TV Censorship

Nothing to do with this post - it's the only thing I photographed today (just outside my front door)

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I was watching TV this evening when the announcer said something like ...

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'In place of tonight's scheduled films we will be showing a feature-length episode of Dalziel and Pascoe followed by Robin Williams in the inspirational comedy Patch Adams'

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I was pretty annoyed at this news because Tracy had got out a rental DVD of Insomnia earlier in the day and two doses of Robin Williams is more than any mortal can bear in 24 hours. I was also curious. What were the two films that the BBC had pulled? A quick look at Teletext supplied the answer - The Rock, followed by The Dogs of War. Talk about a master-stroke from the schedulers at the Beeb. Presumably the movies had been replaced in the wake of Ken Bigley's execution a couple of days ago. I can see the logic. The Rock features people in a hostage situation and the Dogs of War is all about mercenaries illegally overthrowing a dictatorial regime. Both movies clearly have echoes with the current situation in Iraq, particularly The Dogs of War.

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It's not that any of the unfortunate Ken Bigley's family members were likely to be watching TV this evening, it's more to do with the fact that a handful of idiots with time on their hands would undoubtedly have made formal complaints about the 'inconsiderate and thoughtless actions' of the BBC. Forget the fact that the we've been merrily consuming violent mind-shit on television and cinema for years, whilst dusky brown people have been slaughtered all round the round. Nope, for some reason, Ken Bigley's death is more significant than the ten of thousands of Iraq civilians killed over the last two years or our own soldiers come to that. So, for this weekend and this weekend only, the BBC eased up on the fictionalised Death Porn. Come to think of it, anyone who has read or seen The Dogs of War would probably rate that as a more accurate and less sensationalised depiction of the kind of things that happen in the World than much of the junk shown on CNN, Sky or the BBC (Sean 'I'm so nervous I'm smoking 60 a day' Langan's and John 'my ears are bleeding' Simpson's work being worthy exceptions).

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So, no Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer action movies or documentaries on the French Revolution for us this Saturday then. Not much chance of any channel screening Carry On Don't Lose Your Head as a Sunday matinee either. This could be bad news for the American movie industry. What would it do if its entire back, and future, catalogue of action movies were banned for featuring hostages, plane crashes and acts of terrorism? Say goodbye to:

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Mission Impossible II - 747 into a mountain / terrorists spreading bio weapons

Die Hard I - hostages

Die Hard II - 747 into ground / shots of screaming passengers enveloped by flames on impact

Executive Decision - 747 / Suicide Hijackers / Bio-weapon payload (9/11 was loosely based on this movie)

Air Force One - 747 / Terrorists

True Lies - Jihad-crazed Terrorists / Nukes

Patch Adams - Robin Williams making us a laugh and cry all at the same time

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etc etc

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Presumably, if our TV channels can't show this kind of stuff any more they'll just have to hang out and hope for some more Russian school massacres that they can give wall to wall coverage to.

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The truth is we've been educated to view the fictionalised depiction of terrorists killing civilians as entertainment. I would suggest that we've been deliberately fed this material to condition us in advance, so that we're densistised to what our governments are doing to the World now. All in all, replacing a couple of movies for one night because of one, well-publicised execution is pathetic.

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As a minor aside, what is it with Robin Williams? Everyone loves him. I love him. But why is that? His films are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo shit. 'Robin Williams is the zany teacher/ doctor/ psychiatrist/ wartime DJ/ photolab technician with a heart, fighting against oppression. He'll make you'll laugh! He'll make you cry!'

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He'll make you vom.

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OK maybe not the photolab technician. I spent the first 80 minutes of that movie wondering when it would actually start and the last 15 wanting it to finish ...

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Fun Facts - Film producer Don 'Elvis was a fag health freak' Simpson died January 19, 1996 at 52 from an overdose of 21 drugs. So extensive was his drug use that he stocked his bedroom closet with over 15,000 sedatives, amphetamines, tranquilizers, antipsychotics, narcotics and other drugs - and arranged them all in alphabetical order.

