Thursday, March 03, 2005

The long Good Wednesday

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I try to avoid commenting about current news stories in this blog. This is down partly to a fear of me relapsing into rant mode, partly because that's what everyone else does and partly because you can’t really trust most news stories, so why bother gassing about on something that isn’t true anyway?
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The mainstream media has reached a pretty low ebb these recent years. The sad truth is that if you take time to research pretty much any news story you'll find that it has been misrepresented in some way or another. Liberal or reactionary, somebody will have twisted it to suit their view. News has always been this way, sure, but it just seems to have got progressively worse in this country, particularly since the rise of the media-savvy New Labour party and 9/11 after that.
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You just can’t trust what you're told any more. We've got the Internet and satellites, yet all this technology seems to be used for it to distribute bullshit. Perversely, the more advanced the technology becomes the more reliant we have to be on our own eyes and common sense to understand what's going on around us.
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However, today was so absolutely brimming with top news stories that I can’t resist reproducing a couple. I particularly enjoyed the following:
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The story about five illegal Iraqi immigrants found hiding in a truck in NW London that had just arrived from Europe:
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"Police opened the trailer. We could see five smiling faces, wrapped up and huddled together for warmth. Police arrested and handcuffed them. They spoke no English, but an interpreter was not called." Police phoned immigration officials, said Mr Ward Thomas, but "it was about 4pm and they said they had no one to send.
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"Instead the men's handcuffs were removed and they were given a phone number for Croydon immigration centre. They were told if they went there, they would be given £200 in vouchers for housing and food. They then walked off."

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Now, I could start ranting about how strange it is that my government permits this kind of nonsense to take place, yet is imposing identity cards and imprisonment without trial on the nation because of the supposed terrorist threat, but I won't. Loads of people will already be doing that. I just can’t help thinking how bizarre this all must have been for the guys in the truck. How did they spend the rest of the evening? What happened to them in the end? I guess we'll never know. There's scope for some very dark comedy here (one for my notebook methinks).
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Then there was the news that the UK government is going to spend £200m on 14.6m doses of antivirals to fight a possible bird flu pandemic. I was particularly tickled by that one as Mission Impossible II was on tele last night, featuring a plot about a gang of baddies who plan to start a virus outbreak and make millions by selling the antidote. Sadly, in real life, Tom Cruise is a short-arse and those cool IM Force face masks don't really exist, so I guess we'll all just have to pay up instead.
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But the best story today was this one in today's copy of Metro:
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Gun Threat Halts Work at Wembley
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Builders stayed away from the Wembley Stadium site yesterday, following death threats against crane operators.
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They were reacting to warnings from Russian Mafia bosses, who said snipers would open fire on building sites across the world if Australian company Multiplex failed to hand over £20million.
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Three of the five 91m cranes remained motionless above the £750million development yesterday.
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'I wouldn’t want to be up there. It's like having a target painted on you,' said one worker.
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Police are monitoring the situation to 'minimise any potential risk'.
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I wonder if anyone has thought to send a clipping to the IOC team assessing London's 2012 Olympic bid.
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One swallow does not make Spring, and I take issue with the use of capital M in mafia when describing non Sicilian-based organised crime, but if this story is true then it is certainly exciting and long overdue news.
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You see, London has always been desperately short of serious organised criminals.
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If there's one thing that gives New York the edge over London in the myth-making stakes it's organised crime. Even as a child I was conscious of London's deficiencies in this regard. Growing up with Italian parents, living over their small inner-city grocery store, I couldn’t help but noticing that no mysterious men would visit my father once a week to collect protection money. Not once throughout my entire childhood, were I or my brother threatened when my father refused to 'pay those (non existent) bloodsuckers one penny more'.
Other children at school would joke with me that I must 'know a few people' and I would have to shamefully admit that I didn't, and refer them to the Irish kids instead. No men in white suits with Brylcreamed moustaches would pace around the neighbourhood. No-one got their legs broken for breaking codes of silence. It was all so f*cking dull.
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Admittedly, London has always been home to more than its fair or criminals but it's always been relatively small-time stuff and the not the kind of material suitable for epic, Coppola-scale story telling.
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So desperate has London been to fill this yawning gap in its image that even small time gangland figures such as the Kray Twins have been elevated to a mythical status far beyond reality. Let's be honest here, even at its height, the Kray criminal empire consisted of something like a couple of pubs, a fish and chip shop and a dry cleaners. For most of their career the Krays live at home with their mum and the pair were responsible for, at most, the murder of two or three people. Christ, there are packs of sliced ham in my local convenience store that will kill more people than that.
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There's a scene in the film The Krays where the twins give a visiting Mafia representative a picture of them with their mum. That just about sums up the sorry state of organised crime in London nicely.
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There are many reasons why organised crime never really flourished in London. In the past, and with some notable exceptions, the British did a fairly good job of assimilating immigrants. The whole concept of an isolated, alien group within British society in which vice could thrive and a code of omerta be maintained never really took hold. Our beat police were, in comparison with other places, relatively diligent and corruption free.
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Boring boring boring.
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The Americans got Las Vegas and Goodfellas. We got Blackpool and Minder.
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But times they are a changing. Our government is doing its bit by trying to establish huge casinos around the country and it is also working hard overseas, in co-operation with our America allies, to facilitate the production and importation of sex slaves and hard drugs (more of that another time). Entire industries, legal and illegal, from construction to people trafficking, are being consolidated and run along more professional lines by ambitious criminals with big plans.
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That's much more like it. What with the War on Terror thing and all, life's just getting more like living in a movie every day. Tony Soprano eat your bloody heart out.
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