Wednesday, February 08, 2006

And away we go....

The carefully cultivated Week of Hate is already starting to bear succulent fruit. Voices are starting to clamour for the introduction of 'Incitement to Terrorism' legislation

The tried and tested Problem-Reaction-Solution technique for brainwashing saps into clamouring for things that you want never fails.

Who would have thought that a few high profile hate trials and standing back and letting some idiots chant incendiary slogans on national television would have had such an outcome?

Lordy lordy


And yesterday's announcement of what the police found in Finsbury Park Mosque only strengthens the call for a return to old fashioned 1930s values.

The police found...

A whole arsenal of terrorist paraphernalia

... gas masks, chemical, biological and nuclear protective suits, blank passports, hunting knives, and blank-firing weapons.

Presumably the police in question were from out of town since a sizeable proportion of London dwellings contain fake IDs, knives and blank firing pistols as a matter of course. The surprising part is that they didn't find any heroin, immigrant teenage sex slaves, real guns and explosives, piles of cash waiting to be wired to Bucharest and Bogata via the local hair dressers or blood-splattered hostages held in the basement.

I always knew that North London was more lightweight than my side of the river.

The most priceless part of the story is this astonishing piece of deductive work...

"The suspicion of the anti-terrorist branch was that this was probably material used in training camps in the UK"

"We've never been able to pinpoint their locations, who was running them or what sort of activities that were going on, but that is the conclusion."

Sherlock Holmes eat your fucking heart out.

As it happens I'm off walking in Shropshire/ Herefordshire later this month and the Brecon Beacons strike me as the ideal location for an Al Qaeda training camp. Being the loyal citizen that I am, I'll be keeping my good eye open. The bases shouldn't be too hard to spot, as they will...

  • Be located in a hollowed out volcano
  • Include a rocket pad for launching solar heat ray death star satellites
  • Have easy access to the sea for the Evil Mastermind's personal minisub
  • Be staffed by hundreds of evil henchmen dressed in matching bacofoil jumpsuits

Just like what there was supposed to be in Afghanistan but, er, wasn't


de said...

This is the sort of logic that kept people debating the number of angels that could fit onto a pin head for many a decade.

Bridget Dunne said...

Hi Stef

From today's Observer:

"Hamza set up terror camps with British ex-soldiers

Former British soldiers taught Abu Hamza's followers to use guns at a camp in Wales as part of an ad hoc terror training network set up by the jailed cleric, according to US intelligence agencies."

The article fails to mention who recruited these ex-soldiers or who they were.

Another interesting fact to emerge from the research into the events of 7th July is that one, Martin Abdullah McDaid, an ex-SBS anti-terrrorist operative, was running the Iqra bookshop in Leeds. He was a 'convert' to Islam, wouldn't you know.

The SBS, Special Boat Services, are a select group of 250 Royal Marines whose operations are more clandestine than the SAS.

White water rafting anyone?