Where are their house keys?

http://www.people.virginia.edu/~ds8s/moyra/identity.html

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Somebody called Moyra Peralta has put up a 'gritty' exposition of the pitiful state of London's homeless in the form of a photo essay that displays the contents of a number of homeless peoples' pockets and bags.

Personally, I don't buy it for a second as the contents look far too sanitised but maybe the Moyra worked on a different part of London to what I'm accustomed to, or maybe the real hardcore scummers turned her down. Judge for yourself ...

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http://www.people.virginia.edu/~ds8s/moyra/identity.html

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I am particularly familiar with the contents of London's homeless' peoples pockets because an assortment of junkies have taken to shooting up outside my bedroom window over the last few months. I now have the pleasure of cleaning up their discarded drug paraphenalia plus occasional turds or discarded and soiled undergarments every week or so. I made the great mistake some time ago of not giving a pair of them a hard time when I caught them slurping crack outside my bedroom window. I clearly demonstrated that I am a soft touch and now all their friends come to play in the veritable safe haven that is the front of my flat.

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Thanks to my tolerant approach I am cheerfully looking forward to the day when one of them decides that there might be something worth stealing and swopping for heroin on the other side of my bedroom window. Unsurprisingly, to me at least, the homeless people having such a good time taking drugs and crapping on my doorstep are educated and apparently middle class; social exclusion has got nothing to do with their predicament. They just like crack and heroin to the exclusion of everything else.

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For a taste of the kind of pleasures they bring into my life hit the link below and scroll about 70% down the page ...

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/dayinlondon/dayinlondon.htm

Things that don't make as much sense as they first seem ...

Ken Bigley

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The news channels were pretty much saturated with reports of Ken Bigley's murder today. Commentators kept repeating the same line; that it was right for the British Government to refuse to negotiate with the hostage takers because that would have made every contractor in Iraq a target ...

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Bollocks

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Every contractor in Iraq was, is and always will be a target. Negotiating for one poor sod's life would not have changed the status of other contractors one bit; but the justification sounds plausible if you don't think about it for too long. The Israelis negotiate with hostage takers all the time and they're not exactly regarded as being limp-wristed in these matters.

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A few other related thoughts from the day:

• No-one has categorically explained what kind of contract Ken Bigley was working on. You have to assume therefore that it was a miltary one. Eighteen months after the war and the US / UK still haven't returned Iraq's basic infrastructure to its shoddy pre-war status. A top tip for invading superpowers - don't splatter a country's utility services one week before you plan to occupy it and manage an orderly transition to democracy.
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• Most of the genuinely civilian contractors out there seem to be working on military installations or, for some reason, mobile phone masts. Then there are those other 'civilian' contractors who perform torture at hourly rates or ponce around with custom M16s (the cool looking ones with the collapsible stocks and integrated mortar launchers) and sunglasses, hoping to make the cover of Soldier of Fortune magazine. These goings on are unlikely to endear the locals to Westerners.
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• Negotiating with terrorists is a no-no but giving them wall-to-wall global coverage on BBC and Sky is fine. That makes a lot of sense doesn't it.
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• I almost choked at one point tonight when a BBC presenter said 'More on the execution of Ken Bigley in a moment but first let's catch up on the latest sports headlines.
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• It's been said many times before but why, why on why, does the BBC, SKY, CNN et al insist on sending out starkly blonde, horsey middle class women to Islamic hot spots as their anchor reporters? We're not talking the odd couple here and there, we're talking lots and lots. How much credibility do these women have when asked about what Iraqis are thinking on the streets of Baghdad? 'Well Roger, they all assume I'm a prostitute and spend most of their time trying to shag me because they think all Western women are sluts. When not trying to shag me they ignore me because I blatantly disregard the Islamic dress code'

That country is going to go tits up and we are eventually going to leave with our tails between our legs. The only question is how long till then and how many people will die getting there.

Up above the streets and houses rainbow flying high ...

Zippy, George and Bungle

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From the Golden Age of British Children's TV:

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Rod (to Jane): "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?"

