Beat the impending Economic Apocalypse with 2.5% off take-away pizza (for a limited time only)

You don't have to look very hard to see that British retailers are expecting a pretty awful Consumptionmas season this year

Every day both my physical and virtual mailboxes are stuffed full of 'We miss you. Here's a 5%/ 10%/ £5 off money voucher which expires in a month's time. Please do some shopping. Please. Because otherwise we're totally fucked. Go on. Please....'

(The reason why so many retailers are potentially fucked is that they have colossal debt obligations, either directly in the form of loan charges or indirectly through rent, and need to clear a certain amount of money every month just to keep their bankers happy. For every £1 spent on British retail a large chunk goes straight to the banks, a similar chunk goes to the government (and then to the banks) and the teensy weensy bit left over goes to some Shanghai sweatshop owner. This is how vibrant, sustainable, 21st century economies work apparently)

The UK government also appears to be about to get in on the act

When faced with the prospect of the greatest economic recession in a lifetime, the powers that be could have chosen to pour state-funded investment into great public works which would create real jobs and benefit future generations - solar powered personal jetpacks, a national maglev train network, fusion powered hydroponic food for all - or it could take the braver and more farsighted decision to spank all that money on some discount vouchers on imported crap instead

I'm delighted to say that it looks like the imported crap is going to win


According to the latest news from the Ministry of Official Speculation...


VAT cut mooted for recovery plan

A VAT cut could be at the centre of the pre-Budget report on Monday, according to widespread speculation.

Reports suggest VAT could drop by 2.5% to 15% as part of Alistair Darling's plan to revive the flagging economy.

My latest money off voucher from ebay - 2.5% more than on offer from UK plc but it expires a little sooner

Readers of Robert 'He is become Pure News' Peston's blog will already be aware that major VAT changes are in the works, as yesterday he wrote...

"For the sake of transparency I should say that I don't know that there will be a VAT rise (after a temporary VAT reduction)"

Robert Peston

Robert is indeed transparent

in the words of one adoring commentator...

"From that I think we can all read that Alistair Darling has already given you the lowdown on what he's planning and that this too shall come I to pass. Much like your blog a month or two ago where you said "This may be hubris, but I think the way to solve the problem would be for the Government to take large stakes in banks and be paid a very high rate of interest". And what do you know, a few days later this is what was announced. Not foresight on your part - more like insider information. This blog seems to be the Government's new leak machine of choice, where future policy decisions are "suggested" by Robert to sound out opinion and get people used to the idea. Robert does this for reasons of hubris, as he can then claim he had the idea first, even though it's no such thing."


Personally, it seems only fair that the business editor of the State Broadcasting Company should serve such a valuable public function

The fact that the UK government is about to evaporate billions of pounds (which will be added to the tab owed to the banksters) on a stunt that is so obviously destined to fail is, however, just a tad perplexing

If the current government isn't engaged in the final stages of a deliberate plan to destroy the UK economy that started way back in the reign of Thatchler, it continues to do a fucking good impression of one

.