Mid life crises and office cubes

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Noel's on top form today. After I posted the link to the 'Meet the Cubes' site he sent me a picture almost by return of post. It's not captioned, but I presume that it's his cube. Now there's a slap in the face for anyone labouring under the misaprehension that New Zealand is all about green open spaces, brawny women, prodigious quantities of sheep, hobbits and whale watching. They have cubes there as well.
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Now there's a thought. Maybe this will spiral into some kind of web meme, with lots of people emailing me pictures of their cubes. Then maybe I could collect all those pictures on a site called 'RateMyCube.com' then sell it to some Muppet for $4m on the basis of inflated projections of advertising revenue.
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On second thoughts, maybe not. However, if anyone chancing on this blog does have some additional cube pics I'd love to see them. Particularly if they’re really, really grim and make me laugh so much that I'm physically sick.
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I need a laugh because I am, all being well, due to hit a certain age in a few weeks time. Tick tock tick tock. I packed my 'professional' job in some time ago and still haven’t figured out the next step. Under the circumstances, pictures of people in cubes would definitely cheer me up and go some way to compensating for being poor and without a discernible future. Fortunately or unfortunately, I am still not yet old enough to credibly hold down a part-time minimum wage role in a Superstore and basically have more than enough time between now and retirement to start an entirely new, more meaningful career and get bored with that as well. If I'm quick I might even be able to fit two in as it happens.
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Don’t get me wrong. Getting older is a capital idea and infinitely preferable to the only other option that I'm aware of.
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Also, one of the benefits of hitting a certain age is that I will find myself in an even more contemplative frame of mind and will be in just the right kind of mood to distil all the wisdom that I have picked up over the years. Adoring adolescents will sit on my lap and gaze up at me in wonder as I dispense wisdom in copious and bountiful quantities. I will probably be arrested shortly afterwards on suspicion of grooming.
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The first piece of sage wisdom distilled from my life experience to date is the following:

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'It's never too late to get a sh*t job'

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Yes, there's always time to get a sh*t job so why hurry? Live a little first. If possible, live a lot first. I wish someone had told me that at 21. Without going into the soul searching and potted biographies that are the staple of blogdom, let's just say that I followed a particular life path because I was good at Maths and Science. I was also good at Literature and History but Maths and Science carried more weight with the adults around me and they advised me to follow that path. I enjoyed Literature and History a lot more but there aren't any proper jobs in that kind of stuff are there? Such is the price of growing up from relatively humble origins. The poorer your background the more likely you are to seek higher education that sounds like it might make you employable …
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Da da da di da … science A levels, science degree, work for a firm of accountants and, finally, sh*t job.
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Admittedly a sh*t job that pays well but at the price of your soul and only advisable if don’t have a soul to start with. And it doesn’t work out in the long-run anyway. You only end up having a mid-life crisis, jacking it all in and find yourself typing blogs about cubic office design and pornographic calling cards in telephone boxes. Overall, playing the game this way just isn’t a very good idea.
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If I ever get round to procreating and if I ever catch my kids using words like 'profession' and 'career' or opting for 'useful' subjects at school and not learning acoustic guitar, creating conceptual art and networking with other poseurs, I really will consider myself a failure.
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The amusing thing is that I'm thinking about becoming a teacher. I might even sneak in under the guise of a Trojan science or maths teacher. Imagine the fun I could have with a group of impressionable children. (puts on Freddie Kruger typing style) Maybe YOUR children HoHoHoHO!
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