Saturday, June 30, 2007

Take two suicide bombers into the car with me? I just want to crash and blow

There's an absolutely fantastic assessment of the terror threat now facing the UK in tomorrow's News of the World, written by former London Police Commissioner John Stevens. A special sneak preview can be found here...

"Make no mistake, this weekend's bomb attacks signal a major escalation in the war being waged on us by Islamic terrorists,"

"The terror of July 7 was awful enough, but now al-Qaeda has imported the tactics of Baghdad and Bali to our streets. And it will get worse before it gets better."

"The involvement, influence and even leadership of al Qaeda veterans both from abroad but also now on the ground in Britain has grown significantly,"

"It is a sign of the new maturity and sophistication of al Qaeda in Britain that they have moved to this car bomb style campaign."

"And make no mistake -- strike again they will."

No doubt, the masterminds behind 'Al Qaeda', whoever they may be, are profoundly grateful to John Stevens for boasting about the the tremendous power of their organisation and doing his best to scare the crap out of the people of Britain on their behalf

Who are the terrorists again?

Though I think Johnny is jumping the gun a little bit with the line 'imported the tactics of Baghdad and Bali to our streets' - unless the streets of Baghdad and Bali are under attack from suicide bombers who strike in pairs, have no bombs and pour petrol all over themselves instead.

Buddhist suicide bombers?

Some very peculiar things have happened this last day or so and the establishment is running the risk of overplaying its hand. Those who believe in a Melanie '
EVERYONE hates Jews when they should be hating Muslims instead!!' Phillips style Muslim Menace don't need any further convincing. Those of us who don't are starting to think that, as nobody was killed, they might be able to get away with joking about how crap today's supposedly 'mature' and 'sophisticated' attack was

A word of warning though. Anyone writing a spoof headline (and it was a very good spoof headline) like...

...on a Friday runs a very real risk of having their joke blow up in their face, or at least burn a little bit, on a Saturday

('borrowed' from 'The Daily Mash')



The Antagonist said...

Your juxtaposition of photos into the piece was excellent.

The beast hath barked, twice. Quietly, for now, at a time when the new guard adopts its position.

A fitting, if a little cryptic, headline might be, literally: 'Power surges'

Anonymous said...

I'm really struggling to make any sense of these incidents. Both seem totally bizarre and nonsensical, either as real 'suicide' attacks or something more suspicious. Are they just trying to confuse the fuck out of everyone?

paul said...

They seem to be importing the tactics and methods of bottled gas delivery men.
There is no way these can be described as bombs as they can't explode.
They also seem to be importing, with a little more success, the methods of the united kingdom's dangerous driving community which account for about ten deaths a day

Tony said...

Police and securocrats know that there aren't enough real terrorists in the world, which is why they have to keep manufacturing them.

Tony said...

And the link to the adverts at the register is nice:
"Find your perfect job - click here from thousands of tech vacancies"

SteveW said...

From the Times online

"Ashraf Marwan, son-in-law of the late President Nasser, was found dead outside his flat in St James’s Park, Central London, on Wednesday. He had been fearing for his life after he was named as a spy for Israel, an allegation he denied"
I didn't hear about that story up here in the north.How about you Londoners?
Of course suggesting these latest bomb failures are burying a m*ss*d spys impact crater is dangerous anti-semitic thoughtcrime.So don't do it.Get thee to conspiraloon central.

The Antagonist said...

For those that haven't seen it yet, and especially for anyone a little confused by the madness of recent events that all come as we roll towards the second anniversary of 7/7, may I recommend a bit of heavy-going but entirely worthwhile reading material which helps provide some context, in the form of:

On Terrorism and the State, by Gianfranco Sanguinetti

Wolfie said...

Meanwhile things are warming up in Spain where following ETA's termination of their long-standing ceasefire a bomb has been discovered in Ibiza. However this has got most Spanish people scratching their heads as the Bask Separatists have been getting their demands met by the current Spanish government and ETA have strong ties with the authorities in the Balearic's.

We live in strange days [many Spanish still believe that the current [new] administration assisted the terrorists in the execution of the Madrid bombing].

Stef said...

I didn't hear about that story up here in the north.How about you Londoners?

Nope, not here. Maybe it made it big in the Midlands?