outfit, when a member of the public alerted the police. Most probably, the reason for this was that Eisenberger wore not only a typical clown's costume with the appropriate clown's make-up, but also carried a belt around his waist fitted with brightly coloured artificial explosives.




Eisenberger, who was visiting London for 48 hours, commented that he knew that the walk through London would fail at a certain point, but to his surprise his visits to Downing Street, Parliament Square, the new Saatchi Gallery and the Tate Modern went unchallenged. The public responded with amusement and while some members of the public raised eyebrows, none of the security guards at the various sites took action.

However his freedom as a clown ended when he was spotted by members of staff at the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) who stood outside smoking cigarettes.

Minutes later, exactly 20 footsteps away from the police station at Bishops Gate near Liverpool Street Station, eight policemen surrounded Eisenberger, handcuffed him, and led him to the nearby police station, having relieved him of his red clown's wig and red nose. Where the same performance earlier this year in Vienna caused only amusement, it goes without saying that walking through London's financial centre in an 'explosive clowns costume" will draw not only reactions by the public, but also by the police who will react swiftly.




Perhaps in these chastened times, tragicomic figures will draw attention and will make people stop and think. The irony of this event is that the clown 'Eisenberger' was not only being a clown but he also seemed to be a potential threat to the public. HVS December 2008

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21st Century Communication

Not one of my snaps unfortunately...




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Welcome to Helloway

Fans of the sublime beauty of North London's Holloway Road might appreciate this quality signage seen outside an ex(?) squat the other day...

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Yet another fair and impartial inquiry begins

One of my preoccupations in life, and therefore of this blog, is trying to identify and record the kind of legitimate questions which support perfectly healthy and rational scepticism of 'Official Narratives'

I personally don't offer people, here or in real life, much in the way of fully-formed alternative narratives as, much of the time, my doubts arise due to the absence of sufficient information to form any.

My problem with 'Official Narratives' is that they are promoted as being the definitive end of a story and used to justify assertions that no further investigation is required; when I often have grounds to believe nothing could be further from the truth

The inquest into the execution of Jean Charles de Menezes is now, finally, under way

A website has been set up to publish transcripts and other material from the inquest here

It's early days yet but it's already clear that much of the hearing will be preoccupied with the alleged case of mistaken identity which resulted in de Menezes' execution

LWTC247

As it happens, the mainstream media has already decided what happened that day and routinely refers to the reason that Menezes was shot as being because he was mistaken for a known terrorist




There are plenty of inconsistencies in the Official Narrative of that day - surveillence tapes went missing and were erased, log books were retrospectively changed, dubious eye witnesses appeared on television that morning talking about de Menezes wearing heavy clothing and behaving suspiciously, the head of the police went on television claiming that de Menezes was a terrorist long after he would have known otherwise, due process was obstructed...

Everything about that Official Narrative stinks

But here is, what me for is the most disturbing flaw in the Official Narrative...

De Menezes was wearing thin clothing and wasn't carrying anything

A possible case of mistaken identity is arguably totally irrelevant and at best secondary to the question of whether shooting someone in public was a criminal act or not

Even if de Menezes was a wanted terrorist, public gunplay would only be justifiable if he was carrying something that could have honestly been mistaken for a bomb

That's the alleged case of mistaken identification that most needs investigating here

I await the inquest's detailed discussion of this question with bated breath

because if it's now OK to blow people away in public for being suspected bombless bombers it's now OK to blow anybody away

In the meantime I'm off to buy some stick-on bullet holes and to top up my Oyster card



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A fascinating new passtime

I've spent most of my spare time over the last few weeks hoofing around London trying to walk off a few pounds - ten or more miles at a time

This can get a little boring at times and I've been casting around for something to spice up my walks.

