Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Common Enemy

Further to my previous post about Islamo-Fascist Awareness week and the traditional anti-Muslim knees up being planned in London on 26th October…

One of the reasons why the organisers of the demonstration selected the 26th was to coincide with a rally calling for a referendum of the proposed EU treaty/ Constitution the following day

The implication being that they anticipate a large overlap of those against further EU integration and those who believe that Muslims are taking over the country

Because, as everyone knows, the EU is completely controlled by militant jihadists

Over the weekend, someone very thoughtfully sent me a link to a two hour long film on google video of someone in a church hall making a presentation about how the EU is attacking UK society from within via an entity called ‘Common Purpose’...

Common Purpose is a peculiar wee organisation which provides what it calls 'leadership-training' courses to select individuals within the private and public sector. It also offers
extensive networking opportunities to its ‘Graduates’ after their training.

From what little I’ve been able to pick up from the bland yet creepy Common Purpose website and other little snippets I’ve encountered here and there, Common Purpose gives off a vibe of some kind of cross between Scientology, EST therapy,
the Stepford Bureaucrats and the Masons

Leadership Training selection process...

Which I would, under other circumstances, find amusing, except for the fact that literally thousands of people from the police, the armed services, the education service, local government, national government, the NHS, and the prison service have all been subject to Common Purpose indoctrination at public expense

And yet hardly anyone has heard of Common Purpose

Common Purpose is also, by its own admission, actively selecting children it judges most likely to be future leaders and giving them a spot of training too

Well, that’s not sinister at all

Common Purpose is part of a much wider malaise and a component of an interlocked network of dodgy think tanks, quangos, lobby groups, and consultancies, populated by the kind of bloodless, sociopathic droids who now dominate our political parties and public sector. I don’t know whether they were born or made but they’re a bunch of fuckers wherever they came from.

Now the problem with the video about Common Purpose I was given the link to and have, in turn, pasted into this post is that the person making the presentation and the people watching it are just a teensy weensy bit, er, reactionary

OK, make that extremely reactionary

Which means that even though quite a lot of decent and informative research is contained within the presentation the conclusions that people in the film draw from that research are shaped by some pretty ropey world views

And this, for me, is the tricky thing. When presented with evidence of the existence of murky, unaccountable and powerful organisations exercising malign influence on our lives, independent Right Wing thinkers will start talking about Marxist conspiracies. Yet, when presented with exactly the same evidence, independent Left Wing thinkers will start talking about Fascist conspiracies

My own take is that Left and Right Wing independent thinkers are hampered by their existing terminology and are therefore both wrong. But, in a way, they’re both correct and they could achieve much if they would look past their differences and realise that they have a Common Enemy in organisations such as Common Purpose and, more to the point, the elitist bastards behind them. If those bastards win we're all fucked - Left and Right Wing alike


PS As an aside, the last time I posted about Common Purpose, and the equally creepy Tavistock Institute, was back in May. The thread of comments underneath that post catalysed the creation of the Conspiraloon Alliance which is destined to one day eat Common Purpose for breakfast and ask for seconds, MuahahahHAAAAA!!!

PPS Conspiraloon Thought for the Day (courtesy of JD)...

"both the left wing and the right wing are flapped by - and attached to - the same bird, which unfortunately continues to fly on its chosen course - and we continue to blame its flight upon one of the wings, when blame should be apportioned to a limited degree to both wings, and in particular to the supporting frame to which they are secured, and without which neither would exist"


Friday, September 28, 2007

Shiny Happy People

Just in case anyone doesn’t know about it yet there are only 28 hating days to go until Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week kicks off

Uh-Oh, We're In Trouble, Something's Come Along And It's Burst Our Bubble
Yeah, Yeah! Uh-Oh, We're In Trouble,
Gotta Get Home Quick March On The Double!

A quick peek at the cast list will give a fair indication of the kind of selfless, humanitarian interest groups and personalities who are behind this little party

Apparently, these interest groups and personalities are profoundly worried about the oppression of women in Islam

Yeah, and I’m fucking Danish

To mark Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week an organisation called Stop Islamisation Of Europe is planning to hold a rally in London on 26th October on the theme of Islamic Persecution…

“Persecuted minority groups likely to be represented are

Indonesian Christians

And others

There will be speakers from these groups”

A pretty broad church indeed which seems to include just about everyone except for the Cornish, probably because the Cornish couldn't bear to be in the company of so many foreigners

"Fuck Off"

I’ve never really understood what the expression Islamo-Fascism is supposed to mean. Maybe it’s the Italian, oops sorry, Danish ancestry but I’m a bit old school when it comes to defining Fascism and believe its core feature to be an unholy merger of state and corporate power

and Islam, however extreme, doesn’t qualify.

