It's almost as if there are people out there who think that the Prime Minister doesn't give a damn about what we all think and that the whole petition exercise is a bit of a farce.
However, over a million people didn't take such a cynical point of view, signed a petition to 'Scrap the planned vehicle tracking and road pricing policy'
... and were promptly given the finger
Asked what happens to petitions on the Downing Street website, the PMOS (Prime Minister's Official Spokesperson) replied that they became part of the policy process and part of the overall context in which decisions were taken. He added that they were a welcome addition to the ability of citizens to communicate directly with government. There was no axiomatic process in which a petition would be submitted and the government then agreed, that was not the way it worked.
Asked if the Prime Minister was dismayed at the scale of the petition, the PMOS replied that people did feel strongly about this issue, but feeling strongly was not a substitute for coming up with practical proposals. It was the duty of government to come up with practical proposals, and to explain to people why the proposals were necessary, and to work through how they might be carried out.
So, it's back to taking the piss then ...
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to STOP THE E PETITIONS TEAM FROM CENSORING E PETITIONS.
Submitted by M JONES
It was an issue for which an e-petition is not the appropriate channel
Other rejected petitions include
"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to..."
- officially recognise Pete's mum an official public resource
- answer all Parliamentary questions in verse during National Poetry Week to encourage public interest in both poetry and parliament
- Free the Chicken People!
- Build a very noisy prison for noisy & inconsiderate neighbours
- Make Jon West the (k)ing of England, because he would be good
- Remove the green sweets from Starburst and to reinstate the Opal Fruits brand name
- Ban old people in towns and city centres during weekday lunch hours
- Change police sirens to the Benny Hill theme music (my favourite)
- stop being a reptile puppet and wise up and help us save the world!!! (that would be David Icke presumably)
- Provide every person of 70 years of age with a Grey Squirrel
- Change 'Holloway Road' of North London to 'Chuck Norris Road' (my 2nd favourite)
- Stop electromagnetic, microwave weapon
- Stopp torturing me by the electromagnetic microwave weapon (same guy)
- Stop electromagnetic, microwave harressmant (I really don't think he's joking)
- Legalise Otter clubbing
- Legalise gay incest
- Let mice be allowed free travel on public transport
- nip round this weekend and give me a hand put me new windows in and paint the bog
- insist that Mr. Mark Gary Banham of Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, wash more frequently than once a year
- Congratulate himself for taking the tough choices government forces upon people and toppling one of the worst regiems in the world, namely Iraq and supporting the silent marjority in so doing.
- just go now
If the parallel universe hypothesis is correct somewhere out there there is a Bizarro Britain where all of these things have come to pass and what a wonderful place it would be, unless you're an otter that is
It is surely only a matter of time before people start using the Downing Street E-petition system to sell their cars, meet new friends and market speciality escort services...
The petition "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to press our loyal intelligence agencies to task on finding out just how much fucking Horlicks Mark Urban does drink before he can get to sleep at night" has not yet been rejected because I haven't submitted it yet...