Photography is always a good stand-by but the weather, and the lighting, has been pretty rubbish of late

And then, the little GPS unit I use to mark out my routes and record my walks inspired me to think about participating in the vibrant geocaching community




Geocaching involves hiding waterproof containers containing a logbook and treasure (i.e. some plastic crap), the location of which you post on the web, for other people who are into that sort of thing to find with the aid of GPS




When you find a cache you leave an entry in the logbook, maybe take a picture, and swap some crap you brought with you for some of the crap in the box




For obvious reasons, geocachers have to be careful when searching for caches and ensure that members of the general public don't see the caches and trash them

For equally obvious reasons, a moment's thought will suggest that geocaching has the potential to get you into all sorts of interesting situations and zany adventures; involving as it does -

• lurking around and behaving furtively in parks and other public places

• hiding tupperware boxes in those parks and public places

• walking around town with a backpack, a camera and a handheld GPS

• having the lamest of excuses for what you are doing when challenged by members of the public or the security forces

The emphasis on the tupperware boxes is, in particular, a stroke of genius




An interesting side-effect of of geocaching is that maps of cache locations offer an interesting insight as to where cachers feel comfortable enough to hide sealed tupperware boxes without running the risk of being shot. The maps are, in effect, a rough indicator of 'security' hot and cold spots

Central London's extensive network of caches thins out considerably near places like Buckingham Palace, Parliament Square, Waterloo Station and Canary Wharf but I can't help noticing that there's a heap of caches in and around The City proper

Someone should be told

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Bread and Circuses

Anyone who knows a little about the kind of fruity little clubs and belief systems popular with our ruling classes will have some sympathy with Lord Patel's reservations about the corporate-sponsored wankfest that was yesterday's Olympic handjobover ceremony...

"There is something sinister about the heady state sponsored chauvinism which we can be assured will be relentlessly aimed at us for four years"

C'mon Everybody!! Let's have a Visa™ party!!

All that choreographed veneration of flags and torches is entirely reminiscent, and not accidentally, of Nazi Era iconography, and something much older than that

Coincidentally, as part of a personal regime to get fit enough to qualify for a visa to get the fuck out of here long before the Illuminated Fascistic Horror that will be London 2012, I walked down the length of the River Lea in East London and through the 2012 Olympic site a couple of days ago

There's a lot of building work going on and plenty of publicity material slapped up on the walls to remind passers-by, or rather not remind passers by, of the massive exercise in dissonant doublethink which has the likes of McDonalds, Coke and Visa investing heavily in sponsoring an event which purports to represent everything that they are not

Official Olympic 'Partner' logos

Not Official Olympic 'Partner' logo

Whilst in the area I checked out Hackney Marshes, home to no less than 88 full size amateur league football pitches and arguably London's most iconic monument to the supposed Olympian amateur sporting ideal - something which wasn't lost on Nike...





The fact that the Marshes are going to be smothered in delicious concrete and turned into a car park for the Olympics says it all really




Cue the Joni Mitchell...





...though comparing Hackney Marshes with Paradise might be pushing things, just a little

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I don't think we're in Lambeth anymore, Toto

not Lambeth

It's been a quiet few days on this blog recently.

Largely down to the fact that I've been busy packing up and moving out of my home

And that's it for me and South London

Lambeth

I only mention this now as a courtesy to people who have been kind enough to stop by here and share their comments and links (thanks)


All being well, postings to this blog will be patchy and sporadic for a while now as I cast around looking for somewhere a little less oppressive and, um, stabby to relocate to

and here's a pic of my last(?) view of Lambeth as the doors closed on the tube taking me to the frozen wastelands north of the Thames...



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Funny F*ckers

Seen in Stockwell Underground Station today...




The station is festooned with the things - including one placed tastefully on the platform directly opposite where JCdM was executed


edit: coincidentally, my North of England correspondent sent me this picture taken in Rochdale station today whilst I was typing this post up...

hmmm, mucho synchronisticomente

and remember, it's only subliminal if you're deaf, dumb and f**king blind

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Snoozy Bo-bos

There was a hell of a racket today as a convoy of fuel protesters' lorries, horns blaring, trundled through my neck of the woods heading towards Westminister...




Loud they might have been but not loud enough to wake up the two blokes who parked outside my front door in a officially authorised clamperwagon for a refreshing little nap...




hmmm, taking on a horde of hairy out of town truckers or snoozy bo-bos?

tough call

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and, in other London transport related news, is it just me or is there the faint whiff of goatse about this new Tube poster...



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Hooray for Bojo!

