Thursday, September 14, 2006

A website with substantially even less traffic than this one



not forgetting its sister site


which, curiously, seems to be coming up as a 404 in my browser

OK, maybe it's not that curious

As it happens, I too set up my own humble attempt at a Tony Blair appreciation page; several years ago and pre Blogger. I think it's still out there somewhere but I can't remember where I hosted it. I did, however, keep screen dumps of its most original and erudite content...



That's the thing about classic design. It never goes out of fashion

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Stef's stock tips

"If your pictures aren't good enough, you're not close enough"


And this year’s Robert Capa Golden Claymore award for the most sensitive spam share tip must go to this quality email forwarded to me by a chum…


W_A T_C_H O U T! Here comes the big one! All signs show that AETR is going to Explode!

ALLIANCE ENTERPRISE (AETR) Current Price 0.80 Add this gem to your watch list, and watch it trad closely!

NEWS RELEASE

TAECORP ANNOUNCES BREAKTHR0UGH IN REMOVING DEADLY LANDMINES.

MILL VALLEY, CALIFORNIA August 25, 2006 - The Alliance Enterprise Corporation announced today a breakthr0ugh in developing an Aerial Landmine System aimed at locating, detecting and mapping deadly landmines.

More than 100 million landmines in 83 countries are holding international communities and industries hostage, preventing the investment in and development of productive lands and the re-building of infrastructure. A broad variety of landmines have been scattered over productive areas effectively crippling the economy and disabling thousands of children and adults. There are no reliable records that accurately show where these devastating landmines lie in wait for their victims.

With the present day costs to clear a single land mine ranging between $1,000 to $1,500, solving the problem of de-mining lands will reach billions of dollars. TaeCorp has developed a technology based, cost effective solution to this problem using its three tiered approach to scanning, mapping and removing landmines. TaeCorp's System will provide many social and economic benefits to countries and their industries including oil and gas, mining, agriculture, roads and infrastructure development.

About TaeCorp.

TaeCorp's vision is to be the recognized leader in providing Aerial Detection Systems including global de-mining, clearing a path to a safer planet for all humankind.

TaeCorp's mission is to reclaim lands around the globe embedded with landmines that victimize countries and their stakeholders.

Conclusion: The Examples Above Show The Awesome, Earning Potential of Little Known Companies That Explode Onto Investor's Radar Screens; Many of You Are Already Familiar with This. Is AETR Poised and Positioned to Do that For You? Then You May Feel the Time Has Come to Act... And Please Watch this One Trade tomorrow! Go AETR.


As the old saying goes - No pain. No gain


Say what you want about the Nazis no woman has ever had a fantasy about being tied up and beaten by a man dressed as a liberal

Well, it looks like I’ve already fallen foul of the new offence of looking at torture porn on the Internet



It’s amazing what they’ll print in Vogue these days.

There are some nice high-res scans of the full set here. Alternatively, Vogue have put them all together in a tasteful flash animation; including some loud police siren noises and feet hovering up and down above models’ necks.



Serious social commentary or the manifestation of a fucked-up superficial mindset taken straight out of Zoolander?


Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.


Truly we live in an age where parody is virtually obsolete

And let’s face it, the fashion industry does have a track record for this sort of thing. Ever thought that those black SS uniforms looked kind of cool? Well, you can thank Hugo Boss for that.

Whatever the thinking behind the Vogue photographs, it’s all very peculiar … and strangely arousing.


Shoot a Brazilian and win a prize

‘One of the senior officers in charge on the day Jean Charles de Menezes was shot dead by police is to be promoted.

Commander Cressida Dick is to become a deputy assistant commissioner, the Metropolitan Police Authority (MPA) announced on Tuesday.’


I know! Why don't we shoot him in the face!


The best quote of the day on the promotion came from our beloved Mayor Ken Livingstone

"I am particularly pleased to note the appointment of two women to the position of deputy assistant commissioner which sends out a very powerful positive signal about the development of the Met as a modern police service."

The positive signal being that it’s OK to execute an innocent man and be promoted as long as you’re a woman?



I’m all for female empowerment but this seems a trifle excessive.

Obviously the members of the Metropolitan Police Authority are big fans of the principles set out in such scholarly works as Catch 22 and LA Confidential. As in, when faced with a really embarrassing fuck up give the bozo responsible a medal or promote them and pretend they did something really clever.

It’s a winner.

"I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence
to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job
."


Or maybe the MPA are Judge Dredd fans



Which is also more than possible.