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Jane: "Oh no Rod, I was blowing a lot with Roger last night. But would you like to play with my maracas?"
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Zippy: "No, let's just pluck away with our twangers."
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Bungle: "Yes, it doesn't matter what size your twanger is."
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Zippy: "I've got a big red one."
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George: "I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to play with it."
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Geoffrey (to viewers): "Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember, you can bounce your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any balls, ask a friend if you can play with his.
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Video and further extracts here ...

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http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html

The finest Chinese Elvis this side of the Great Wall ...

http://www.chineseelvis.com/

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Just found the official web site of Pete Hyu, the Elvis impersonator who made the Shoreditch Car Free Day a lot more entertaining that you would have any justification to expect from a collection of 'right on' types hanging around in the middle of a street with their beads, organic ciabattas and backpack-mounted spawn.

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This guy rules the Known Universe and should stand for election to high office. Check out his website - not only is his site superbly amateurish, his rates are negotiable as well as reasonable. Very highly recommended.

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http://www.chineseelvis.com/

Spot The Three Differences

Quite a challenging (and highly recommended) game here

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http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/zoeken.html

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suggest you turn the volume down if you're trying this in an office, as the answer comes partly as a sound file

The Biscuit Game

www.biscuitgame.com

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Apologies for all those young mum's and dads who have visited my homepage on the basis that they would find pictures of their kids eating cake at various birthday parties I have attended recently; only to stumble upon a series of foaming and profane polemics about global conspiracy, the futility of 21st century lifestyles, pain, misery and death.

I have now segregated all potentially thought-provoking content and placed it on my new domain www.biscuitgame.com, rather than www.zucconi.co.uk, so that you can proceed without the risk of encountering any material that might cause you to think about the world you live in or anything distressing like that. Say hello to the guys at IKEA for me next time you're there will you ...

Anyway, back to my main blog and the many good and not so good things it contains here ...

http://stefzucconi.blogspot.com/

Hate Something Change Something Make Something Better

www.honda.co.uk
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Honda UK has recently started screening an ad for its new generation of diesel engines.
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It's marvellous. The animators clearly consume a bucket of LSD with their Cornflakes before tripping to work each morning. Drawn in vivid psychedelic colours and populated by penguins, flamingos, bunny rabbits, seals and dolphins, with an acoustic backing track. We haven't seen or heard anything like this since 1969.
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At a stroke Honda has transformed British Commercial television into medium that plays their advert, punctuated by boring reality TV shows in between.
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As a piece of advertising it does the job. I now know that Honda is pushing a new series of quiet, low emission diesel engines. I also feel all warm n fuzzy about those engines. What Honda didn't do was target my weaknesses; my vanities, my insecurities, my fears, parcel me up into a cost-effective target demographic and hit that demographic with an ad that attempted to brainwash me into thinking that buying their cars would make me taller, blonder, more admired, have larger wedding tackle or join the upper classes.
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Thank you Honda and your ad agency. It's nice to know that there are some corporate people out that don't take us all for a bunch of retarded morons.
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Watch this ad now, here ...
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www.honda.co.uk

The Joy of Psyops

Spontaneous, tank-assisted, upwelling of Iraqi support

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I've just finished reading a thread on a photo enthusiasts' web forum about photographic freedoms that had deteriorated into a political discussion about the War on Terror and the War in Iraq. What struck me most about the forum was the fact that many people clearly have swallowed and still believe some of the stories we've been spoon-fed over the last couple of years. Stories that are now demonstrably untrue. Many stories fit this category but I'd like to run through a few of my favourites …

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http://www.biscuitgame.com/world/vietnamtwo/vietnam2.htm

Stef's photography power tips

Turbo-charge your photography with my power tips ...

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The web is full of photographic sites that explain the basic rules of photographic composition; keep the horizon straight, avoid camera shake, avoid cluttered composition etc. etc.
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OK, you've bought a state of the art, fully automated camera and you've learned and adhere to the basic rules of photographic composition but it's not enough is it? Your pictures still lack a certain 'oomph' factor. What you're lacking, what you need, are Stef's Power Tips to Supercharge Your Photography. Here they are ...

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Stef's Photo Power Tips
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