So, Johnson it is then

Excellent news

Maybe now, after ten long years of having their heads up their arses, alleged Left Wingers might start to recognize fascism when they see it

Because, apparently, if the Labour party embroils this country in hegemonistic wars, turns over essential pubic services to corrupt private contractors, kisses criminal oligarch arse, trashes centuries old rights and liberties and tapes CCTV cameras to our grannies that is NOT fascism

So, maybe if the Tories take over responsibility for administering all this stuff maybe a few more people will f**king well wake up

The members of the political class, from either side of the fake divide, have a lot more in common with each other than with the people they supposedly represent but there are still are plenty of Muppets out there who still don't get it

Johnson is a Tory alright, through and through, and he is clever, ambitious and, I suspect, capable of ruthlessness

So, who are the buffoons? Johnson or the people who thought that repeatedly accusing him of being an idiot was a winning strategy?

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Ciao Ken, it's been wonderful

Immediately after the 7/7 bombings Ken Livingstone made a speech which, aside from the usual egocentric self-promotion, veered dangerously towards the statesmanlike and the humane...

"I want to say one thing specifically to the world today. This was not a terrorist attack against the mighty and the powerful. It was not aimed at Presidents or Prime Ministers. It was aimed at ordinary, working-class Londoners, black and white, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Jew, young and old. It was an indiscriminate attempt to slaughter, irrespective of any considerations for age, for class, for religion, or whatever.

That isn't an ideology, it isn't even a perverted faith - it is just an indiscriminate attempt at mass murder and we know what the objective is. They seek to divide Londoners. They seek to turn Londoners against each other."

I almost respected him for a moment

but aside from that it's been business as usual under cuddly Ken...

• money spunked on monstrously crooked public-private 'partnerships'
  
  
• that fraudulent Olympic bid
  
  
• the ridiculous congestion charge which has achieved very little aside from lining contractors' pockets and making the roads a little less congested for the rich
  
  
• outright graft and corruption, not least the supremely dodgy Brixton Base project. I can, wait for it (reaches for camera), see the now empty 'Base' out of my front window and I believe that, twat that he is, Andrew Gilligan sussed it out pretty fair and square
  
  

The Brixton money pit

• and, above all, the pure and simple arrogance of power. Anyone who has watched the contempt with which Livingstone has treated the elected assembly to which he should have been accountable should have been appalled at his behaviour

I can honestly say the time I took out of my day to vote against Livingstone yesterday was one of the most rewarding ways I have found to spend fifteen minutes of my life

even my local (Labour) MP thinks Ken's a twunt

this 'at least Labour's better than the Tories' crap doesn't wash any more, even if it ever did, which I doubt very much.

In many, many ways, the current shower of bastards have managed to outshine even Thatchler

The Labour party died and was resurrected as a zombie puppet fifteen or more years ago and it's about time a few more people realised that

Bye bye Ken. It's looking like (fingers crossed) you're unemployed now but something tells me that you won't be short of a bob or two

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and in related news, here's that clip of Richard Littlejohn bitchslapping that most supremely annoying of Champagne Socialists/ Limousine Liberals Polly Toynbee - as great an enemy of ordinary people as any Tory grandee or fascistic rabble rouser...



When it comes to a toss-up between the likes of Littlejohn or Toynbee I definitely choose neither

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I bet you're a big Thunderbirds fan aren't you...

An interesting wee vehicle I saw near the Elephant and Castle, on Borough High Street yesterday...


...which presumably enables patrolling officers to to keep an eye on their 'My E-Bay' screens and to check if anyone has confessed to any crimes on Facebook 24/7 (edit: or grooming teenagers)

And when they get thirsty they can summon Teapot 1 with instant messaging...



Surely, it's only a matter of time before someone starts producing a collectible range of scale models of all these fabulous new vehicles the Met is putting on the streets

The Metropolitan Police's new mole machine - shortly to be unleashed on the honeycomb of Al Qaeda tunnels which almost certainly exist underneath London

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Whilst at the Elephant and Castle yesterday I availed myself of a copy of the South London Press and I was put out to discover that its latest headline was actually nothing to do with today's mayoral election :(



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And whilst on the subject of the Elephant and Castle and scrupulously incorruptible public officials, the good news for local residents is that the long anticipated regeneration of the area is now finally about to commence.

