Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It's the banker stupid #346

Here's a little something I just found whilst clearing through some old papers...

It's an unsolicited flier from the Halifax urging its customers to supersize their existing mortgages so that they can treat themselves to a well-deserved Caribbean wedding, a tasty Jag, or maybe even some chocolate

all very sensible and affordable behaviour as far as Britain's biggest home lender was concerned...

This disgraceful piece of marketing dates back to 2002. At the time I filed the leaflet away thinking that the Big Bust was just around the corner and that I would be dusting it off in a year or two's time for a bit of a chuckle

But those were very early days in my career as a budding Conspiranaut. Back then I actually thought that the banks, and the regulators, and the government weren't so wicked as to deliberately drive people into irredeemable poverty. I was actually naive enough to believe that common sense would prevail before the bubble reached the kind of size where the entire system was at risk

Silly me



jon doy said...

chocolate, as we all know, is highly addictive, you can never have enough, you can get your hands on a load of the stuff hoping and expecting it to last you a long time, and damn it if you don't just get through all of it the day you bought it in an obscene orgy of consumption (well, i do, anyway)

according to Stephen Fry and Qi, there is also a lethal dose of the stuff (if i remember rightly the amount is 20lbs - if my calculator serves me well that's 9.09kgs)

therefore, chocolate is nothing like debt - at all

Stef said...

yeah, whenever I ingest too much of the stuff I feel like vomiting

so, definitely nothing like debt - whatsoever

jon doy said...

i knew i was forgetting something which you raised - it makes me feel sick as hell - makes me want to boke similarly to yourself, and a while afterwards if i've got through enough of the stuff i end up just lying down feeling like i'm going to shuffle off this mortal coil from the after effects of it - and regret is profound

it's no good for building a home out of, as well

but next day i usually forget all that and go buy some more, so much like the money addiction

one cannot easily see any other explanation for the halifax's marketing campaign other than deep cynicism on the part of the copy writer responsible

that and the copious use of coke

woman on the bus to Clerkenwell said...

Copywriters, based on muy experience as one are deeply sinister unfeeling people.

Of course the Guys who ran HBOs etc., pillaged the coffers and realised that they needed to bribe their selling staff by monster comissions after piss poor basic salaries.

So the whole banking system was simply organised to sell money... when it is sold like chocolate they discovered that it was an easy sell...something any decent agnecy copywriter already knew ... and drug dealer. there any statsitical correlation between drug dependency and personal debt ?

Now theobromine in Chocolate is said to be a drug ....

Useful factoid for those who believe that dogs are 4 legged shit machines ... For dogs , 100-200 mg of theobromine per kg of a dogs body weight can cause Cardiac and Central Nervous System distress.... there are 200mg per 100g of Milk Chocolate ... C'mon good doggy... here's a nice Mars Bar...

paul said...

I don't think that applies to all dogs. My sadly departed beagle could eat a bar of chocolate and polish off an entire strip of nicorette
(12 X high strength) and suffer from nothing but hunger afterwards.

new quackonomix available, enjoy!