Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Stop it! Stop it! You're killing me!


Chinatown, London
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Following swiftly on from the stories that purchasing pirate DVDs funds the drugs trade AND terrorism AND sometimes they have poor sound quality, our government has announced today that buying smuggled cigarettes is bad for you. I quote ...
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Britain is being flooded by smuggled cigarettes which cost the exchequer about 2 billion pounds a year and pose deadly health risks as most are fake, a new government report says ...
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"Staggeringly, 85 percent of cheap cigarettes sold illegally on the capital's streets and more than half of all smuggled cigarettes seized nationally are counterfeit" ...
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"According to research, counterfeit cigarettes being sold on Britain's streets contain five times as much cadmium -- which can severely damage the lungs and is linked with kidney disease; and nearly six times as much lead and even high levels of arsenic - which increases the risks of lung, liver and other cancers." ...
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"Customs will continue to crack down on this illicit market and the organised criminals who run it."
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The message is clear. Smuggled cigarettes are much MORE lethal than duty paid cigarettes. And I thought the Government was only concerned with screwing as much money as possible out of an inelastic, addiction-driven market. I feel all warm and fluffy now.
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This announcement follows on from a recent European ruling against British Customs who have been merrily seizing and destroying private citizens' cars as they return from mainland Europe loaded up with cigarettes.
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The rise of cigarette smuggling is colossal. Once upon a time, before Tony Blair, the sight of dodgy chaps selling cigarettes out of suitcases on street corners was very much a non British thing. You'd see such people plying their wares in Rome or Paris but not in London. We British were in the habit of paying our taxes. Then those taxes went up. And up. Apparently, taxes were being raised for health reasons which doesn't quite square with the sound of government officials whining like bitches at the thought of all that lost tax revenue due to smuggling. Researchers have quantified how much foreign tobacco is getting into the country by the simple method of analysing discarded packets collected after football matches. They collect an awful lot of foreign ciggie packets. Depending on who is playing, there are sometimes more foreign packets than domestic ones.
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Back in 1974, when we were conned into signing up for the European Common Market, the vote was swung by the promise that we would pay lower, European prices for our ciggies and drink. In the 30 years since that vote the only harmonization with European taxes has been upwards. For example, sales tax went up from 5% to an altogether more continental 17.5%, yet the price of beer and tabs has remained solidly higher than anywhere else across the Channel. A packet of 20 costs just under £5 in the UK and nearer £2.20 in France and Italy.
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So, naturally, whenever possible, British citizens have been loading up on cigarettes and alcohol whenever abroad. British Customs have grudgingly admitted that, yes, you can buy as much alcohol and tobacco in Europe as you like but only strictly for personal consumption. This raises the amusing prospect of holding a party on return from a visit to France and forbidding your guests to drink any of your booze or scrounging any of your cigarettes on the basis that you could have your house seized and destroyed ...
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And do the same restrictions apply to consumption of other products, like full fat cheese and cast iron Le Creuset cookware, that are also much cheaper in France? I'm not too sure really but it's amusing to think that they might.
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