I met him whilst walking in the fresh, crispy mountains of Italy last week. I think it's what the locals call a 'Ghiro' - in English a 'Fat Dormouse'.
Conspiracy fans will be delighted to learn that the fat dormouse was introduced to the UK a 100 hundred years ago by Lord Rothschild...
"Their nickname is the Seven Sleepers as they hibernate for seven months of the year. Walter Rothschild, who later became the second Baron Rothschild, brought the first six Glis Glis to England in 1902. No-one knows exactly how, but they escaped into the wild from the Rothschild home at Tring Park and have spread and bred! However, instead of happily hibernating out of doors they moved inside for the English winter! Soon, local farmers were complaining of apple stores being ruined and local people were hearing unexplained bumps in the night ... a sure sign that the Glis Glis were making themselves quite at home in the attic. One woman was convinced she was going mad!"
This was clearly a pioneering act of primitive bioterrorism, though how fat dormice fit in exactly with the global banking conspiracy, the foundation of Israel, freemasonry and space aliens is still not 100% clear to me
And because I'm more than a little bit sad, all the walking I've been doing here and in my Mothersland and my encounters with fat dormice, amusingly-shaped mushrooms (another time, another photo) and all sorts of other livings things in their natural environment, I've been pondering upon the 'Genius of Darwin' as much as ever - especially the impact of Darwinism on the way people think
As it happens, whether Darwin was right or wrong about the Evolution of Life makes virtually bugger all difference to most people's daily lives. However, Darwinism has affected the way people interpret tangible events that do impact on their daily lives
Before Darwinism and the Enlightenment, most people believed that someone, or some entity, was responsible for everything that happened. The weather, the outcome of battles, the shape of tea leaves in a cup, the throw of some dice; all was the Will of some god or other.
There was no such thing as chance. Everything that happened was the predetermined outcome of a controlling intelligence
After Darwin, it was considered very clever to believe that everything of any importance or scale was the result of blind chance. Any pattern of events that appeared to be result of design was simply the result of blind chance combined with some kind of selection mechanism
The result was that, in the act of denying the Hand of God in natural affairs, Darwinism also had the consequence of denying the Hand of Man in human affairs
Anyone who suggests that the course of human, or natural affairs, may be the result of the interplay of intelligent planning and the natural selection of random events is now branded an irrational religious lunatic or a conspiracy theorist
Shit just happens
and if you don't believe that Shit just happens then you're only fit for the Funny Farm
Because I'm a Loon I believe that the promotion of this kind of thinking, as an essentially exclusive model to explain how the world works, was an entirely deliberate course of action - but I would wouldn't I
If you would like to witness a nice example of what I'm talking about, the mainstream coverage of the recent financial turmoil is a nice case history
The unwavering message of the mainstream coverage of the 'Credit Crunch' is...
- The impending implosion of our financial system is an unintended consequence of unreasoning, animalistic, undirected greed and fear
- No-one could have predicted it
- There is no predetermined objective
- The people responsible for our great financial institutions are honestly trying to unfuck things as best as they can for the Common Good
The possibility that the crisis could have been deliberately engineered in some way, and that some very clever, powerful people knew exactly what was going to happen, is deemed so unlikely it is not raised even to be debunked
Presumably, the fact that so many On-line Conspiranauts have been predicting this crash for years, in accordance with their insane models of how the world really works, is merely blind luck
And if all those CCTV cameras, databases, terrorism laws and detention infrastructure are turned towards, instead of the shadowy terrorists, a general public fucked-off with being robbed blind that will be an unintended outcome too