Thursday, July 19, 2007


Just in case anyone needs a translation from BBC Speak into plain English...

When the Director General of the BBC announces that 16,500 of his staff, including himself, will be attending compulsory training courses on the subject of...

...what he is actually saying is that he feels the need to send all his staff on courses to remind them not to lie and steal

Which, no doubt, will piss off those of the 16,500 who don't make a habit of lying and stealing immensely and leave those of the 16,500 who do feeling quite relieved

But don't worry, everything is going to be OK now and it's worth remembering that only a small fraction of the BBC's vast programming output has been been caught lying - and if they haven't been caught they can't be doing it can they?

And I have no doubt that our police will be taking the matter of financial fraud perpetrated on a national scale very seriously and banging up the perpetrators in due course

/ waits patiently

/ doesn't hold breath



Wolfie said...

You mean people can get sent on a training course to "make them honest"?

We have managers who send people on courses to "make them competent".

The rest of us just roll our eyes.

Today I'm feeling dizzy.

Stef said...

you need to get yourself on a orientation seminar toute suite

Rory Winter said...

Oh, but listen to the BBC's Director General, Mark Thompson: those who deceive will not be tolerated, they will be shown the door.

And the BBC's ex-chairman, Michael Grade: the golen, cardinal rule is YOU DO NOT DECEIVE THE LISTENERS!

Right, so can we expect a flood of truth and objectivity from the BBC News.

No, it appears they were restricting their comments to Phone-Ins and Marm.

Distracting the public from reality AS USUAL.



Anonymous said...

stef, don't mean to spam your blog mate, since this is unrelated, but I found a cracking video of one of my favorite Conspiraloons.

Jello Biafra, being interviewed by Jools Holland..

Stef said...


Not spam at all and a welcome blast from the past. I was pleased to realise that I could still remember the lyrics from all of the songs mentioned in the interview

It's remarkable to think how outdated those lyrics have become over the last (almost) 30 years...

Play ethnicky jazz
To parade your snazz
On your five grand stereo
Braggin that you know
How the niggers feel cold
And the slums got so much soul

i.e. not very much at all

Anonymous said...

State institutions not subject to law under labour ...

examples (1) Iraq war, (2) Cash for Honours, (3) BBC 'phone in dishonesty ie theft act, (4) UK gov demanding that a foreign power breaks its laws in order to deport one of its citizens.

Stef said...

the BAE bribery thing just has to be added to that list

Stef said...

shooting an innocent, clearly unarmed man in the face nine times is also a pretty strong contender

Stef said...

as is lying about it public statements

Stef said...

Best Daily Mash headlines of the week...


PRIME Minister Gordon Brown will today begin a cull of his personal and political enemies after being given the go-ahead by the Crown Prosecution Service.

With Labour now effectively immune from criminal charges, Brown plans to spend the summer wiping out all those who have crossed him since childhood.

Whitehall sources said the decision not to bring charges in the cash for honours inquiry, despite the piles of invoices, receipts and signed confessions, means Brown can begin working through his 200-page 'bastards list'....