Friday, February 23, 2007

Conspiracy Theorists vs Conspiracy Fantasists

A couple of the alternative news portals I occasionally visit have recently linked to a web page that promises to offer 'The true inside facts about the 7/7 London bombings'.

'Ah, marvellous', I thought, 'the Internet comes to the rescue once again. Is there nothing it can't teach me?'

Imagine my disappointment when, on reading the article, I discovered that it was only a rehash of existing stories and speculations, remixed and represented as an interview between the author and his mysterious inside contact 'X10'.

The only new material that I could identify at all was the codenames of two of the intel operatives behind 7/7 and the fact that they drove off in a soft top that day...

JC- “So the guys on the train who were ex MI 5, ex SAS, they left the explosives on the train and then got off. What were their names again?”

X10- “The ex MI 5 man was codenamed ’J-boy’ and Mcgreagor was the ex SAS guy”

JC- “And then you say they escaped in a Vauxhall cabriolet?”

X10- “Yes and they were driven away from the scene”

JC- “So your MI 6 contact confirmed it was a Vauxhall cabriolet?”

X10- “Yes"

Oh dear, this really isn't helping anyone very much at all

With some trepidation I checked out the rest of the guy's site and quickly established that he claims to be ex MI6, that MI6 stages 'Black Ops' and controls the global drug trade so that it can pay for the construction of a series of 4,000 underground bases connected by an antigravity train system that travels at Mach 2.7 ... which is used by aliens ... some of which are reptiles.

Not all of the aliens are bad however and Good Aliens are here to help us from the bad ones, and ourselves.

Phew, that's a relief

The Pleiades aka The Seven Sisters

The Good Aliens are called
Pleiadians and are presumably the same Pleiadians promoted by the extensively bearded, long-time professional alien contactee and undisputed Master of one-handed Photoshopped UFO photography Billy Meier

Other legends of the professional alien contactee genre that have brought me much entertainment over the years include; Rael, Adamski, sorry I meant this Adamski, and George King of The Aetherius Society.

A Killer UFO picture from Adamski

I particularly enjoy the George King story; a part-time taxi driver who, in his own words, was innocently drying the dishes in his kitchen in Maida Vale one Saturday morning in 1954 when a loud, apparently physical voice told him...

"Prepare yourself! You are to become the Voice of Interplanetary Parliament."


In fairness to them, most of these guys established relatively benign cults which share essentially the same, mostly harmless teachings

  • Aliens are amongst us and seeking to communicate through their Chosen Representive
  • The Aliens' message is that the Earth is faced with an impending ecological catastrophe if Mankind does not change its ignorant ways
  • People must help save the world by sending modest, but regular, financial contributions to the Aliens' Chosen Representative

An interesting exercise in symbolism from Rael

Amusingly, however whacked out all this may seem to the majority of folk, there was a shared strain of thought and sometimes shared membership between alien cults like George's, the New Age movement and early environmental activism. If Greenpeace was a person, alien contactee cults would be like a peculiar, a very peculiar, old uncle that person would rather not talk about.

The Environmental Movement's embarrassing old uncle speaks...

The underground bases and races meme also goes back a long way. A very long way. We all share a primeval fear of nether regions that has been manifest time and again in folk lore and myth. Stories of underground beasts and worlds that juxtapose nicely with legends of sky gods and their worlds.

The idea of a series of underground military bases linked by a network of tunnels reminds me of an all-time favourite expression of 1960s Cold War paranoia - the astoundingly bad movie 'Battle Beneath the Earth' which had the Red Chinese burrowing across the Pacific and planting nuclear bombs in tunnels underneath American cities. There's one scene where one of the heroes is lying on a pavement on a busy city street, with his ear to the floor calling out to passers-by '
They're here! They're amongst us! Can't you hear them!' before he is carted off and taken somewhere with soft walls

All of the above is good fun in my opinion and makes for more interesting pub conversations than if everyone believed the same thing...

"What do you think mate?"

"Same as you mate"

Asking questions is always a good thing

As is a little open-minded speculation

However, making up answers and pretending that they are definitive rarely ever is.

In principle, it's not the fact that someone claims that alien space lizards are cruising around underneath our feet in hover-trains that I have an issue with. It's the fact they've come up with absolutely fuck all evidence to prove it.

David Icke does it. David Shayler does it.

As do countless other, less high profile individuals.

Unfortunately, because of their free-thinking nature, 'truth' movements attract these folk like bees to honey

Things are so bad that I cannot point to or endorse a single 9/11 website that isn't in some way tainted by bizarre claims and assertions that seem to serve no other practical purpose than to make relatively straighforward lines of questioning seem guilty by association.

And there are those who would do the same thing with 7/7 - crapping in the pool by associating doubts about mainstream accounts of domestic terrorism with unverifiable and irrelevant tales of space aliens, Sumerian tablets, Biblical prophecy and God knows what else.

Don't get me wrong. I'm up for a drunken conversation about the significance of ancient Sumerian tablets as much, usually more so, than the next person but not in the context of pressing for investigation into legitimate unanswered questions on matters of life and death that have lead to blood being spilled on the streets of New York, London and Baghdad.

And unlike George Monbiot I am capable of at least acknowledging that there are different personalities with different motivations at work out there and not just lump them all together as fantasists and 'morons'.

Some of the space alien brigade seem sincere in what they are doing. They occupy different mental territory to most other people, but there is no malice there. However, there are others conspiracy fantasists who must know full well the impact of what they are up to and are either out to fuck things up deliberately or make a buck somehow.

And there is another line of thought I hadn't considered until recently.

I played up couple of minutes, just a couple, of audio of an MI6 Space Alien fan taken from the Net to my Mrs. Once she had stopped laughing, I asked her if she thought the guy sounded like he really believed what he was saying. She decided that he did but then suggested that he did because somebody else had wound him up for a laugh.

Which, of course, brought to mind the outstanding lifetime achievements of Robert Hendy-Freegard ...

A former barman who posed as a spy to trick his victims out of almost £1m has been jailed for life.

Robert Hendy-Freegard, 34, of Blyth, Nottinghamshire, persuaded his victims they were being hunted by the IRA.

London's Blackfriars Crown Court heard they endured years of poverty and carried out bizarre "missions" for him over a 10-year period.

He's in prison now but maybe he has a brother or a particularly adept disciple still at large. Maybe a whole army of them ...underground



Adhesive X said...

lol! Who is the Rael? I haven't heard of him before (thankfully)?

Adhesive X said...

Blimey, looking at his wikipedia entry he's a right fruity boy! Liberal Eugenics ?!