(Groovy) Snow

Arrivederci

Touch wood, off to NZ this afternoon

I managed to snag a residence visa last week so, provided I don't get caught committing any acts of genocide before teatime, I should be good to go

There'll be few, if any posts, on this blog probably for at least a couple of months

Thanks again to all who've contributed and engaged in some of the chats we've had. Hopefully we'll meet again - if not here then somewhere else; here or maybe here for instance

Peace

Stef

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Best Windows joke ever?

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Here

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Cornettos

Over the last few days I've received some disheartening emails from a few people who correspond with me in the context of this blog. It wouldn't be right to go into specifics but they share a common theme of people grappling with the realities of their own mortality

Which has got me thinking about Cornettos




About two years ago I was sitting in a hospital with my mother and my father

My father was suffering from cancer and had been in and out of hospital for three years; first for some surgery and then as a result of, surprise surprise, an infection contracted in the hospital after the surgery

My Dad would often complain about having a dry throat and he wasn't eating very much. We had got into the habit of picking up some ice creams from the hospital shop to share with him

So, there we were, all three of us eating Cornettos when his consultant appeared and sat down at the end of his bed. Then the consultant said something like...

'Well Tony. Your test results are in and, um, it seems that there's no more we can do for you. Now's the time to do whatever it is you want to do and to put you're affairs in order. OK, um, I've got to pop down to surgery now but if there's anything that I can help you with you know how to get hold of me. Righty ho, bye'

and then he fucked off

We were still holding our ice creams

which we proceed to finish off, in silence, being careful to pop the wrappers in the bin afterwards

There are a couple of reasons why I'm writing that story down

First off, because the image of me sitting there eating ice cream whilst my father was being told his number was up is one that will stay with me to my own dying day. Whenever anyone suggests that there is a Creator and that he has seriously warped sense of humour, I think ice cream

Secondly, for a moment after hearing the news, I thought about chucking my half-eaten treat into the bin but I checked out my parents and they continued chomping through theirs. And I remember thinking, fuck it, if I were to stop eating ice cream just because I know someone I care for is going to die, or that I'm going to die, I'd never eat another fucking thing, or do another fucking thing, ever again. Why should having a better idea of when the inevitable is going to happen make any difference?

though, it has to be said, that's the last Cornetto I've ever eaten and subsequently, whenever given the choice, I've always plumped for a cup rather than a cone

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I pasted up that link to the Sheldrake video a few posts back because, for all his faults, what Sheldrake and plenty of others are suggesting is that we, in spite of all of Dawkins' reductionist protestations, really haven't got the foggiest idea of what Life is all about. It might not all be just about selfish genes. I personally think that there probably is something else going on. Sheldrake and Co. are also reminding us along the way that Life is a wonderful, as well as a mind-bogglingly mysterious, thing. It is easy, particularly in hard times, to forget that

I cannot prove it scientifically but I am sure that Life is worth living, every day right up to your last, that it is the hard times rather than the good which bring out the best in people and, short of serious, debilitating pain, I would never consider condoning the termination of my, or anyone else's, existence prematurely

I'm glad that video resonated with a least a couple of people who clicked on the link and for anyone else who clicked but didn't feel the vibe, apologies, I'll try and find something else one of these days

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edit: and as luck(?) would have it, half an hour after I put this post up, I was walking down the road and noticed this newly chalked graffiti in the entrance to a boarded up pub...

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Tricky questions

I just came across this brain teaser in a form I'm completing...




Well that should sort out the genocidal maniacs who fill out forms honestly from those who don't quite effectively

...and, um, ex Prime Ministers

Having said that there was one time when I filled in a visa entry form, into New Zealand as I recall, with a dozen questions like - 'Are you are spy?', 'Are you a wanted criminal?' 'Are you a wanted terrorist?' and some bureaucrat with a sense of humour had hidden a question like 'Are you NOT a drug smuggler?' in the middle somewhere - just ticking the 'No' box twelve times without reading the questions wasn't a good idea

How we laughed at the desk as the customs official reached for the rubber gloves...

