Monday, August 01, 2005

Time to stop pussying around

sacks

London was ‘locked down’ today because intelligence sources indicate that a third terror cell is planning to strike. There were armed police everywhere.

Part of the ‘lock down’ included police searching bags carried by browner than Caucasian people going about their business.

Well, that’s not going to work is it? If they do stop a suicide bomber he’ll just press his little red button.

All this brown people searching wouldn’t be politically motived PR bullshit by any chance?

Time to stop pussyfooting around. We non Muslims have a God given right to feel safe and nonsense bag seaches aren't cutting the mustard. I’m going to write to my local MP and the Daily Express to demand the following…

  • Police should push a gun into the face of the brown person they’re searching. If he so much as twitches, shoot the fucker.
  • To be extra safe, why not tip toe up from behind and shoot brown people carrying bags or wearing bulky clothing without any warning? It's the only way to be sure. Pre order extra ammo before the cold weather sets in.
  • Even better, fit all brown people with remote-controlled explosive neck collars.
  • Some Muslims are white so we’ll have to make it compulsory for all Muslims to identify their religious belief by wearing clearly visible emblems on the back of their heads. A few concentric red and white circles would do nicely and also leave the expatriate Brazilian population feeling a lot safer.
  • Introduce brown people-only carriages at the back of trains, fitted with armour plate on the white end of the compartment.

and that’s just for starters

9 comments:

Sparkling said...

I can't wait to see what the Daily Mail will get out of your lettter!

de said...

I'm fairly certain something can be worked with satellites, recognition software, and those energy beams from War of the Worlds..

Stef said...

@de: I like the way you're thinking ...

Northun Munki in Oxford Circus said...

There were loads of police kicking around London Bridge station on Monday evening. I counted 6 at the top of the tube line, 8 in the railway station around the shops, 6 outside by the taxis and a van with at least another 6 in.

All stood around 'eyeballing' people and doing nothing much.

I saw 0 sniffer dogs.

Draw your own conclusions...

Stef said...

Hazel Blears, our Minister for Respect announced today that EVERYBODY is going to be searched in future.

Great, we can all share in the bullshit now.

I was starting to feel left out

Anonymous said...

15-20 coppers at Euston today (including two armed coppers guarding the hairdressers...I kid you not)...did they search or stop me once?...nope.

Meanwhile...I was stopped and my bag was searched in the Tate Modern by an Asian guy. I didn't mind at all. Having said that he was hardly gonna kill me with a clipboard or a bunch of Frida Kahlo flyers ;)

andy

Stef said...

Don't get me wrong - I'll submit my gear for searching as much a the next guy. I actually think the police (up to a below the rank of Fuckwit in Chief) often get unfair press ...

but the bag searching is a waste of time if we are truly dealing with suicide bombers. Selecting brown people only was also daft as terrorists have used dupes in the past, girlfriends what have you

dupes? did I mention the possibility of dupes? there I go again ...

PS You'd be amazed what can be achieved with a clipboard in trained hands and as for flyers, think about paper cuts - nasty

de said...

Anonymous, did they still have the Kahlo portrait of herself and a spider monkey being searched before going on the underground?

Stef said...

Would that be anywhere near as good as the classic portrait of young Stef and a monkey here ...

http://tinyurl.com/ae79q