Caped Crusaders hit the streets

Elite sword-wielding security men in capes move in to protect British democracy

and promptly detain the wrong people

I looked in my London Diary yesterday morning and noticed that a pro-fox hunting demonstration was due to take place in Westminster. 'I won't bother going to that', I thought, 'that won't be very interesting'. But it was interesting. A line of police beat seven colours of poo out of a mass of demonstrators and a group of five protestors went for a stroll in the Commons Chamber; pursued by caped, sword-wielding security staff. Nearby, a man dressed as Batman climbed into Buckingham Palace. Meanwhile, less than a mile away I was sitting at home eating Doritos, my camera lying undrawn in its sheath.

What have I learned from these events?

• Labour MPs are much more concerned about the human rights of foxes than several thousand innocent and dead Iraqi civilians
• A growing number of people feel so starved of democratic representation that they are compelled to take direct action, sometimes dressed as Marvel action heroes
• Even though several thousand armed police in body armour patrol the streets of London, security in the House of Commons relied on men dressed like public school housemasters carrying swords. In a similar way to the fact that nail scissors are banned on planes but cigarette lighters are not, I think this behaviour demonstrates that our Rulers don't really believe in the domestic terror threat at all. All those police on the streets are out there to intimidate us not any fictional terorists.

On the same day Kufi Annan, UN Secretary General, stated quite clearly that the US and UK attack on Iraq was illegal and broke the terms of the UN Charter. Tony Blair's office responded quickly by saying 'oh yes it was'. Is it just me or is this just too surreal? Even Joseph Goebbels would have blushed a little working with the kind of material Blair and Co. have been churning out. Blair knowingly lied. He blatantly ignored international law. A lot of people died. Tony Blair is a murderer. It really isn't any more complicated than that. Yet, in a perfect demonstration of mass manipulation he's getting away with it. I feel unclean living in a country ruled by such a creature. Bombs are exploding in Baghdad and Tony Blair is farting on about Climate Change and Fox Hunting.

Most people don't really care that much either way about fox hunting. The majority are probably anti but this issue ranks about number 50 on their priority list. Yet, somehow the fox hunting debate has absorbed much, much more parliamentary time that the Iraq War or more significant domestic issues. In truth, the anti fox hunting lobby is really class war hiding behind a feigned interest in the fate of flea-ridden vermin. I don't like fox hunting. I'm all for class war. What I dislike is the profound dishonesty of many of the campaigners and the level to which they've subverted democracy. If a ban isn't passed by the House of Lords TB's government has declared that it will use the Parliament Act to bypass the Second Chamber. Nice one Tony, trample all over our constitution just to appease a few chattering urban lefties - 'Sorry about the illegal murderous war but how about a ban on fox hunting instead'. What a tool.

Of course the obvious answer to the fox-hunting issue has been staring us in the face all along. Why don't the hunters hunt the the hunt sabateurs? Obviously, it would have to be done in a truly sporting way. I understand that the Welsh longbow has a good record of halting cavalry and a thin screen of pikemen would help as well. You'd even be able to sell tickets; particularly if the crowd was allowed to finish off or ransom any survivors afterwards.

PS A straw poll taken of half a dozen people chatting in my local convenience store, not exactly frequented by members of the hunting set, indicates that all of those six people, black and white, thought yesterday's events were 'cool' and the understanadbale behaviour of people oppressed by an elected dictatorship. God knows what people in the countryside think ...