‘Dredd is a law enforcement officer in a violent city of the future where uniformed Judges combine the powers of police, judiciary and government. Dredd and his fellow Judges are empowered to arrest, sentence and even execute criminals on the spot.’

I can remember back to a time when the Dredd comic strip was a fantasy parody of fascism. It seems more like serious mainstream journalism today.

Which is kind of ironic, given that most serious mainstream journalism today reads like a fantasy parody of fascism.

I can also remember confusing Judge Dredd with Judge Dread, the chubby white reggae star who spent his entire career singing about how very big his willy was and who, to my knowledge, didn’t execute anybody as part of his act.



But I digress

All together now

Shave your beard if you're brown and you best salute the crown
Or they’ll do you like Brazillians and shoot your ass down

Monday, September 11, 2006

Link pimping

9/11


Every man and his dog is writing about 9/11 today so I’ll pass on that one. This piece on the Rense site sums up my feelings on the subject pretty well anyway...

911 – A Modern Fairy Tale

This, by no means, constitutes an endorsement of Rense’s site BTW. Sites like his do an excellent job of conflating serious political ‘truth seeking’ with moonbat nonsense about space aliens and remote viewing. Whether by accident or design, that kind of behaviour serves the ends of only one group of people I can think of, and I’m not part of it.



They hate us for our freedoms

Fortunately, in spite of 9/11,7/7 et al, our leaders have managed to prevent Islamic Terrorists from changing our sacred way of life because they hate it so

well, mostly

Dave Gorman, King of London-based Rock Balancers, has shared a little story via Flickr about how he was stopped and questioned under anti terror legislation whilst taking pictures of Battersea Power Station.

Well, he could have been planning an attack on an uninhabited building site and, let’s face it, pictures of Battersea Power station are pretty hard to come by



I can’t wait to hear about what happens to the person behind this blog…

Little People Blogspot

… on their first contact with the police



Policeman:Excuse me sir, can I ask you what you’re doing?’

LPB person: ‘Taking pictures of tiny little plastic people acting out scenes of London life in public places’


Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that one

Um, what other Freedom!!! related links are there lurking on my desktop …

Oh yes



The Young Explorer’s Biometric Recognition Set – because it’s fun to be scanned

'The Young Explorer's Full Body Cavity Search Kit' can only be just around the corner, so to speak.

and

Air passengers could have their conversations and movements monitored as work intensifies to design the terrorist-proof aeroplane

After all, just because something is impossible there’s no harm in spunking away millions and establishing police state style surveillence trying to make it happen.

Is there?

Nor is there any harm in the State Broadcasting Service censoring and editing people’s comment in the ‘Have Your Say’ section of its website

Newsniffer

Actually, it is kind of fun seeing what the unseen censors decide to take out.


The headline that never was

Can you just imagine the anguish in newspaper offices up and down the land when faced by the temptations presented by the victim's name in this undeniably tragic news story

Boy ‘executed’ in city shooting

Someone’s bound to crack eventually


Enviro-Arse

Without going into the full back story now, I for one am not entirely convinced by the global warming thing and detect a far from subtle stench of globalist manipulation behind the entire climate change circus. I can still remember back to the late 1970s and early 1980s when the same types who are pushing the pollution and global warming story were farting on about resource depletion and global cooling. Only this time round they’ve got some serious backing.

World climate does change, sure enough, it always has, but my money is on global cooling in the near future and unless we can figure out a way to control the heat output of the Sun or change the Earth’s orbit there’s fuck all we can do about it…

Russian Scientists Forecast Global Cooling in 6–9 years

We’d all be better off thinking about ways to deal with the changes that will undoubtedly happen rather than doing the Canute thing but right now there’s no money in that line of thinking so no one can be bothered.

On the bright side, I’ve just popped my postcode into the Environment Agency’s post-Katrina interactive London flood map and the good news is that if London is swamped by rising sea levels most of Lambeth will become the New Atlantis (the only difference with the old one being that no one will spend any time looking for it), leaving my flat as a desirable beach side property. Best start building that marina in my back yard now.



Filth

  • Official website of a pub with vaguely obscene name, conveniently located only five miles from Hawes, here

(connossieurs of 1970s politically incorrect schoolboy humour will note that this comes dangerously close to the classic - Lawrence Lykes, The Cockwell Inn, Tillit, Herts - that I still use regularly when signing onto mandatory on-line registration forms)

  • Harry the Hamster’s dating agency video here – not especially funny, just plain obscene (248,000+ views and counting) ... and the Scottish version


The Joys of Lambeth pt226

The day after I wrote a blog posting about how Lambeth is the kind of place where you can stab a woman in a frenzied attack at nine o’clock on a weekday morning, run off covered in blood and not get caught, a fat, brightly coloured envelope plonked through my letterbox.