The Elephant and Castle Shopping Centre is, and always has been since it was built in 1965, legendarily grim. The E&C is also the focal point of some of most ghastly and gargantuan human filing cabinets ever constructed outside of Moscow.

And in 40 years just about the only thing anyone did to improve the place was to give it a coat of pink paint

But now, after waiting patiently for so long, it would seem that local independent shopkeepers at the E&C are about to receive their just reward and be regenerated, good and hard

There are loads of these all over shops in the E&C...




...though Tescos didn't have one up in their window so nothing too dodgy or unfair can be going on

I grew up just down the road from the E&C, near to Borough Market and regeneration did wonderful things for the local fruit and veg stall holders there. They were regenerated so well that they were transformed into completely different people selling expensive but authentic cockney delicacies such as venison burgers, sea bass and chorizo (the wikipedia entry for Borough Market really is something else - no PR spin there, none whatsoever, c*nts)

I expect equally fantastic results from the porky corruption fest that is and always was going to be the 2012 London Olympics. Local people can look forward to being regenerated all the way to some other rundown shit hole until somebody wants to make some money knocking that down in another 20 or 30 years

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May Day foolishness

The people behind stuff like this...



and this



are organising a little party in London tomorrow...




or rather two parties...


May Day Meeting Points:

1) Space Hijackers, Peasants, Aristocracy, Performers, Merchants, Peddlers, Strumpets and Virgins:-

Meet in Green Park by Green Park tube, we will then head off to the May Fayre at 2:03pm promptly.

2) Metropolitan Police, Fools, Soldiers and Vagabonds:-

Meet outside Bond Street tube station, we will then head off to the May Fayre at 2:34 promptly.

Please note it is very important you do not join the wrong meeting point, otherwise you will look like a total fool!


...and even though I suspect many Spacejackers would probably consider me mad because I believe all the shit that's going on is implemented in pursuit of a planned objective

...and even though I don't think their pranks achieve very much, if anything

I still wish them well if for no other reason than they seem decent and they make me laugh

and if taunting coppers really could change the world I'd be striding up and down Whitehall wearing a pair of plastic tits with the best of them

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Subterranean Stockwell part 5

A few shots of one of the entrances to the Stockwell Deep Level Shelter I took today on account of it being all sunny outside and all...







The font of all knowledge that is Eraserpedia doesn't know what the shelter is used for today.

The Grauniad reckons it does know

And whilst on the subject of underground goings on around and under Stockwell Tube Station, what an excellent opportunity for a blast from the past and a reminder of a story from way back as far as 22nd July 2005...

"The driver of the London Underground train involved in the latest terrorist scare was chased by armed police and had a gun held to his head as he tried to escape the scene of today's shooting, union officials have claimed. The driver started running along an underground tunnel as passengers were fleeing from Stockwell Tube station following the shooting of a suspect."

In a parallel universe someone working for a newspaper would have chased up this little gem and started asking questions like 'Why after shooting the suspect they'd tailed into the station did the police (sic.) start running up and down tunnels jamming pistols into London underground employees' faces?' or 'What does the driver have to say about what happened?'

In this universe, however, no-one has asked any questions and, to my knowledge, the story was killed stone dead

Which seems appropriate really

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Return of the Enviro-Crime scene (aka An Inconvenient Couch)

A welcome return to an old favourite, seen stuck to a discarded sofa today -





This bollocks is so wrong in so many different ways it's difficult to know where to start...

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Happy Birthday War

A belated link to this cheerful ditty celebrating the fifth anniversary of the invasion and occupation of Iraq....

Notable, for me anyway, for fact that the original footage used in the video features a chunky bearded bloke prancing about and doing a Cher impression around and on that old tank off the Old Kent Road which has become something of a South London landmark

Filmed in South London

NOT filmed in South London

My favourite urban camouflage scheme of the several that have been tried out on that tank so far is this one...




If the someone would only have added a can of bastard-strength lager dangling from the turret somewhere it would have passed off as a local and blended in with the area perfectly

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