Adventures in Spam

Har Har Me Hearties!!!

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The ebb and flow of the Internet has finally returned to 419 scams.
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The content of spam does vary significantly over time. Most of my spam over the last few months has been related to 'Viagra Soft Tabs'. I'm no expert on Viagra but wouldn't be Hard Tabs be more marketable? Then, over the last few weeks a lot of people have been writing to offer me cheap Rolexes.
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Of course, certain products are always in fashion; affordable and proven 'enlargement' solutions are a good example. Recently a spammer offered to 'increase your penis size from 2 to 4 inches', which didn't strike me as being very complimentary to its target market. Naturally, if the offer was from 3 to 5 I would have been interested.

Recently, joy of joys, I've seen the comeback of my beloved Nigeria 419 scam emails. Like a local bus I haven't seen one of these for years and then I receive three in the same week. Here's the latest. If you decide to read through this puppy ask yourself 'Just how stupid would I have to be to fall for this?' and then marvel at the occasional appearances of people who did fall for stuff like this on Consumer Issue documentary programs.

Nigerian fraud email begins ...

Compliments
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Before I introduce myself, I wish to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail and I urge you to treat it serious. We want to transfer to an oversea account ($11,700.000.00 USD) Eleven Million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) from one of the banks in Africa. I want to ask you, If you are not capable to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end of this important business ,I am trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in future.
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I am Mr.Frank Hambeu, during the course of our auditing last week,I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 1996 and since 1998 nobody has operated on this account again, after going through some old files in the records,I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [Heir/WILL] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.
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The owner of this account Mr. Larry Baldridge an American and great industrialist and a resident of Novato, California, who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crahsed on January 31 2000,leaving nobody as nest of kin. You shall read more news about the crash on visiting this site: www.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/ - 38k. No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it,the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that the account is a secret account.The total amount involved is Eleven Million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only ($11,700.000.00) and we wish to transfer this money into a safe foreigners account abroad.
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But I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here, but to a foreigner who has information about the account, which I shall give to you upon your positive response. I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently.I need your strong assurance that you will never let us down, me and key bank officials who are deeply involved with me in this business. I guarantee that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
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The bank official will destroy all documents of transaction immediately we receive this money,leaving no trace to any place. I will use my position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments. At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 25% of the total amount,70% will be for us, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring.
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I look forward to your earliest reply through my email address: fhambeu@mail2banker.com and Call me on my direct telephone number for details:00221 5132211.
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Best Regards,
Mr.Frank Hambeu
Email:fhambeu@mail2banker.com
Tel: 00221 5132211