It was an information pack from Lambeth Council.

My favourite part was the selection of six complimentary Lambeth Life postcards we’re all presumably supposed to send to friends and relatives around the world to make them jealous.

Clearly, the producers of the cards come from the Blairesque ‘If we only think and express happy thoughts nobody will notice how shit everything really is’ school of philosophy.

NB Triumph of the Will was made in 1935

The booklet of useful council services that came with the cards kind of took the edge off the ‘only think happy thoughts’ process a little; filled as it is with contact details of drug therapy units, battered wives shelters and mental health councillors.

Anyway, inspired as I was by these postcards I thought about producing my own competing set, spent five minutes rooting around my Flickr photostream and came up with my own selection of Lambeth Life photos suitable for use in a souvenir postcard collection. OK, a couple come from nearby Southwark but much of there is pretty shite too…

  • Convenience store firebombing (two fatalities)
  • Money wiring/ laundering service
  • Missing cat (subsequently found decapitated along with half a dozen others)
  • Six traffic wardens working my street simultaneously
  • JCdM shooting shrine
  • Yellow 'murder board' (schoolgirl raped at knifepoint)
  • Two blokes going through the contents of my bin
  • Firebombed motorbike
  • Illegal migrant staffed brothel on the Old Kent Rd
  • Human shit on smashed bus shelter glass
  • Standard SLP headline - 'drug use worst in UK'
  • Discarded heroin addict paraphernalia outside my flat (bloodstained undergarments cropped out of frame)
  • Superstrong lager connoisseur
  • Bogus ID for illegals on sale
  • Murder scene (Black Prince Rd)
  • Half bottle of 'High Commissioner' scotch (my favourite brand) filled with piss next to my flat

Of course, this is only a representative selection. For example, I could have chosen any one of dozens of pictures of yellow murder boards and crime scene photographs from my extensive collection; though I did stop adding to it a little while ago because it wasn't funny any more.

Could I have come up with a similar haul of pictures ten or twenty years ago? Yup, no argument there. But it would have been a lot harder. Much harder. What people take for granted today would have been considered unusual back then.

So, even if I were to forget the war on terror, the invasions, the erosion of civil liberties, and levels of corruption that would put Italians to shame, I'd still have a sackful of issues about what our current government has done to my city, and presumably lots of other people’s cities.

Our schools are shit, our hospitals are bankrupt, our underclass is burgeoning and our police are off chasing pixies. And all this in spite of the fact that we've never spent more on our public services.

The mantra ‘Well, it’s better than Thatcher’ just won’t cut it anymore.

On one level, the causes for the range of problems I see all around me are numerous and complicated. On a higher level they all boil down to the basic issue of a tiny number of people having a right old laugh at the expense of the rest of us. And who out there would have the balls to suggest that the entire New Labour project is not buried so far up the arse of that tiny ruling elite that it can’t see daylight?

So, forgive me for not getting too excited about the possible demise of Tony Blair and not buying into the notion that everything will be back on track and hunky dory once he has been dealt with.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Big hairy 9/11 bollocks courtesy of the BBC


Per the BBC News website 7th September 2006:

Arabic TV channel Al-Jazeera has broadcast what it says is unseen footage of Osama Bin Laden meeting some of the 9/11 hijackers.

Al-Jazeera also showed "suicide" videos by Wael al-Shihri and Hamza al-Ghamdi, two of the hijackers who crashed planes into the World Trade Center.


Per the BBC News website 23rd September 2001:

Saudi Arabian pilot Waleed Al Shehri was one of five men that the FBI said had deliberately crashed American Airlines flight 11 into the World Trade Centre on 11 September.

His photograph was released, and has since appeared in newspapers and on television around the world.

Now he is protesting his innocence from Casablanca, Morocco.

He told journalists there that he had nothing to do with the attacks on New York and Washington, and had been in Morocco when they happened. He has contacted both the Saudi and American authorities, according to Saudi press reports.

He acknowledges that he attended flight training school at Daytona Beach in the United States, and is indeed the same Waleed Al Shehri to whom the FBI has been referring.

But, he says, he left the United States in September last year, became a pilot with Saudi Arabian airlines and is currently on a further training course in Morocco.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Joys of Lambeth pt225

News of the first fatal stabbing of the month in my area still trickling in…

A man who stabbed a woman to death in a "frenzied" attack as she walked to work is being hunted by police.

The 55-year-old victim was attacked in Wickham Street, Kennington, south-east London, on Tuesday morning.