I believe the expression to be a deliberate exercise in sophistry, crafted to associate Muslims with Nazis and all the pre-packed baggage that goes with that. However, I can’t help thinking that if Islamic fundamentalists really are Fascists they have would probably have quite a lot in common with the people demonstrating against them

Fascists demonstrating against Fascists - what is the world coming to?

Maybe they should all sit down and have a nice cup of tea and a chat

Maybe they could be friends

"Do you know what Islamo-Fascist Man, we're not so different after all and together we're stronger. Now let's go and kick some Commie butt"

And this Islamisation of Europe thing does seem just a teensy wee bit overblown. It’s not as if our governments, media, banks, police forces, armies or legal systems are swarming with Muslims or even likely to be in the foreseeable future

Convenience stores and kebab shops definitely

The organs of state, financial and cultural power, um no, not really

In short, the Islamisation of Europe is lie. A chimera conjured up to distract people from the de-Islamisation of one particular part of the world and to be a focal point for their rage at all the shit that's going on around them

That’s the plan

There’s a lot to be angry about out there but Muslims aren’t responsible

And anyone thinking about joining in with this Islamo-Fascist awareness crap might want to think about who’s yanking their chain and for what reasons

... or are the objectives of a war mongering neo-con lobby and a ruling elite that demonises the lower classes as ‘chavs’, a ruling elite populated by people who view those lower classes as being only slightly less loathsome than shit on their shoe, really worth fighting for?


Rory Winter has more on this latest exercise is getting two groups of people to stand in a street yelling each other, whilst the Powers That Be get on with the serious business of fucking both groups over here


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Great Minds think alike

From today's Private Eye...

thanks to Lord P.


edit: and whilst on the subject of banking industry look-alikes, this extract from a post in Scott Adam's blog tickled me for some reason...

Did you hear that scientists discovered a new use for men’s balls? Apparently they are loaded with stem cells.

This is great news because stem cells have potential to help against many health problems. For example, men’s balls might someday help with their strokes.

If you have balls, you have probably looked at them and wondered aloud “What else can I do with them?” Until now, their utility was limited to the following:

1. Producing sperm and male hormones
2. Target for projectiles
3. Sexual stimulation
4. Impersonating Alan Greenspan


New Customers Only pt3

Thanks to Lord Patel and Paul for pointing me towards Richard Murphy’s ‘Tax Research’ site and a couple of posts on Northern Rock here and here

The posts are a little, um, technical and I’m not at all sure that Murphy has fully supported his conclusions but, even though I think there are some gaps that need filling in, what he has put up indicates outrageous behaviour on the part of Northern Rock’s management…

If you look at Northern Rock’s statement of assets and liabilities for 31st December 2006 (its most recent accounts), its assets comprised…
  • Liquid assets 13%
  • Residential Mortgages 77%
  • Other stuff 10%

(There's an obvious caveat to be made here that all sets of accounts are bollocks, especially audited ones, but sadly it's all people have to go on)

If you look at Northern Rock’s liabilities for the same period they comprised…

  • Bonds 46%
  • Wholesale Funding 24%
  • Depositors’ Cash 22%
  • Share Capital 4%
  • Bits and bobs 4%

The outrageous part comes from the fact that the bonds, and maybe the wholesale funding (though I can’t see where Murphy demonstrates that) get first call on the residential mortgages in Northern Rock’s books as security in the event of liquidation.

And that seems to have been achieved, at least in part, by issuing the bonds via a supremely shady and complex structure of shell companies referred to by HM Treasury as the 'Granite' securitisation programme.

Northern Rock's favourite rock

The inclusion of a holding trust in the Granite structure which purportedly benefits a Down's Syndrome charity is a nice, if somewhat twisted, touch...

I’m not pretending for a second to understand how the 'Granite' securitisation programme operates. However, at least one of its possible purposes is to ensure that the financiers who lent money to Northern Rock via Granite get first call on Northern Rock’s assets in the event of the company going bust.

