Monday, July 14, 2008

Charlton Brooker, one serious tool

A little something for fellow Loons who've recommended the output of journalist/ commentator Charlie (nee Charlton) Brooker to me over the years...

(Charlton is the bloke who went on tele last year and sneered at all the people withdrawing their life savings from Northern Rock for being idiots)

Charlton is a little put out that he's started to bump into 'intelligent, level-headed people' who have doubts about the official narrative of 9/11

Only they can't be 'intelligent, level-headed people' because Charlton doesn't share their views

It's possible that the timing of Brooker's piece has something to do with the recent BBC WTC7 documentary, which I take to be excellent news

I think it's reasonable to conclude that more people now have doubts about 9/11 than did last year and by next year even more people will be on board

As for Brooker's piece itself - he shows no genuine wit or originality and quotes strictly from the pre-existing script about parapolitical conspiracies being impossible because no organisation would be competent enough to keep a large-scale conspiracy secret

All very tedious, and increasingly desperate, fare

And an interesting exercise in circular logic from someone who's supposed to be clever...

'You can't have found evidence of a conspiracy because if the conspiracy existed someone would have found some evidence'

or rather, what Charlton is really saying...

' of my journalistic-media-whore mates would have found some evidence'

and if any Brooker fans have any doubts about where he's coming from and who he's batting for, the last few lines of his piece make that pretty clear...

"Embrace a conspiracy theory and suddenly you're part of a gang sharing privileged information; your sense of power and dignity rises a smidgen and this troublesome world makes more sense, for a time. You've seen through the matrix! At last you're alive! You ARE the Emperor of Pluto after all!

Except - ahem - you're only deluding yourself, your majesty. Because to believe the "system" is trying to control you is to believe it considers you worth controlling in the first place. The reality - that "the man" is scarcely competent enough to control his own bowels, and doesn't give a toss about you anyway - is depressing and emasculating; just another day in the cardboard box factory. And that's no place for an imaginary emperor, now, is it?"

A stunning, insightful revelation which will no doubt come as a great comfort to anyone around the world who's been imprisoned for their views, works in a sweatshop or has lost the occasional limb in an airstrike



Merkin said...

Excellent stuff, big man.

Stef said...

the diet starts next week

paul said...

Officially the king of comedy cunts. Why do people like him bother poking fun at television? It doesn't get any better.
You're wasting your life, Chorlton!

Stef said...

definitely, his fearsome analytical skills would be much better spent denying the existing of coercive regimes full-time

Anonymous said...

In fairness, he's normally OK when he sticks to something he knows about like TV. Whenever he writes about politics, economics or about conspiracy theories(he's written a few of these in the last few years) he just sounds woefully misinformed and out of his depth.

Stef said...

In fairness, he's normally OK when he sticks to something he knows about like TV


but, conspiracy theories aside, it really is worth mulling over those last few lines in that article

he's denying a lot more than what people understand by the term 'conspiracies'

Anonymous said...

It's odd, because it almost, not quite, but almost reads like a spoof of these generic debunking articles you see in the press doesn't it? All the emperor of Pluto stuff is so tired and cliched you almost want to think he's being satirical.

He's not though, sadly.

paul said...

Its all boiler plate loon bashing, character defects, incompetence theory and very speculative counterfactuals.
The added 'humour' is certainly no laughing matter

Shahid said...

What happened to critical thinking? What happened to impartiality? Why do these bloody people still get read?

When even the Independent relies on you for basic investigative journalism, I have to say, we are finished as a society worthy of emulation.

As for Charlton, the tosser, well Matt Johnson again says it best:
"You see I sold my soul, to pay for my dinner.
My stomach grew fatter, but my heart grew thinner"

Maybe that's why you're off...

And why do the rest of us just run away from it?

"Through the smoke and the steam and the broken down dreams
The hope and the hunger, frustration and anger
The little drunken lives driving through the traffic lights and away from who they are"

Stef said...


anyone can get ripped off by The Independent

being used as a source for material by David Icke is the real pinnacle of my blogging career

that and being quoted as a reference in David Shayler's Eraserpedia entry (currently in at #6) - and bless whoever did that

Anonymous said...

"... just another day in the cardboard box factory. And that's no place for an imaginary emperor, now, is it?"

Er, actually. He's just made me think of something that has been bugging me for a long long while ...

Have you noticed how all these opposition types around the world are some sort official opposition types?

Who's that bird in Burma? Married to an Oxbridge nob? Anyone get the whiff of spookdom here? How about, is it Thaci? The chap who turned up at the Ramboulet (sp?) peace talks (the shambles organised by David Owen) and couldn't speak the language of the people of whom he was supposed to be a representative? Then there is that wanker in Georgia, I think they called it the Rose revolution, he was American educated.

I get Charlton's point, now. If you are a non-spook sponsored opposition leader; you can just get back to your cardboard factory. Step out of line and we'll grass you up, boil you alive even. Can't be having any real opposition in this world, can we now?

Stef said...

well, quite

Stef said...

Charlton has, however, chummied up his first name a little to emphasise his populist qualities

rob said...

just read his article.guys a prat Bill Maher wannabe.
I take no notice of assholes like this anymore,,and well The Guardian another gatekeepy creepy rag if ever there was one.

Stef said...

a prat Bill Maher wannabe

spot on

Antipholus Papps said...

"... just another day in the cardboard box factory. And that's no place for an imaginary emperor, now, is it?"

Well, Aleister Crowley said that a 'king may choose his garment at will', so who's to say?

Anonymous said...

So is it safe to say that Charlton doesn't compile Aangirfan?


Anonymous said...

Ad hominem. Be careful.

Stef said...


it seems unlikely doesn't it


Stef said...

Ad hominem. Be careful

This ad hominem thing is a interesting game

I've seen people who express doubts about what they read in the papers described as being mental defectives, retarded, supporters of terrorism, racists, neo-nazis and 'ghoulish jackals who shit on the graves of the dead'

Most of the time these are generalised insults but sometimes they are quite personal - I've experienced a little myself

Unsurprisingly, that would appear to be OK.

But woe betide any conspiraloon who has the temerity to put out that some of the people churning this abuse out are right old bunch of crooked twunts

Anonymous said...

Riposte to Brooker's post in the Guardian -

Anonymous said...

Haha seriously, Charlie Brooker? The guy who does comedy TV reviews? Phew, I'd hate to see the roasting you'd give Harry Hill.

Anonymous said...

To be fair, he wasn't sneering at the people taking their savings out of Northern Rock. He was showing how the news was making the situation worse by having cameras outside the banks constantly and creating the sense of doom that they then reported on. See the part where the reporter asks the guy in the queue why he's panicking and he replies, very calmly, that he isn't.

That was his point. And that's my 2 cents worth.

Anonymous said...

The clue was when you mentioned "sneering" at people taking their savings out of Northern Rock. As anyone with basic comprehension abilities, grasp of the English language, and double-figures IQ could tell by watching that sequence, if he was sneering at anything it was the news media for their spin. So by claiming otherwise you're either ridiculously stupid or being deliberately disingenuous to prove your point, which usually means your point isn't worth making in the first place. Either way you're a massive loser.

Oh, and you're not being clever by constantly referring to him as "Charlton". That's his name. He chooses to go under "Charlie", and has since long before he was famous among anyone who didn't know what AUTOEXEC.BAT was, because, well, wouldn't you?

Stef said...

You forgot to mention that the 10 O'clock show is really, really funny

you cock