Every day both my physical and virtual mailboxes are stuffed full of 'We miss you. Here's a 5%/ 10%/ £5 off money voucher which expires in a month's time. Please do some shopping. Please. Because otherwise we're totally fucked. Go on. Please....'
The UK government also appears to be about to get in on the act
When faced with the prospect of the greatest economic recession in a lifetime, the powers that be could have chosen to pour state-funded investment into great public works which would create real jobs and benefit future generations - solar powered personal jetpacks, a national maglev train network, fusion powered hydroponic food for all - or it could take the braver and more farsighted decision to spank all that money on some discount vouchers on imported crap instead
I'm delighted to say that it looks like the imported crap is going to win
According to the latest news from the Ministry of Official Speculation...
VAT cut mooted for recovery plan
A VAT cut could be at the centre of the pre-Budget report on Monday, according to widespread speculation.
Reports suggest VAT could drop by 2.5% to 15% as part of Alistair Darling's plan to revive the flagging economy.
Readers of Robert 'He is become Pure News' Peston's blog will already be aware that major VAT changes are in the works, as yesterday he wrote...
Robert is indeed transparent
in the words of one adoring commentator...
"From that I think we can all read that Alistair Darling has already given you the lowdown on what he's planning and that this too shall come I to pass. Much like your blog a month or two ago where you said "This may be hubris, but I think the way to solve the problem would be for the Government to take large stakes in banks and be paid a very high rate of interest". And what do you know, a few days later this is what was announced. Not foresight on your part - more like insider information. This blog seems to be the Government's new leak machine of choice, where future policy decisions are "suggested" by Robert to sound out opinion and get people used to the idea. Robert does this for reasons of hubris, as he can then claim he had the idea first, even though it's no such thing."
Personally, it seems only fair that the business editor of the State Broadcasting Company should serve such a valuable public function
The fact that the UK government is about to evaporate billions of pounds (which will be added to the tab owed to the banksters) on a stunt that is so obviously destined to fail is, however, just a tad perplexing
If the current government isn't engaged in the final stages of a deliberate plan to destroy the UK economy that started way back in the reign of Thatchler, it continues to do a fucking good impression of one