So, here’s the funny thing. If Northern Rock does go bust it is very likely that the depositors sit only just below the shareholders in the pecking order for bearing any loss.

And the shareholders stake can only absorb 4% of any loss on the break up and sale of Northern Rock’s assets.

And, generally speaking, fire sales usually command an ever so slightly higher discount than 4%

And then it would be the depositors' turn

And the anonymous people who really fund, really benefit from and probably really control the bank through Granite are nice and safe behind a big fat financial buffer provided by mug punters

I’ve tried to keep things simple but putting it crudely…
  • Northern Rock shares are probably worth fuck all, unless you’re daft enough to believe that intangible assets such as the Northern Rock brand or the commercial acumen of its crack, integrity-packed management team are worth something on their own
  • Until the moment when HM’s Government gave an explicit guarantee to back depositors’ cash, those depositors queuing outside the branches were 100% doing the right thing
  • Northern Rock’s management team may have employed some seriously grubby and, more to the point, poorly disclosed devices to separate depositors from their money in the event of serious difficulty

The last point is potentially the scariest as it’s hard to believe that Northern Rock is the only retail bank out there with this kind of shit in place. If people get wise to what Northern Rock was up to the next logical step is to find out which other banks have done something similar and yank deposits out of them as well, pdq

Hmmm, that could be fun

Let's all play the 'Hunt the thinly capitalised bank with shady, complex offshore funding arrangements and start a catastrophic bank run' game

It’s also worth pondering upon the fact that ordinary cash depositors are the only fuckers out there dumb enough to lend commercial institutions money without demanding either security or a level of return commensurate with a risky, unsecured loan.

When Northern Rock lends money to people, for instance, it demands their house deeds in exchange. On the other hand, the ordinary people who lend money to Northern Rock via their deposits are given a pretty little book with their name and some numbers printed in it in exchange for their money...

How fucking stupid is that?


Monday, September 24, 2007

Blobfish's Human of the Month

I've kindly allowed Blobfish access to my blogger account so that he(?) can have his own blog and run his(?) own 'Human of the Month' feature in parallel with my own much sought-after 'Fish of the Month/ Week/ Day' award

And it should come as no surprise that Blobfish's first ever Human of the Month is...

Alisher's the one wearing glasses btw


edit: this is nothing to do with Usmanov but thanks to b. for leaving a link to this important message by way of a comment

Go there now!! and be informed

And then play it to small children


edit #2: Now available on Youtube!! - my Joy is complete...


The Police - Your Friendly Guides

and, remember, no-one should have any problems with being filmed or put on a database if they've got nothing to hide


New Customers Only pt2

Yet another satisfied Northern Rock customer

See also: 'You're a big bank, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job. Now behave...'

Satisfied Northern Rock customer discussing recent corporate strategy decisions with a Northern Rock board member

etc etc


PS Best opening credits to a British film ever?

As always, I am quietly confident that everyone knows the answer to that question


Stef's Shopping Tips #428

Sainsburys have got both Toblerones and Muller Rice on special at the moment

though I caution against buying both at the same time...


New Customers Only pt1

One of the personal consequences of the implosion of Northern Rock has been that a couple of pensioners have asked me to look over their savings and other financial arrangements

And even though they smell vaguely of cat food and repeatedly call me by my brother's name they are not yet that far gone to believe a word of what the government, the television or the banking industry is telling them

Apparently, Northern Rock is 'on the mend'...

A personal message from Channel 4's Jon Snow informing me that Northern Rock is 'on the mend'

...which seems to be the new way of saying 'irredeemably fucked'

Personal experience gained from shuffling a few old ladies' savings around this last week, combined with some anecdotal evidence and my patented spooky psychic powers, tells me that, unsurprisingly, there have been some rather chunky, and largely unreported, flows of cash out of and into certain retail savings institutions

My spooky psychic powers are telling me that it's been a splendid week for the likes of building societies such as Nationwide, Britannia and Chelsea (try calling their new account opening phone numbers for a giggle)...

