Saturday, January 08, 2005

Here Doggie Doggie!


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A long time ago I was in a pub in London with some colleagues. Not friends, colleagues.
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It was a group of trainee accountants with nothing much in common aside from the fact they worked for the same firm. Someone in the group ask what animal all the others would be if they could.
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One of the women jumped in and said that she would like to be a horse, riding across open country.
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A second woman, even wetter than the first, followed up by saying that she would be a bird flying high in the sky. At first she said she'd be an eagle and then corrected herself whilst trying to come up with the name of a high-flying, but vegetarian, bird species.
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Then my mate George chipped in and said …
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'I'd like to be a stray dog on a council estate'
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and leered suggestively at the two women. The conversation petered-out quite quickly after that.
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I only mention this story because of the recent rise in the profile of 'Dogging' in the UK media. For those not familiar with this essentially British pastime, dogging involves having intercourse in a parked car in a public place in front of an audience of strangers who sometimes join in. No way! Yes way. Here's a link to a popular dogging forum
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Need I mention that because this is a link to a site for people who enjoy casual sex in car parks that it may contain material that could be considered offensive to people with different interests?
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I particularly recommend the guide to dogging rules and etiquette. After all you wouldn’t want to make a faux pas whilst watching complete strangers boffing away outside your local Sainsbury's. Advice available on the site includes …
  • Use our Forum or dogging photo ads section to arrange a meet to make sure plenty turn up!
  • Ascertain that particular spot is for you - is it mainly couples to watch or is it some gay action you're after?
  • Most of all, make sure everyone is happy and having fun.
If you do visit the site I also strongly recommend the Dogging Ads section; featuring such informative news as 'Wendy's out on Saturday'. 'I have a web cam' and 'Need a hand?'.
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At this point I could launch into a profound polemic about how activities like this illustrate the decay of British society and morality, but I won't even though that was my original intention. Partly because I'm trying to be good for a few days and not launch into polemics but mostly because, as with drinking to excess and fighting afterwards, the British have ALWAYS been into this kind of thing. Boadicea's troops were probably doing it in chariots parked outside the Londium grain market in AD 60.
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Remember this Blog when Dogging becomes an Olympic sport and Britain takes home the gold in 2012, you read about it here first.
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