Friday, November 24, 2006

Ginsu 2012

Now that the Millennium is safely out of the way, people with a taste for the Apocalyptic are having to cast around for a new date to get excited about.

And it’s not just End-Timers and Y2K consultants who were sad to see the back end of the last thousand years. Spare a thought for the manufacturers of 'consumer products of the future' such as the legendary Ginsu 2000 knife set, much beloved by TV Home Shopping Networks.

Ginsu 3000 just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

When the year 2000 passed we all lost something to look forward to. The benchmark date for the future is now in the past and we haven’t met Jesus and we’re not flying around strapped to bacofoil jetpacks.

Some time in the early 90’s I attended an extremely amusing talk given by someone who was ahead of the curve on this issue. After extensive study of the ancient Mayan calendar and close inspection of the engravings on the much-misunderstood sarcophagus of Pacal the Great at Palenque the lecturer concluded that our World would end not in 2000 but in 2012.

On December 21st to be precise.

He was, obviously, completely insane.

Everyone knows the 2012 London Olympics are scheduled to start on 27th July.

The Olympics Rings - A symbol of sporting excellence, healthy competition and absolutely no tie-in with bizarre neo-pagan Nazi iconography, no way

There are many reasons for someone living on the other side of the river from the 2012 site to be pissed off with the entire business but, right now, the primo cause for wanting to see someone take responsibility and dangle from a lamppost is the cost overrun thing.

One year in, and six years to go, and the estimated cost of the site has already risen from £2.2bn to £3.1bn, plus another £1bn put aside for possible future price rises (they will), plus £3-4bn of other sundry odds and sods.

Of course, seven or eight billion quid is bugger all in the national scheme of things but what’s really ticking me off about all of this is the line currently being trotted out by the people who lied through their teeth throughout the bid process…

‘Well, these projects always over run but don’t worry it will be good fun’

The bid was crooked from the very beginning and five minutes spent reading through it, as I and about four other people bothered to do, made it pretty clear that whopping over runs were anticipated. Over runs that were, ultimately, backed by London ratepayers NOT the deceitful weasels who presented the bid and promised that it would come in on budget. Seb, Ken, Tessa, Tony et al were handing out blank cheques with our names on them.

By my reckoning that constitutes premeditated fraud and Seb, Ken, Tessa and Tony should do some hard time, same as anybody who tells lies to get their hands on someone else’s money.

Maybe they could be put to work on the convict chain gangs that the government is thinking about using to build the 2012 site

Lord Thieving Twat KBE - shouldn't that shirt be stripey?

Ho ho, yes, very funny. Like that’s going to happen.

People not being held to account that is. Convict labour in East London is definitely a go-er.

Er, hello, we've come to build a stadium...

I love democracy.

It’s not the cheerful, beaming faces of all those cute, loveable primary school children dreaming of Olympic Gold that’s making me feel grumpy. It’s the thought of the cheerful, beaming faces of all those cute, loveable property developers and merchant bankers and consultants dreaming of real gold. Aren't they rich enough?

Silly question.

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