...not such a good week for the likes of banks such as Bradford & Bingley, Alliance & Leicester, HBOS (Halifax) or Barclays (Woolwich), any of which could easily be a lot sicker than we are being led to believe

and no prizes for spotting that my ESP is telling me that it is building societies which are feasting off the wounded flesh of banks which were once themselves building societies

Building societies were never exactly the most brilliantly managed institutions. They do however have several things going for them - especially the fact that building societies don't issue shares and are therefore immune to the kind of exciting stock market shenanigans which result in the bouncy, bouncy price variations that speculators find so rewarding

Maybe I missed it but the acres of media commentary and analysis generated as a result of (ex-building society) Northern Rock's demise somehow failed to touch upon all sorts of pertinent and potentially enlightening lines of thought:
  • the near death of building societies ten years ago, when large numbers of 'carpetbaggers' colluded with the banking industry in return for a few hundred poxy quid in windfall shares

  • the negative influence of the stock market on directors, under constant pressure and temptation to increase share prices through adoption of half-arsed, short-sighted business strategies; including ill-advised cost cutting, creative accounting and adoption of insanely risky business models

  • the role of powerful speculators armed with resources capable of distorting shares prices and rigging markets

  • the presence of quite a few people in the queues who appear to have 'saved' an awful lot of cash, or maybe they had piled up their loot off the back of the same lunatic housing bubble that looked liked it was going pop any minute, taking their unearned nest eggs with it - a few vaguely guilty consciences and a subconscious fear of an impending dose of cosmic yin and yang perhaps?

  • the Governor of the Bank of England telling the Treasury Select Committee when he appeared before it last week that, yes, the people pulling their money out of Northern Rock were behaving rationally. Their savings were not safe and would have either been lost or frozen for months if the Bank of England and the Government had not eventually intervened with an explicit guarantee

The BBC's sophisticated analysis of the roots of the Northern Rock crisis

All things considered it was much easier to blame a few thousand 'irrational', poorly informed grannies for the fuck up

The results of a rather dubious on-line poll run by the BBC last week - at least 65.91% of the astroturfers who responded were flat wrong


Who will save us now?

Tupperware fans around the world will be stunned to discover that New Scotland Yard Anti-Terrorism Superhero DAC Peter Clarke Kent has just announced his retirement

However, given that Clarke is only a fresh-faced 52 years old, it is likely that his razor sharp intellect and ace anti-terror skillz will be much sought after and put to good use in the private sector

It seems only fair that Peter collects a reward for his part in fighting the Eternal War on Terror

The awesome 'Delta 6250' aka Satan's Lunchbox - (with lid)

Peter has shared much of his wisdom and sage philosophy with us over the years, including this favourite quote which I think encapsulates so much about the way the Eternal War on Terror is being fought on our streets…

"It is no exaggeration to say that at the time of the arrest there was not one shred of admissible evidence against Barot. The arrest was perfectly lawful - there were more than sufficient grounds, but in terms of evidence to put before a court, there was nothing. There then began the race against time to retrieve evidence from the mass of computers and other IT equipment that we seized. It was only at the very end of the permitted period of detention that sufficient evidence was found to justify charges. I know that some in the media were sharpening their pencils, and that if we had been unable to bring charges in that case, there would have been a wave of criticism about the arrests. Barot himself of course eventually pleaded guilty last year and received a 40-year sentence."

Finding a replacement of equal calibre to Peter Clarke is going to be a nigh impossible task but if we want to continue preserving Western Civilisation by handing out life sentences to the mentally ill and people with suspicious kitchenware collections that successor has to be found

As an anonymous commentator opined by way of verse elsewhere…

Lines on the Retirement of DAC Peter Clarke

So. Farewell
Then Deputy Assistant Commissioner Peter Clarke.

You were
In charge of protecting Royalty when
Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997.

You were
In charge on July 7, 2005 when
bombs killed 52 people in the rush hour on the public transport system.

You were
In charge on July 22, 2005 when
An innocent Brazilian was killed,
With eleven shots spaced three seconds apart,
He was shot seven times in the back of the head
With bullets that left his face unmarked,
And once in the shoulder. The other three shots missed.

"Not on my watch",
That was your

My money
Is on Cressida Dick.

(E.J. Thribb 77 and a half)


and whilst on the subject of tWoTs and suspicious things in the kitchen, imagine my slight confusion the other day when browsing the Internet in search of a reasonably priced (i.e. cheap) bottle of plonk to order for someone in New Zealand and coming across this...

