Sunday, December 10, 2006

Seasons Grinchings

I had the unfortunate task of having to traverse the West End on foot with some friends last night. At one point in the evening I walked onto Oxford Street off a side street and felt a sense of panic that I haven't experienced since the first time I took a motor car onto a public road...


The Horror... the horror....


On the bright side, I did pick up a couple of new gift ideas, namely...




Betting Gift Vouchers - Brilliant! Why haven't we been able to buy these before?

and




The Liberator Motorized Attack Submarine (LMAS) - not only is it £69,999,999,970 cheaper than the Trident replacement system but unlike the Trident replacement system you can actually fire all the LMAS' weapons without having to ask the American government for permission beforehand. Lightweight, cost-effective, truly independent and just as useful as the real thing. Hamleys have got loads in stock.


A Vanguard class Trident submarine - possibly one of the most efficient ways to spunk £70,000,000,000 up against a wall so far conceived of by Man...


Some Fun Facts to remember this Christmas -

  • The typical APR on a typical credit card is currently something in the region of 16 to 20%

  • A typical Chinese factory worker earns something in the region of £30 a month for a 60 hour week

  • All parties, however much fun they may be, come to an end. And they're normally followed by a real bastard of a headache...

3 comments:

Ian said...

if there are Betting gift vouchers, we are only one step away from Prostitution gift vouchers.

t-mix said...

For christmas, buy books! Something fictional, maybe a biography of an important person. Ok, trees have to die and writers are bullied out their share of the earning by the publishers, but excpet for that, it is far better for our planet and the people living on this planet than an electronic product that will be obsolete this time next year.

Which reminds me, I wanted to buy a new notebook for myself ...

Shahid said...

If you want to see Christmas, watch Dawn of the Dead.

I witnessed that last year when I went out for a drive with a friend to the West End at midnight and Debnhams was open.

Not a single fucker had a smile on their face.

Not one.