Saturday, June 02, 2007

On Conspiraloons™ Two

Someone has just reminded me of an article in The Independent written by Man of the People and world class cunt Johann Hari explaining why people like me are mentally unwell. There's nothing new there ... David Icke ... David Shayler ... the musings of a psychologist at Royal Holloway ... but that doesn't stop him presenting his piece as if it were something original and insightful. Personally, I think Hari is at his very best when writing about smug rich people as if he wasn't one himself but this piece is still classic Hari.

Hari also appears to find nothing unusual in the fact that the much delayed inquest into Princess Diana's death has changed coroners more times than most people change their underwear and he also claims to have located a certain Blofeld-esque cave complex in Tora Bora that both the US and British military are fucked if they can find, or be sure whether it exists at all

My favourite comment about the Hari piece was made by someone else, somewhere else. And it goes something like this...

"They (conspiracy theories) are a natural attempt to rebel against the cruel randomness of life"

So said, Johann Hari ...

Cruel randomness of life? What a cunt!

There's nothing random about everyone getting up five days a week to drone off and do the same mundane job they do every day -- the same job that they fucking hate with every carbon atom in their bodies -- at precisely the same time everyone in the same timezone is doing the exactly the same thing.

There's nothing random about seeing the same shit in the newspapers day after day, nor is there anything random about watching the same shit on TV every day.

I tell you what is fucking random though, that cunts like Johann Hari can get paid to write shit about cruel randomness that doesn't fucking exist in much the same way as Johann Hari shouldn't.

To be honest, if I weren't a conspiraloon already I'd feel obliged to become one just to put as much ideological distance between myself and that unctuous, insincere creep as possible.

And apologies for the high number of swears in this post but if you start talking about Johann Hari that's going to happen

After three years, after 150,000 dead, why I was wrong about Iraq
- A melancholic mea culpa by Johann Hari

The short version = because he's a cunt



paul said...

Definition of a Hari

So full of himself there's no room for any other point of view

Though cunt'll do just as well

Anonymous said...

Actually I know Hari and he's quite a nice bloke

paul said...

Well then he's a nice bloke who acts like a cunt and cheerleads the invasion of another country

trainspotter said...

Anonymous said...

Actually I know Hari and he's quite a nice bloke

Ain't it always so, that's the trouble with cunts they always seem so nice. As in 'that nice Mr Blair'.

That's the difference between the middle class and the working class, the middle class have all the nice stuff on the outside and the shit on the inside and vice versa for the working class!

Anonymous said...

There really is nothing worse than self appointed 'experts' droning on about the psychological state of conspiracy theorists. Not believing in conspiracies is a mental illness - a sort of self imposed naivety that protects you from the realisation that your rulers are murdering criminal bastards

Apprentice said...

I think it's an awful lot more than 150k dead, isn't it? 600k is more like it, plus 3k US soldiers and about 150 of 'ours'. I haven't checked that, mind.

The Antagonist said...

If Yoyo Hair got your goat, wait until you read Yabberwocky, another outpouring from Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (who's not even remotely posh, or middle class, or in some other way superior to the rest of us plebs):

Most of what appears in cyberspace is what [Andrew] Keen [author of The Cult of the Amateur: How Today's Internet is killing our culture and assaulting our economy] terms rampant "digital narcissism".

Oh really? What an odd thing for her to say, in context, because she must have forgotten that she then writes in the same piece:

I use the net to .... propagate my own ideas and activities.

Well, pardon my ignorance for I am just a pleb, but if that's not "digital narcissism" Yas, then what is, pray tell, oh wise one.

But, being an experienced journalist, I do not use the internet as a vomit bag. My thoughts are worked over and then edited.

Ah, the trusty old 'experienced journalist' number. When all else fails, eh?

And, carefully edited? By what? A monkey? Clearly her writing is not very well edited at all or she wouldn't have outlined her own "digital narcissism" before accusing everyone else of the very same "digital narcissism" that she apparently finds so abhorrent.

Now, where have we all seen similar "digital narcissism" and behaviour in action?

Stef said...


Actually I know Hari and he's quite a nice bloke

In the article written by Hari I refer to in the post Hari declares that anyone (i.e. me, amongst others, so I take it personally) who doubts the honesty of government or believes that government and other power structures are capable of wicked acts is mentally unwell.

Which strikes me as being just a teensy wee bit Stalinist

He then goes on to say that the bad things that happen to people in this world are the result of accidents

All things considered, calling Hari the cunt that he is works for me

Amongst many other acts of dishonesty and omission in his piece he ignores the key reasons why 'conspiracy theories' are all over the place these days...

The number one reason is the existence of the Internet. Ordinary people are now able to check the veracity of the things cunts like Hari say and they are also able to research connections between people, organisations and events in a way that has never been possible before

The number two reason is that 'conspiracy theories' are now shoved down our throats every day by government and mainstream media - tales of shadowy international terrorist crime networks and non existent WMDs. Naturally enough some of us question that bullshit and then cunts like Hari write articles proclaiming that we are the nutters...

Anonymous said...

Explaining non-conformist ideas as consipracy theories is akin to explaining combustion by the phlogiston theory.

The theory never really explained anything, it simply prevented any further enquiry. For an excellent explanation read the following paragraph in the link, begining with the line ...
"One of the most famous lessons of science is the case of the phlogiston theory of chemistry."

I wonder what Hari would make of "Richard Heuer's Analysis of Competing Hypotheses"?

Chapter 8 is most probably the one that best counterpoints Hari's ignorance (and is well worth reading; it'll persuade you to read the rest of the book if you aren't shy about visiting the CIA website).

Anonymous said...

Oh no, another conspiraloon! And this time it is former ambassador Craig Murray (of course if he was a current ambassador holding these views he wouldn't be a conspiraloon).

Anyway, crackpots like Peter Dale Scott (another former ambassador), and Alfred McCoy (an academic at Wisconsin)have been saying this sort of thing for years but we've managed to ignore them; now Murray is at it.

"I had as little luck as Litvinenko in trying to get official action against this heroin trade. At the St Petersburg end he found those involved had the top protection. In Afghanistan, General Dostum is vital to Karzai's coalition, and to the West's pretence of a stable, democratic government. The truth is that the vast majority of heroin produced in Afghanistan is produced by members of the Afghan government, which our [ie British] soldiers are dying to protect.".

Sheesh, enough for google to activate their censor-China black-out software.

Shahid said...

Stef said...


even if, like Hari does, I thought slaughtering people would make the World a better place I'm not sure that he's worth a bullet

Shahid said...

@Stef - no - that's actually a blog - not by a Muslim as far as I can tell either - I just had to laugh...