"In Australia, cleanskin wine is a term for bottled wine that does not carry a label or any other identifying marks. Cleanskin wines are sold in sealed cartons of six or twelve bottles and the carton must display a label that meets the minimum legal requirements as defined by Australian law.

Cleanskin wines have been sold in Australia since at least the early 1960's but are generally only popular during periods of imbalance in the Australian domestic wine market. Wineries will sell cleanskins to dump excess or unwanted wine stocks and do so to avoid the negative consequences of discounting their existing brands. This form of dumping often has very little to do with the quality of the wine and consumers can benefit greatly however there is always an element of risk when purchasing cleanskins.

In recent times, "cleanskins" have become equated with Australian terroir. Cleanskins are often sold based on region of origin rather than by winemaker or brand. Retailers will charge a premium for certain varietals from certain regions such as Riesling from the Clare Valley or Shiraz from the Barossa Valley"

Faceless Terroir Wine


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Sorry I Confused You

And the prize for the most astonishing blog post I've read for a long time goes to
Dilbert creator Scott Adam's piece entitled...

That would be the post that starts with...

"I was happy to hear that NYC didn't allow Iranian President Ahmadinejad to place a wreath at the WTC site. And I was happy that Columbia University is rescinding the offer to let him speak. If you let a guy like that express his views, before long the entire world will want freedom of speech."

and ends with...

"If Ahmadinejad thinks he can be our friend by honoring our heroes and opening a dialog, he underestimates our ability to misinterpret him. Fucking idiot. I hate him."

Whoever said that Americans can't do sarcasm?

See also Scott's follow up post, written in response to the enthusiastic reception given to '
A feeling I'm being had', entitled...

Which would be the post that starts

"In reading the comments to my post yesterday, I see that many of you were confused about my positions. Evidently all of you are brilliant, so I assume the problem is on my end. With your indulgence, allow me to clarify.

1. I am not happy that Hitler killed your relatives..."

Utterly gobsmacking


Friday, September 21, 2007

Public Service Announcement

"He's big! He's round! He's worth a billion pounds!"

"... He's also dreadfully litigious!"

Someone just sent me a link to a post in
Chicken Yoghurt's blog...

Public Service Announcement
Thursday September 20 2007 at 4:42 pm

Tim Ireland’s Bloggerheads site is currently down after his webhost pulled the plug. You can thank the latest Russian (that should be Uzbek) billionaire to reach the UK.

Tim’s currently also without email so if anyone needs to get hold of him, I’m happy to be the go-between and pass on any message by phone. My email address is at the top of the page.

This also means that the family of websites that Tim and Clive (whose site is also down) look after are also currently AWOL. So if you’re missing the online presences of Craig Murray, Bob Piper or Boris Johnson, now you know why they’ve gone.

Tim and Clive are now looking for a new web home from themselves and the rest and are hoping to be back within 48 hours. If any sympathetic souls would help spread the word, it would be most appreciated.

and, yes, the blogs in question do appear to be unavailable

Yet more proof, if ever it were needed, that we in the UK are gifted with the finest legal system that money can buy

Given that this situation appears to involve banning of blog sites and the British establishment's ongoing policy of kissing oligarch arse, two subjects dear to my heart, I should be joining in with others screaming from the rooftops about this

and I probably will

However, there is a certain degree of irony involved as at least one of the bloggers caught up in this has been involved in one or two unsound campaigns (imho) against blogs he doesn't like himself. On top of that, several of the blogs coming out against what has happened over the last couple of days have also been prone to heaping abuse on we Conspiraloons in the past and, presumably, the present - though I'm not sure as I stopped reading them some time ago

Personally, I'm all for finding common cause with decent people unhappy about the direction our lives are being pushed towards, even if they hold some beliefs that I believe to be misguided - and that includes people of religious, political or scientific faith. Divide and rule is a tactic of the powerful and I for one try very, very hard not to be suckered into that game

"Can't you see the difference between us?! He's Black on his LEFT side!! ...and he's got a bigger thingie!!"

So, yes, the latest act of censorship stinks and needs to be publicised and acted against. It would just be nice if some of the people caught up in it weren't in the habit of accusing my conspirabuddies who have issues with the 'Official Narrative' of 7/7 of being insane c*nts


edit: Lord Patel has more here

edit #2: Tim Worstall has compiled a list of bloggers who have commented on and criticised the actions of a certain Uzbek tyrant billionaire,
and his outstanding contributions to the cause of free speech in the UK, here


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Fool me once...

