Sunday, November 26, 2006

For serious conspiracy buffs only

Buckingham Palace doing its entirely coincidental dollar bill impression

For a long time now I’ve been interested in the more, um, esoteric side of the human experience – alternative science, alternative history, alternative this that and the other. Partly out of sense of curiosity but also because this stuff is often very, very funny.

And thus far I’ve reached a few tentative conclusions

  1. UFOs are definitely bollocks
  2. What passes for normality really is often just as irrational as anything a New Ager can come up with
  3. History really may have been touched by people, sometimes very powerful people, and fruity little societies that believe the strangest things

Of course, believing that there may have been, may be, influential groups out there who believe cranky things qualifies me a some kind of crank even though I most certainly don't share their beliefs.

To be fair, most people will acknowledge that fruity little covert clubs and belief systems do exist. They will, however, draw the line at accepting that these clubs and belief systems have had any significant influence on human events or that it would be possible for such hidden influence to be sustained for any length of time without either a) being discovered or b) going tits up somehow.

A fair objection.

But where’s the fun in thinking like that?

Ever since I first read Foucalt’s Pendulum I’ve toyed, off an on, with my own version of a Unified Conspiracy Theory that gathers up all the most persistent alternative beliefs in one narrative. The current draft version is sitting on the back of fag packet somewhere. I’ve never really got round to perfecting it because there have always been plenty of people out there prepared to put a whole lot more time into their own UCTs than I could ever could bring myself to and, to be honest, they all start sounding a bit samey after a while. The Masons/ The Illuminati/ Zionists/ Blood Sucking Pan Dimensional Lizard people/ ‘Them’ have been running things for ever. End of story.

Anyway, I mention all of this, even though I recall blogging it before, because I’ve just stumbled on a fab new website that explains everything, and I mean everything....

On the front page alone it covers such old favourites as

  • Freemasonry, Bohemian Grove, the Illuminati, and Zionism
  • More Zionism
  • Killer Asteroids
  • The Wrath of God expressed in the form of Hurricanes
  • Numerology
  • Manipulation of the Mainstream Media
  • Sacred geometry
  • Astronomical alignments
  • 9/11 Conspiracy Theories
  • Government sponsored terror
  • A bit more Zionism
  • The Impending Global Economic Meltdown
  • Handy investment tips for the Impending Global Economic Meltdown
  • Hitler
  • Millennial predictions for 2012

Plus lashings of quotes from the Book of Revelation, tons of animated gifs, a tasteful mixture of font styles and colours and a cheesy midi version of Amazing Grace playing in the background

It's got the lot

So much so that my browser chokes and comes close to dying whenever I open the page up

The Wikipedia entries on Disinformation and Misinformation present fewer difficulties.

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