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No serious blog entries for the next day or two methinks. I am going to be a good boy and spend some time trying seriously trying to come up with something productive to do with MMV (has a nice symmetry to it methinks). I have also committed to helping a friend design a short website for his new landfill monitoring training business and spend some time with another walking around London photographing squalor and curiousness. Or had I agreed to write a website about squalor and curiousness and photograph landfill sites? I get mixed up.
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Walking around looking for curiousness is important to me. How else, for example, would I find such things as the new pizza vending machines sprouting outside the more dubious 24/7 convenience stores of this great city?
Walking around looking for curiousness is important to me. How else, for example, would I find such things as the new pizza vending machines sprouting outside the more dubious 24/7 convenience stores of this great city?
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For only £4 you can be treated to a 'fresh baked' pizza within 90 seconds. Examining the machine close-up it is clear that it is large enough to accommodate an entire human being, microwave oven and supply of frozen pizzas. I hung around my nearest installation in a suspicious manner for some time yesterday, waiting to see if an illegal immigrant would pop out at some point for a toilet or cigarette break, but to no avail. Maybe they only employ non-smokers who pee inside the machine? Actually, the machines are heavily padlocked so I guess they shut the guys inside. Well, at least they won't starve to death and a lot of them sleep on the floor at work to save money to send home anyway ...
For only £4 you can be treated to a 'fresh baked' pizza within 90 seconds. Examining the machine close-up it is clear that it is large enough to accommodate an entire human being, microwave oven and supply of frozen pizzas. I hung around my nearest installation in a suspicious manner for some time yesterday, waiting to see if an illegal immigrant would pop out at some point for a toilet or cigarette break, but to no avail. Maybe they only employ non-smokers who pee inside the machine? Actually, the machines are heavily padlocked so I guess they shut the guys inside. Well, at least they won't starve to death and a lot of them sleep on the floor at work to save money to send home anyway ...
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Please forward all mail to: Stanlislav Ostrowski, c/o The Wonder Pizza Machine, Outside Khan's 24hr Happy Shopper, Kennington Park Road, London
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The pizza machine is inscribed with a .net website name and @hotmail email address, always a bad sign. They're probably being used to sell drugs. If not they will be converted to that purpose once the operators discover that's one of the only two things people are looking to buy on the streets of South London at 3.00am in the morning.
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And the other thing isn't pizza either.
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For those who would like to know more, here we go …
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Actually, on reflection, I'm not being altogether fair. There are several services that could be offered from a person-sized vending machine in the wee small hours around here. Off the top of my head I can think of:
- heroin; served hot, fresh and delicious, straight from the foil
- sex (not necessarily fresh or delicious)
- a fight
- a mugging victim
- a vicious, child-eating dog
I think I'm onto something here and may have found something productive to do with MMV. I will start to work on a rough menu selection for each of the possible services right away ...
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There goes my planned early night.
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