Thanks to LWTC247 for pointing me towards the latest incarnation of Northern Rock’s Homepage which is now given over entirely to a personal statement from Northern Rock’s CEO Adam J. Appletise.

As well as doing a very passable impression of the Evil Hood from Thunderbirds in the accompanying portrait, Adam also includes this outstandingly generous offer to people who have withdrawn money from Northern Rock over the last few days…

Northern Rock CEO - Adam J. Appletise

“I am also pleased to announce that any customer who has paid a penalty for withdrawing their investment, will have the penalty refunded if they re-invest the same amount in the same type of account by 5th October 2007.”

…but presumably only if the customers bend over, grab their ankles and ask nicely first

Carlo Ponzi would be well-impressed

Chancellor of the Exchequer - Alastair Darling


Another site worth a quick browse in these difficult times is the
Have Your Say page on the BBC site devoted to the question…

…which is in the process of being cut off from the rest of the BBC site and completely overrun by Conspiraloons
posting about the evils of the Federal Reserve, credit based money systems and being rogered senseless by bankers generally

As I type, the most recent post includes a personal favourite quote from a former director of the Bank of England Josiah Stamp

Former BoE director Josiah Stamp - a man with no known Thunderbirds look-alikes

"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take it away from them, and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money ."

Marvellous, marvellous stuff


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Rational decision making

It's fairly clear that the likes of the BBC and Sky have been told to 'cool it' today.

And the No.1 reason being given why people should leave their life savings in a mortally wounded bank that's managed by gibbons, when there are dozens of other deposit taking institutions often located next door to Northern Rock branches more than happy to take the money at comparable interest rates, is?

"It saves queuing outside in the rain"

I've got some news for the BBC and Sky...

It's not actually raining

and, apparently, there aren't any queues

On the other hand if Northern Rock depositors decide to stroll into their local branches in the blazing sunshine to transfer their life savings into a bank that isn't terminally fucked they won't be able to watch television and lap up all those fascinating stories about the McCanns and Foot and Mouth that are creeping back onto our screens

Hmmm, tricky choice



Some of the comments underneath this post include reference to coverage of the McCann story and the involvement of alleged master of the Media Dark Arts, Clarence Mitchell...

which reminded me of a curious wee interview given by the BBC to one of the people queuing outside Northern Rock's Golders Green branch earlier today

Not only was he about a third the age of your typical Northern Rock conspiraloon depositor he also explained in fairly eloquent terms that...

  • he was only queuing up to withdraw some money from Northern Rock so that he could buy shares in Northern Rock which were now a bargain price
  • he was going to leave the rest of his money in Northern Rock because it was just as safe there as anywhere else, probably safer
  • everything, in fact, was just fucking peachy Northern Rock customers waiting outside one of its braches go, a dream come true for both the bank and the government

Isn't it great when dreams come true

It was all a bit thick really and the Beeb wisely skipped repeating the interview in tonight's 10 o'clock bulletin


Monday, September 17, 2007

They're all Conspiraloons™ now - pt2

Channel 4 News tonight included an interview with a psychologist as part of its coverage of the run on Northern Rock. The message?

People who have been queuing to take their money out of Northern Rock are mental

Typical Northern Rock depositor

They're also a little bit thick and failed to comprehend the guarantees (sic.) made by the Bank of England, The FSA and the Government on Friday and over the weekend



this is an interesting line to take, given that those people were taking money out of a bank that had been rendered insolvent by management incompetence and were preferring instead to deposit their savings with one of the plethora of alternative financial institutions that have so far not imploded themselves to such a state that no other bank would touch them with a bargepole

Yup, totally bonkers

And as an unrepetent and proud member of the Conspiraloon Alliance, the sight of large numbers of people sick to death of being lied to, reacting against the establishment and being branded by the mainstream media as nutters for their pains pleasures me immensely

I love it

More please


It's also worth noting that, as with the fuel protests seven years ago, this 'direct action' taken by a few thousand angry members of the public has clearly shat our establishment up more than a couple of million people marching against the invasion of Iraq ever did

If you know where to poke it, The Beast is weak...