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Special Ramadan Commemorative Post

Yummm, that looks delicious...

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Geocache of the Week - GCM5RC

Runner Up - GCWW99Y...

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A fascinating new passtime

I've spent most of my spare time over the last few weeks hoofing around London trying to walk off a few pounds - ten or more miles at a time

This can get a little boring at times and I've been casting around for something to spice up my walks.

Photography is always a good stand-by but the weather, and the lighting, has been pretty rubbish of late

And then, the little GPS unit I use to mark out my routes and record my walks inspired me to think about participating in the vibrant geocaching community




Geocaching involves hiding waterproof containers containing a logbook and treasure (i.e. some plastic crap), the location of which you post on the web, for other people who are into that sort of thing to find with the aid of GPS




When you find a cache you leave an entry in the logbook, maybe take a picture, and swap some crap you brought with you for some of the crap in the box




For obvious reasons, geocachers have to be careful when searching for caches and ensure that members of the general public don't see the caches and trash them

For equally obvious reasons, a moment's thought will suggest that geocaching has the potential to get you into all sorts of interesting situations and zany adventures; involving as it does -

• lurking around and behaving furtively in parks and other public places

• hiding tupperware boxes in those parks and public places

• walking around town with a backpack, a camera and a handheld GPS

• having the lamest of excuses for what you are doing when challenged by members of the public or the security forces

The emphasis on the tupperware boxes is, in particular, a stroke of genius




An interesting side-effect of of geocaching is that maps of cache locations offer an interesting insight as to where cachers feel comfortable enough to hide sealed tupperware boxes without running the risk of being shot. The maps are, in effect, a rough indicator of 'security' hot and cold spots

Central London's extensive network of caches thins out considerably near places like Buckingham Palace, Parliament Square, Waterloo Station and Canary Wharf but I can't help noticing that there's a heap of caches in and around The City proper

Someone should be told

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The more things change the more they stay the same pt239

I'm currently working through the Gill Scott Heron back-catalogue on my wireless personal gramophone

Highlights so far include...


The Revolution will not be televised

"There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay"

Hmmm...


Whitey in Iraq on the Moon





B-Movie




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Headline of the Week

Pimp My Mousemat

• Multi-function Mouse Mat
• Designed for you to place your mouse and enable you have better control of it.
• It also can be used as a stereo speaker, a microphone and a 4 ports USB hub.
• No doubt this multi-functional mouse mat will bring more pleasure to you.
• It requires no installing drivers, plug and play.
• The USB hub is compatible with Universal Serial Bus Specification Version 1.1 and 2.0.
• It is designed with a blue LED light and an earphone jack.
• It can be powered by external power (DC 5V) too.
• It is suitable for all windows operation system, 2000, XP, Vista.
• 100% Brand New

Go on. You know you want one

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What It's All About

There's a guy called Don Harrold who produces a series of Youtube videos on the US financial markets

A couple of days ago Don put out something a little different

Anyone who has lost someone close to them especially, I think, if that someone took a while a passing will know exactly what Don is talking about

But, being human, we start to forget that feeling after a while - which is a shame as it is the single most valuable lesson there is to learn





and it's no accident that our supposedly superior, consumerist culture bends over backwards in its efforts to help us forget that lesson with every fibre of its being

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Tonight on BBC Four

Given that the show is presented by someone who worked for MI5 for thirty years, the non-partisan objectivity of this show is virtually assured ...

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Is that Guy Pearce sitting next to the Russian defence minister?

Congratulations to Finnish Foreign Minister and Chair of the OCSE Alexander Stubb for brokering a cease-fire between Russia and Georgia

Alexander Stubb

Kudos too for his amusing resemblance to a perma-tanned Guy Pearce

Guy Pearce

And some of the photography on his homepage is pretty special as well...