A witness saw her fall into the road after a struggle with a man, who then repeatedly stabbed her.

I particularly enjoyed the line

One local resident claimed there had been another serious stabbing close to the murder scene a week ago, when a friend of his had been stabbed in the face by a man of similar description

Ah well, I guess all our police are busy dealing with more important, scarier, more liquid things. I, for one, am a lot more afraid of exploding hair gel and ricin-coated tooth brushes than having a knife wielding psychopath wandering outside in my neighbourhood somewhere.

And is it really only a couple of weeks since Sir Ian Blair gave that interview? …

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair has said parts of London are returning to an era of neighbourliness and low crime. He said residents in Haringey, north London, are now happy to leave their front doors open and unlocked. Sir Ian said community-based Safer Neighbourhood Teams were making people feel as safe as they did 25 years ago. He also likened neighbourhood police team leaders to "the sheriff" who dealt with matters in their area

A quick recap on Sir Ian Blair's take on the state of law and order in London...

Be very, very scared of hordes of terrorists. Don't be worried about the knife-wielding crack-fuelled psychopaths

What are the chances of one country having two completely useless, yet apparently unstoppable, fantasist pricks in charge of key aspects of our security both with the same surname?

Maybe I’ll pass on popping out to the local convenience store for that pint of milk tonight. No, not the one that was firebombed with two blokes inside it a few months ago, the other one.

Not the crime scene in question as there's no f^cking way I'm
wandering around there tonight

Holidays in Hell

Whether by accident or design, this War in Terror business has been doing a stand-up job of knocking other stories out of the headlines; for getting on five years now.

Take yesterday for example.

The Top 5 UK and Ireland news stories as selected for me by Yahoo when I first flipped on the Internet for the day…

The full scoop isn’t yet in on the Stingray that did for Steve Irwin, but five pounds says the fucker was a Muslim.

Even if the ray wasn't a member of Al Qaeda that's still an impressive 4/5 score for the War on Terror.

And what about our Poor Bloody Infantry. We’re losing one here, one there, every couple of days and for what? Southern Iraq’s gone tits up and there’s so much heroin pouring out of Afghanistan via the Balkans into the UK you can get fixed up in London for roughly the same price as a pint of premium lager.

All this probably goes a long way to explaining the rash of Army Recruitment ads we’ve seen in the national media over the last few months. At least I think they're for the army. Most of the ads seem to concentrate on the sports facilities and the rigorously heterosexual nightlife available to the modern British Infantryman and have a vague Club 18–30 air about them. Even the material that focuses on the combat side of things seems quite coy about the whole Middle East/ furious native thing and prefers to depict soldiers noncing around in thick, rather European-looking woodland… or skiing.

Something similar went on in 80s when squaddies were being picked off one by one on the streets of Belfast. No imagery of Northern Ireland, plenty of shots of beach sports in Belize and Cyprus.

3rd Para Battlegroup, Helmand Province , Afghanistan

I guess if I could remember that far back I could probably dig out some recruitment posters from 1915 that portrayed Ypres as being just like Butlins, only more Belgian.

As some people who shrug their shoulders when I get into a lather about all shit the going on in the world around us say to me

Nothing changes. It’s always been the same. And it always will

Friday, September 01, 2006

Keith Olbermann is annoyed

Some videos to share

John the Revelator

When someone first sent me the link to this unauthorised video of a Depeche Mode song I thought it would be a cover of the Son House track of the same name only more, er, German. How wrong I was. The classic Depeche Mode leather-clad scheisse porn vibe we’ve all come to love is there sure enough but they’ve also come up with some new lyrics… and a new tune.

So it’s not really the same at all

Of course the biggest problem with any anti-Bush, or anti-Blair, activism like this video is that it helps feed the lie that Bush, or Blair, are individually the cause of all the World's woes. A lot of Labour party supporters are currently kidding themselves for example that everything will be just fucking peachy once Blair is removed.

If only things were that simple.

Keith Olbermann

A clip of MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann explaining point by point why he thinks Rumsfeld, Bush et al are Nazi scum. As with much of Olbermann’s recent output most of what he says applies to the UK as much as the US.

I know a lot of Americans labour under the belief that the media here in the UK is a lot freer and more informed than in the States. As a general rule of thumb that may be true but we have no-one, but no-one, saying the kind of things Olbermann is saying in the US, albeit to a small audience, over here in the UK.

George Carlin is also fairly annoyed - can you tell?

And the number of mainstream British comedians delivering material like Carlin's is ...?

That's right

Fuck all

-

and of lesser social import…