Who F**ks you Xtra? oooh oooh

...taken back in the days when wearing a straw boater was a mandatory requirement for anyone attending a bank run

Now that
Northern Rock is as good as finished and just waiting for someone to have the decency to administer the coup de grâce it's only reasonable to ask 'who's next?'

Fish of the Week

Because they pursued a similar business strategy to
Northern Rock, the two most popular names in the frame seem to be Bradford & Bingley and Alliance & Leicester. Like Northern Rock, they have given out mortgages far in excess of deposits taken and have had to fund their business from money borrowed from other banks. The problem being that other banks have a fair idea of how shite many of those mortgages are and are not lending the funds required.

Or so the story goes

Personally, I haven't looked over
B&B or A&L's books so I don't know how dire their predicament really is

But it doesn't really matter

long as people think those banks are in bad shape they are in bad shape

There are predators out there who have seen how panicky depositors are and how quickly a little negative publicity has crushed a bank's reputation and its share price. The stockmarket is more than ready for a little predatory
shorting of financial stocks

All you have to do is...

  • Sell a lot of Bradford and Bingley shares you don't actually own at the current market price, say £3.60, with a promise to deliver the shares to the buyer in a few days time
  • Hope that other speculators and nervous investors join in the sale-fest and drive the market price down to say something like £2.00 a share
  • At which point you buy the shares you 'sold' a few days before and turn them over to whoever bought them off you.
  • Bingo, you've made £1.60 a share selling stuff you didn't own, off the back of a panic you could very well have started
  • And just to be on the safe side and to make sure the share price doesn't rise instead of fall, there's no harm is spreading a few malicious rumours about the company you are mucking about with - there's nothing like TV coverage of mobs of terrified grannies clawing at a bank's front doors to really enhance its share price

Of course, if the company you're mucking about with is inherently strong and market sentiment is generally positive, playing this sort of game is a risky business.

Though, to be honest, if I were a c*nt in a stripy shirt and access to a trading screen right now I'd be sitting here with an erection, thinking 'dead cert'...

It's also worth pondering upon the fact that the people who ultimately stand to lose out from all of this are ordinary savers and people with pensions. That's the not so funny thing about credit bubbles and their aftermath, everyone loses - savers and spenders alike. At least the spenders got to buy some rubbish and have some nice holidays for a while

Of course, things will start to get really interesting if and when house prices start to fall as the result of lenders like Northern Rock, Alliance & Leicester, Bradford & Bingley, and all the others, pumping less money into the housing market with their shonky, fucked-up mortgages

and then, all that debt which built-up off the back of elevated house prices will become flakier and flakier

and then...

well, fuck knows



There's an intriguing little quote from BBC Business Editor Robert Peston on the BBC News site here...

"Mortgage banks and building societies such as Alliance & Leicester and Bradford & Bingley, as well as the bigger banks, have seen much of the money withdrawn from Northern Rock"

Now why would Mr Peston single out
A&L and B&B, out of all the players on the field, as being destinations for savers fleeing Northern Rock ? = An implied endorsement of those two banks by the State Broadcasting Company

Could someone else be worried that the knives will be out for those two institutions this week?

Total LoonThink
, obviously

And remember, it's only subliminal if you don't notice

edit #2:

At the close of today's working day it seems that Alliance & Leicester was selected as next in line for a well-deserved and potentially lucrative kicking on the stock market, though Bradford & Bingley hardly had a fun day either

And then at the end of all that...

The government announced that it was guaranteeing Northern Rock depositors' money


as outrageous an example of corporate welfare as you're ever likely to see

Apparently, UK taxpayers are now in the 'underwriting shitty loans made by private companies' business

What's our fee for doing that I wonder

Though this might stabilise the share price of banks which have specialised in shitty loans for a little while, it is unlikely that they will be able to continue pumping money into and inflating the housing market with their shitty loans. And it will be interesting to see just how large an appetite our government has for supporting shitty loans on our behalf in the days and weeks ahead. Rumour has it that there are one or two shitty loans out there

It would be nice to think that speculators who have shorted NR, A&L and B&B in the expectation of a share price bloodbath have been reamed by the government announcement and the positive impact it may have on share prices. However, the week is still young and I suspect much tomfoolery lies ahead...