Tuesday, July 05, 2005

The psychology of cat terror pt1


Following neatly from my rant that I live in a society with screwed up values, where people feed their pets foiled wrapped ‘tender Turkey Pasta & Carrots’ luxury meals whilst human beings starve, I came home to find this tied to a lamp-post outside my front door today…

Warning Cat Owners!

Our beautiful much beloved Bengal cat Sophie went missing on Sunday 26th June and was found the next day. Her head and tail had been removed and were missing. We have heard some other cats in the area have gone missing. We would like to warn all other cat owners in the area to be vigilant. Unfortunately, the police are not interested in this matter. However if you have any information please inform the RSPCA and you think you might know anything about Sophie’s case, please call us

Sophie 31.10.2002 – 26.06.2005

So, the Kennington Cat Wars have taken on a sinister, more deadly slant.

It's getting to a point where we're running short of available local lamp-post space - Wolfie, Seamus, and now Sophie. They've all shuffled off this mortal coil and gone to that big pile of kitty litter in the sky. Apparently, it would now seem, with some assistance. Elvis, the loveable old scamp, is still cheerfully doing his thing in my back yard, though not for much longer at this rate.

Some time ago I was half thinking about launching a campaign that involved me shitting on local cat owners' doorsteps, kicking their flower pots over and popping sparrow chunks into their letterboxes. However, someone else has clearly beaten me to it and taken their response level straight to Defcon 1 without pissing around with 5, 4, 3 or 2 first.

It's either that or Sophie never really existed and the poster is part of a cunning campaign to terrorise cat owners into keeping their pets indoors. Mmmmm, CIA-style psywar techniques being deployed by an aggrieved South London gardener or bird lover, now that would be intriguing...

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