Monday, September 24, 2007

Who will save us now?

Tupperware fans around the world will be stunned to discover that New Scotland Yard Anti-Terrorism Superhero DAC Peter Clarke Kent has just announced his retirement

However, given that Clarke is only a fresh-faced 52 years old, it is likely that his razor sharp intellect and ace anti-terror skillz will be much sought after and put to good use in the private sector

It seems only fair that Peter collects a reward for his part in fighting the Eternal War on Terror

The awesome 'Delta 6250' aka Satan's Lunchbox - (with lid)

Peter has shared much of his wisdom and sage philosophy with us over the years, including this favourite quote which I think encapsulates so much about the way the Eternal War on Terror is being fought on our streets…

"It is no exaggeration to say that at the time of the arrest there was not one shred of admissible evidence against Barot. The arrest was perfectly lawful - there were more than sufficient grounds, but in terms of evidence to put before a court, there was nothing. There then began the race against time to retrieve evidence from the mass of computers and other IT equipment that we seized. It was only at the very end of the permitted period of detention that sufficient evidence was found to justify charges. I know that some in the media were sharpening their pencils, and that if we had been unable to bring charges in that case, there would have been a wave of criticism about the arrests. Barot himself of course eventually pleaded guilty last year and received a 40-year sentence."

Finding a replacement of equal calibre to Peter Clarke is going to be a nigh impossible task but if we want to continue preserving Western Civilisation by handing out life sentences to the mentally ill and people with suspicious kitchenware collections that successor has to be found

As an anonymous commentator opined by way of verse elsewhere…

Lines on the Retirement of DAC Peter Clarke

So. Farewell
Then Deputy Assistant Commissioner Peter Clarke.

You were
In charge of protecting Royalty when
Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997.

You were
In charge on July 7, 2005 when
bombs killed 52 people in the rush hour on the public transport system.

You were
In charge on July 22, 2005 when
An innocent Brazilian was killed,
With eleven shots spaced three seconds apart,
He was shot seven times in the back of the head
With bullets that left his face unmarked,
And once in the shoulder. The other three shots missed.

"Not on my watch",
That was your

My money
Is on Cressida Dick.

(E.J. Thribb 77 and a half)


and whilst on the subject of tWoTs and suspicious things in the kitchen, imagine my slight confusion the other day when browsing the Internet in search of a reasonably priced (i.e. cheap) bottle of plonk to order for someone in New Zealand and coming across this...

"In Australia, cleanskin wine is a term for bottled wine that does not carry a label or any other identifying marks. Cleanskin wines are sold in sealed cartons of six or twelve bottles and the carton must display a label that meets the minimum legal requirements as defined by Australian law.

Cleanskin wines have been sold in Australia since at least the early 1960's but are generally only popular during periods of imbalance in the Australian domestic wine market. Wineries will sell cleanskins to dump excess or unwanted wine stocks and do so to avoid the negative consequences of discounting their existing brands. This form of dumping often has very little to do with the quality of the wine and consumers can benefit greatly however there is always an element of risk when purchasing cleanskins.

In recent times, "cleanskins" have become equated with Australian terroir. Cleanskins are often sold based on region of origin rather than by winemaker or brand. Retailers will charge a premium for certain varietals from certain regions such as Riesling from the Clare Valley or Shiraz from the Barossa Valley"

Faceless Terroir Wine


1 comment:

The Antagonist said...

Picture shows DAC Peter Clarke modelling the latest 21/7 bombers-with-no-bombs plastic tub, a Delta 6250, with lid, available at a hardware store near you.