Monday, January 15, 2007

The Ultimate Celebrity Diet?

I was strolling by Westminister Cathedral a couple of nights ago and paused, as I always do, to check out the Christian bookshop next door to see what’s currently hot in the world of Christian publishing.

At the moment, this amusingly titled little tome seems to be quite popular...

What would Jesus eat?

As with so much of the output from Evangelical Christians, especially American Evangelical Christians, you can never be too sure if the author is pulling your leg or if they’re really being serious.

And it’s not an earth-shattering surprise to discover that the book’s key recommendations feature whole-grain loaves, fishes and a little red wine as an integral part of a believer’s diet.

Presumably the book was written to cash in on the 'What Would Jesus Do?' craze that swept America a few years ago. Or should I say 'What Would my caricature
of Jesus Do?'. Given that so many Evangelicals have jettisoned the trickier aspects of Jesus' teachings such as turning the other cheek, humility, Love for all Humanity, non-violence, embracing social outcasts, forgiveness, not cluster-bombing people back into the Stone Age, stuff like that.

The reviews on Amazon are largely positive and occasionally amusing -

'I've often sat awake and wondered, pondered and pontificated just what Jesus would eat. Then I began wondering just how he would feed himself, well, when *you-know-what* happened. I imagine that would have been difficult. But, then again, he was the son of God. But, this book sheds away all mystery. I never knew they liked Okra so much.'

'I have lost ten pounds since being on the diet. I think most of it came from following the parts of the Bible that mention the consumption of deserts, but only during special events.'

'This is without doubt the most balanced, most motivational diet book I've ever read. If you're tired of fad and celebrity diets, this is the ultimate authoritative guide.'

But not everyone agrees -

'After following the advice in this book for many years, I felt like I would live forever, right up until the point that I was crucified. Fortunately, I came back three days later.'

'In all my life, I have never heard of such drivel. If you have ever wondered why the rest of the world simply despairs at the decline of the USA, the very fact of this book's publication will tell you ... I was going to say that I'd keep this book out of the hands of children, but then I mentioned it to my own children, and they thought the idea so hilariously funny - and the positive reviews even more so - that I realised I was wrong. Every good and happy child should be able to laugh loudly, freely, as often as possible. And they did. They knew adults were capable of folly, but this came as a surprise even to them.'

I like the word Folly. People should use it more.



de said...

I have discovered Robot Chicken, so I will not be reading this blog till I have finished laughing.

Stef said...

perfectly understandable, commendable in fact

Bonzo said...

Thankyou, this raised a smile or two.

Stef said...

why thank you Bonzo

but isn't it past your bedtime?

\ couldn't resist