Alexander strikes me as a very interesting individual; capable of negotiating the suspension of the most savage genocidal conflicts, yet sensitive and comfortable with himself enough to prance around cyberspace like a complete nonce




I salute him


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Knock off Nigel

Meanwhile, over at The Pirate Bay...



Yo ho ho...

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Going, going... not gone

Obviously someone didn't watch the BBC's Conspiracy Files...

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More (More) The The - aka If only Matt Johnson did weather forecasts...

Thanks to The Antagonist for reminding me of this other little number from The The's prophetic Matt Johnson...




They're 5 miles high as the crow flies
leavin' vapour trails against a blood red sky
Movin' in from the East toward the West
with Balaclava helmets over their heads, yes!

But if you think that Jesus Christ is coming
Honey you've got another thing coming
If he ever finds out who's hi-jacked his name
He'll cut out his heart and turn in his grave

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on its elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message and worships the creeds

It's war, she cried, It's war, she cried, this is war
Drop your possessions, all you simple folk
You will fight them on the beaches in your underclothes
You will thank the good lord for raising the union jack
You'll watch the ships sail out of harbour
and the bodies come floating back

If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
Oh, the lights that now burn brightest behind stained glass
Will cast the darkest shadows upon the human heart
But God didn't build himself that throne
God doesn't live in Israel or Rome
God doesn’t belong to the yankee dollar
God doesn't plant the bombs for Hezbollah
God doesn't even go to church
And God won't send us down to Allah to burn
No, God will remind us what we already know
That the human race is about to reap what it's sown

The world is on its elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message and worships the creeds
Armageddon days are here again


...written in 1988

(That's Johnny Marr on guitar - the man behind the guitar work on The Smiths' How Soon is Now - described as 'The Stairway to Heaven of the Eighties' and best consumed drunk in a lonely bedroom after a washout Saturday night. Also now available in a jaw-droppingly bad Russian lesbian schoolgirl version)

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The more things change the more they stay the same

Heartland from The The's Infected, because it came up in conversation with some fellow Loons yesterday...





Beneath the old iron bridges, across the Victorian parks
And all the frightened people running home before dark
Past the Saturday morning cinema
That lies crumbling to the ground
And the piss stinking shopping centre in the new side of town

I've come to smell the seasons change and watch the city
As the sun goes down again

Here comes another winter
Of long shadows and high hopes
Here comes another winter
Waitin' for utopia
Waitin' for hell to freeze over

This is the land where nothing changes
The land of red buses and blue blooded babies
This is the place where pensioners are raped
And the hearts are being cut from the welfare state

Let the poor drink the milk while the rich eat the honey
Let the bums count their blessings while they count the money

So many people can't express what's on their minds
Nobody knows them, nobody ever will
Until their backs are broken, their dreams are stolen
And they can't get what they want, then they're gonna get angry!
Well it ain't written in the papers but its written on the walls
The way this country is divided to fall
So the cranes are moving on the skyline
Trying to knock down this town
But the stains on the heartland can never be removed
from this country that's sick, sad and confused

Here comes another winter
Of long shadows and high hopes
Here comes another winter
Waitin' for utopia
Waitin' for hell to freeze over

The ammunition's being passed and the Lord's been praised
But the wars on the televisions will never be explained
All the bankers gettin' sweaty beneath their white collars
As the pound in our pocket turns into a dollar

This is the 51st state - of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state - of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state - of the U.S. of A.
This is the 51st state - of the U.S.A.

This is the 51st state - of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state - of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state - of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state
State
State
State
State
State


was this really released as long ago as 1986?

f*** me...

/ old

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The Ladybird Book of Policemen

more here and, not forgetting, here


Other titles in the series include...



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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

A little special something that caught my eye on ebay just now and the perfect Fathers Day gift...



Hmmm...

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