Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Hey! Are you laughing at my watch?


Terror Watch
.
Came across this link today …
.

http://www.propagandamatrix.com/.../040105redflag.htm
.
This article claims that US department of Homeland Security has sent an advisory notice warning security staff at airports to look out for people wearing watches with built-in barometers. Apparently Al-Qaeda has been looking into buying some, along with novelty watches with built in lighters.
.
Whilst not definite proof of terrorist intent, anyone wearing gadget-boy watches in airports should be subject to 'special' treatment just to be sure.

.
The suggestion appears to be that terrorists intend to use these watches as triggers to detonate incendiary devices at pre-set altitudes.

.
I'm always up for a challenge and spent 15 minutes this afternoon trying to fabricate an IAD out of one of my several watch-altimeters, a disposable cigarette lighter and a selection of common household ingredients; mixed in just the right proportions.

.
I failed miserably. Not only could I come up with a suitable mechanical linkage between the watch and the striker on the lighter, I also couldn’t get round the problem that passenger aircraft cabins are pressurised. Even if the cabins weren't pressurised, anyone who owns one of these watches knows they never work properly anyway. Having said that, Casio watches are famous for coming with dozens of features nobody ever uses, so there is some chance that there is an 'Act as detonator for IAD' option nested three levels down in their indecipherable menu structure.

.
I eventually concluded that it would be much easier to operate the lighter with my hand, if only it wasn't nailed to the floor by the weight of the watch.

.
Now the more sceptical people out there might question the potential damage that could be caused by a functioning watch-lighter combo anyway. However, speaking from personal experience of cheap Spanish lighters with poor flame control, those babies can remove a nostril full of hair and entire eyebrows in an instant.

.
Of course, you could simply ban people taking cigarette lighters and matches onto aircraft but the Tobacco industry has ensured that that isn’t an option. Let's face it, if the US Cutlery and Nail Clipper industries had as much influence as the Tobacco business, airline passengers would still be eating with metal forks held in neatly manicured hands.
.

No comments: